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Judge Decides X-Men Aren't Human
An anonymous reader points to this Wall Street Journal article, writing "According to the U.S. Court of International Trade, the X-Men (along with other figures from the Marvel universe) aren't human. The presiding judge subjected the figures to "comprehensive examinations" which included "the need to remove the clothes of the figure." Ironically, the X-Men, whose struggle for human acceptance has been a key theme in the series, were more easily classified as non-human than Kraven and Mole Man.
<comic geek pedant mode>
It's Spider-Man, not Spiderman
</cgpm>
And Superman was never human - he was always Kryptonian!
a world in progress...
OK kids. A 32-page ruling on whether or not the X-Men are human or non-human, due to a 6.8% vs 12% import duty differential charged seven years ago, a duty that isn't even in effect anymore.
How many hundreds of thousands (millions?) of dollars got spent on lawyers - both from Marvel's shareholders for their lawyers and our tax dollars being spent on the Government's lawyers - in the case leading up to this ruling - a ruling that took seven years after the initial dispute hit the courts?
In the world of the X-Men, something would have broken by now, but the real world has no superheroes to save us.
Isn't it time we called our Congressmen/women and demanded, on pain of our voting for third parties, that they put the tax law genie back in the bottle?
Anyone? Bueller?
I think that Ken and Barbie would be non-human by this criterion ...
"The judge found that Kraven exhibited "highly exaggerated muscle tone in arms and legs.""
.. if exaggerated musles make craven nonhuman than what about Barbie's extremely small waist size?
This begs the question
(there are as many variants of x-men comics as there are linux distros)
:)
Ain't that the truth!
-MT.
Yes there is. There is an issue as to whether the duties paid should have been at 6.8% (as paid) or 12%. If the judge ruled that the figures were dolls, Toy Biz would have owed the balance of 5.2% for the time it was applicable. That is probably a considerable amount - and I am sure that customs would have hit them with something like a "late fee." :-)
Not only does this follow reasoning, it follows the text of the article:
Toy Biz had good cause to pursue this line. Having its action figures declared toys would mean a hefty reimbursement of past duties, though the company declines to give specifics on how much was at stake.
Leben Sie jetzt die Fragen.
According to the plot of Superman, he shares no DNA with us, he just happens to be roughly the same shape because evolution on Kryton followed a Parallel path.
On the other hand, Spider-man IS human, in fact according to the plot of the comic, he was a perfectly normal person up to the point in the story that he was bitten. Peter Parker dolls definitely should have been subject to the tax, according to the (admittedly very dumb) rules.
A pizza of radius z and thickness a has a volume of pi z z a
A lot of the judge's arguments that were referenced toward the end of the article suggested that she looked at how realistic the figures were in comparison to human attributes.
Could this be a precedent that Mattel could use to collect past duties by having Barbie classified as non-human? I've seen freak-of-nature, steroid-pumped bodybuilders who could pass for some of those X-Men action figures but I have yet to see a woman with Barbie's build.
From the article:
Veteran comics fan Christian Cooper, who once worked as a Marvel editor, thinks Judge Barzilay got carried away. If Kraven isn't human, what about the twisted villains in Dick Tracy? Or worse yet, Superman himself? "Here's a guy who changes his clothes in a phone booth and flies through the air," says Mr. Cooper. "Does that mean he's now an animal?"
No, he's Kryptonian you nitwit. What a kneejerk reaction!
THIS IS OVER IMPORT DUTIES CLASSIFICATION FOR CRIPES SAKE! Who gives a groundhog's fanny if they call Superman a "cup of water with a straw hanging off the end?"
My
Limekiller
I've read many times, in many different places, that the superheroes and villians of the Marvel Universe are *not* human at all because of their slight forward step in the evolutionary process. We are 'homo sapiens' they (collectively) are 'homo superior.'
Superman (and any other alien--and yes, I know full well Superman is a DC creation, so I'm not mixing companies here) would fall into the family of 'extraterrestrialis.'
So with that, it's clear that they are not human, and their plasic representations, although possessing humanoid forms, are not humans (as are you and me.)
Firstly, Magneto has it wrong, Mutants are humans since they can interbreed with any Homo-sapien on the Marvel earth. They would be better classified as the only other race of Homo-sapiens (NB "races" such as Caucasian, Indian, Hispanic, etc. don't really exist because there isn't enough differences in the genetics for such races to exist within the definition of biology.)
Secondly, you're right, in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter all that much, but it's still something to be upset about. The X-Men, for many people, aren't merely characters in a great piece of fiction, but also a metaphor for those in humanity who have felt the sting of oppression by fellow human beings.
This comic also shows that oppressed people are still human. Being oppressed does not necessarily provide justification for all actions used to break that oppression. The comic shows the complexity of human nature and its affairs, rather than trying to make clear distinctions between good and evil.
// file: mice.h
#include "frickin_lasers.h"
I can't speak for your moral obligations, but what burns me up is that as an American, you're not legally obliged not to kill them, you're also legally obliged to pay them for the privilege. Talk about insult to injury.
"Them", being "accountants and lawyers", to figure out which of the 7 million words of the Internal Revenue Code (and no doubt similarly-massive Customs regs in this case) apply to you.
In 1999, tax compliance costs in the US were $300 billion per year. The goddamn income tax collected only $650 billion that year.
Think about that for a minute. For every $1000 in tax collected by the Federal Government, CPAs and lawyers raked in $500.
I'll argue for lower taxes every chance I get - but I want the whole package lowered. End phaseouts. End special exemptions. Bring in a flat tax, or scrap the income tax in favor of a consumption tax. If that means my sacred ox gets gored, and I have pay $1250 to the government every year, versus $1000 to the government and $500 to a CPA, I'm still $250 ahead of the game.
By reforming the Internal Revenue Code and eliminating this overhead, even the goddamn government would be ahead of the game. (At worst, they'd break even, considering they currently take half - $250 - of the $500 spent on compliance costs for every $1000 in taxes paid :-)
The irony was in demonstrating that you can push and lobby a federal judge into affirming any damn thing you like...
...but not until a couple of years after it ceases to matter.
Thus the system is corrupt, but so slow that it's all fair in the end. Didn't Frank Herbert foresee this with the Bureau of Sabotage?
I went to see if I could find Judge's opinion online. Indeed, it is! In PDF form, I bring you Toy Biz, Inc. v. United States.
For those of you decrying our taxpayer dollars going to waste on such a suit, it appears some at least is being used to make such decisions more accessible, a fact which I hope we can all agree upon.
Personally, I think it was worth every penny to expose a fantastic example of corporate hypocracy. I read maybe a dozen X-Men comics (and didn't see the movie) and the main philosophical point I saw that the series revolved around (besides raw action) was that the X-Men should in fact be considered human despite their 'mutant' powers.
Given that, what could be more hypocritical than turning around and claiming that, while for storyline purposes the X-Men should be considered human, but for tax purposes, they are not.
But maybe I should read the Judge's opinion first. It's long, so I'm posting the link here before I read. Based on the first paragraph, it looks like the matter never went to a full trial and was decided in a pre-trial 'summary judgement'.
--LP
He was talking about the headline, not the content. The headline says they were declared 'not human'. The truth is, they were declared 'not dolls'
That is whats called sensationalism, and something that the WSJ usually does not take part in.
Would you have read the article if it had said 'Judge Decides X-Men Are Toys and not Dolls', which is really what the article is about.
They are what they always were, merchandise.
Of course 40 years ago I had a slightly different view whilst putting my paper route profits into Stan Lee's pocket.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Years back people were already telling Africans apart from each other from their genes. They're actually rather genetically disparate - from the Biaka pygmies to Zulus.
If scientists say they can trace origins of the human race by genetic means, then they should be able to tell the races apart.
Real races I mean. Not silly arbitrary amalgations like the USA's "Pacific Islander + Asian" or UK's "Asian".
I daresay I have more in common with Asian women than _you_ think.
Why should talking about human races cause conflict? To me it's just like talking about people with different characteristics. Or different breeds of dogs for that matter - and we know though a dog is a dog is a dog, different breeds have different characteristics. The differences are less marked for humans (we're mostly "mongrels" that separated out ages ago), but they're there.
Just avoid the politicians and bigots, and we should be fine talking about racial differences.
The point is, that it has not "ceased to matter". Read the article, and you will see that the toy company is seeking refund of paid import duty... no doubt with interest. And no doubt with legal costs.
The American public is ultimately going to lose out. If you bought one of these X-Men figures during the period in question, you paid the higher duty on it. Now,
Toy Biz is going to get back some of that duty... from the government; ergo, from the taxpayers.
You get screwed twice.
Never mind super-powers...
How could they be humans, Toy Biz said, if they possessed "tentacles, claws, wings or robotic limbs?"
Just get yourself into a nasty motorcycle accident and get fitted with a motor assisted artificial leg. Hey presto, you can't possibly be human anymore!
Plus the stories are only pretend.
I did wonder if it was the best use of the court's time, till I read down and saw the real reason - the usual one of course. It's not the first anomaly of this kind though. In the UK, chocolate biscuits used to be taxed higher than uncoated ones (or ones with imitation chocolate coating). In France, beer of 7% alcohol is taxed higher than wine of 10% strength to discourage alcoholism.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."