Telemarketers Sue to Block Do-Not-Call List

chumpieboy writes "A story on Yahoo tells about about the DMA's attempts to stop a national DoNotCall list, essentially claiming that Opt Out is not a viable model for telemarketers. Yet they claim that Opt Out is a viable model for email marketing?"

Comments

fantasy system:

[timothy]

[Medium Closeup: telemarketer dials]

[SFX: ringing phone]

[SFX: an audible click, followed by a recording]

[Slow zoom, from closeup to extreme closeup, onto a telephone or computer with exaggerated blinking lights to show activity]

Recorded voice: "Hi! You're reached my telephone number. If you'd like to agree to be charged up to $10/minute at my sole discretion, please hit the "1" key now! I don't charge my friends, but if you're wasting my time with an unsolicited sales call generated by a database, please be advised that your calls are valuable to me."

[Medium closeup: telemarketer, with can of soda in one hand, hangs up, frustrated]

[Extreme closeup: hand crushing soda can]

Re:fantasy system:

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, you could always do what I did all last year. Play games with them. Pretend you are an old man and get the words screwed up. Talk sexy, not dirty, to them. Amazing, I have not gotten a telemarketing call in about 4 months now. Even my kids got into the act and miss the calls. Pretty sick, no? :)

Re:fantasy system:

[MattCohn.com]

I convinced someone trying to sell me long distance that I did NOT have a phone.

Sir, could I speak to the owner of the household?
>That's me.
And you have no phone?
>Correct.
You are at YOUR house?
>Yep.
And you OWN the house?
>Yes.
Yet you have no phone?
>Nope. No phone.

Went on for about 15 minutes. I think he started to belive it at the end.

Re:fantasy system:

[Anonymous Coward]

I guarantee you would have had an emotional response if you'd called my apartment back when I was in college.

My roommate and I used to keep one of those air horn noise makers next to the phone just for the wonderful opportunities offered by telemarketers to college students. As soon as we identified the caller as an unwanted call...120 dB right into the phone...too bad Ma Bell can't transmit that loud of a signal through the network. I guarantee that the same telemarketer NEVER called our number back.

I'd still be doing it now, but the wife says it sets a bad example for the kids. *shrug*

Re:fantasy system:

[Dr. Evil]

Oh no.... new business plan:

"Hello Sir/Madam, we noticed that you are not on the Do Not Call List, this means that at any moment, perhaps even now, a telemarketer might be trying to reach you. For the low, low price of $5, you can be added to this list. It's easy, just press 1 and never be bothered again."

Damn, that's worth a patent.

Pray that it will back-fire

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe they can successfully make the argument that opt-out lists like the proposed "Do Not Call" won't allow them to operate effectively. Bear with me here...

So, instead of a "Do Not Call" list being maintained that they have to honor, people will have to register for a "Do Call" list. This list will contain the phone numbers of people who have registered themselves as wanting telemarketing calls. This list is also the only list which telemarketers can use when calling people.

Okay, a pipe dream, but it surely would be a more manageable list, no?

Re:Pray that it will back-fire

[Anonymous Coward]

Okay, a pipe dream, but it surely would be a more manageable list, no?

I'm not so sure about that. The list could become quite large once you require that all telemarketers, their employees, and their family members must be on the "Do Call" list. Of course, all calls to them should be made between 1 and 4 AM.

And take this with ya!

[Nidhogg]

The proposal cleared a crucial hurdle earlier Wednesday when a House of Representatives committee voted to give the FTC the power to collect fees from telemarketers to pay for the list.

So they're making them pay for it too?

Hot damn. If I ever meet an FTC member they're getting a hug.

Stupid, stupid businessmen

[Anonymous Coward]

How bad is this going to get?

I want to start a business where I send people bills in the mail that they must pay. Sure this is a stupid business model, but I want a law that makes it work, dammit!

Oh, and I'd better patent this business plan fast!

Opting-out

[doc_traig]

I'm so scarred by the daily battles with spam that the whole thought of opting-out of anything repulses me... I feel like if I get on some DNC list that a bunch of offshore telemarketers will get their hands on that list so they have "live" targets.

My wife recently told me that she was clicking on an opt-out link on some bit of spam and I nearly tackled her out of her chair to keep her from doing it.

You can't let them know you're there! Pull the shades! Rip the phone out of the wall! Gag the dog!

Strangely, I agree with them for once...

[NoMoreNicksLeft]

I wholeheartedly concur with them, and fervently believe it should be an opt-in list. For telemarketers to call you, they should have to be able to prove to authorities that you are on the opt-in call list, which should be impossible for most people make themselves listed. If they are insane or something, and keep trying, it should require a 6 month waiting list, complete with psych evaluation and $1500 fees, and an in-person registration in DC, complete with 9 picture IDs, just to put your name on the list.

Any telemarketer violating this opt-in list, whether for commercial, charity, or survey purposes would be subject to life in a Mexican prison without parole. Then again, sending all our telemarketers to Mexico would probably be an act of war... my apologies to any mexicans reading this, I retract that last part.

That's tame

[acidrain69]

I had a roommate once that told the guy on the phone he was a little busy at the moment because he was masturbating. I've told people I was blind before so they wouldn't try to sell me some visual-oriented device.

"Sorry, I'm getting a blowjob right now, and my girlfriend is getting a little mad that I'm not paying attention to her. "

You can have a lot of fun with this.

You know, my mugger told me the same thing.

[dark-nl]

Muggers have to make a living too. The guy was aware that taking my watch and my wallet might annoy me, but hey, he's got to make money somehow, and muggers don't have it easy.

I told him to place me on his "do not mug" list, but he didn't seem interested.

Re:Fun with telemarketers

[cybermace5]

My favorite is a simple question:

"So. Is this really what you wanted to be when you grew up?"

The way to stop telemarketers

[jmorse]

I despise telemarketers. I also despise evangelicals. It's fun to use one against the other. Here's how my typical solicitation call goes:

[Telemarketer]: Good evening, sir! I'm calling from -insert company here- and we'd like to tell you about an amazing new offer on our new -insert product here-!

[Me]: Well, I'd certainly be interested in your -insert product here- but first, I'd like to talk to you about the Lord Jesus Christ(TM) and your future in the Kingdom of Heaven(TM).

[Telemarketer]: huh?

[Me]: Now, sir, are you absolutely sure that your soul will go to Heaven(TM) when you die?

[Telemarketer]: Um, well, ...

[Me]: Because, you know, Jesus(SM) died for your sins, and those who know Him(TM), I mean the True Him(TM) are guaranteed a place in God's(TM) Kingdom(TM) when the Rapture(TM) arrives.

[Telemarketer]: Well, I never, um...

[Me]: And it's a documented fact that the Bible(TM) guarantees that the children of Jehovah(TM) have a place in that Holy Domain(TM). Now sir, do you go to church regularly?

By this time, the telemarketer is so damn disturbed that s/he usually hangs up and I never get a call from them again.

I suppose you could use a telemarketer spiel on the Mormons(TM) and Jehovahs(TM) that come to your door, but they've stopped bugging me since I got my "No Bible Thimpers" sticker from darwinfish.com.

MO AG versus Miss Cleo

[Just Some Guy]

My favorite entries from that list:

• 7-24-01: Nixon sues TV ad psychic Miss Cleo; says "she should have seen this coming"
• 8-08-01: Miss Cleo ordered to pay $75,000 for calling Missourians after warning from Nixon

Ahhh, Jay Nixon: the only Democrat I've ever voted for.