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Digital Celebrities

partridge writes "Carson Daly's simulacrum is the new Max Headroom. I guess this makes Clear Channel Communications the current embodiment of Network 23? Now we just have to wait for the blipverts to start making consumer's heads explode."

16 of 291 comments (clear)

  1. simula- wha? by The+Other+White+Boy · · Score: 2, Funny

    *runs to the nearest thesaurus*

  2. I don't know what's scarier... by gotroot801 · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...the legal ramifications of voice tracking, or the fact that since CCC started this, there's only been one instance where they've had a song show up that they didn't handpick^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hanticipate making the Top 10.

  3. Re:Wha? by neomiasma · · Score: 2, Funny

    You call yourself a geek? I want to see your membership card, Mister! Try this link for starters. If you get TechTV, try catching some episodes.

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    And we also have a cancel button...in case you don't want toast.
  4. Damn by alaric187 · · Score: 2, Funny

    [sarcasm]
    This whole time I thought that MTV and Clear Channel were picking songs that were really good instead of just shoving whatever happens to be popular down my throat.
    [/sarcasm]

  5. The technology can't be too far along... by One+Louder · · Score: 5, Funny
    She said Mr. Daly was unavailable for comment.
    I guess they forgot to prerecord that part.
  6. Re:For the NY Times disabled by Lawbeefaroni · · Score: 4, Funny

    Thanks. Very helpful, considering I thought Carson Daly was a woman.

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    "When it rains, it pours." --Morton's Salt
  7. Re:Wha? by stratjakt · · Score: 2, Funny

    I know Max Headroom, but who's Carson Daly and whats the simaluacarom?

    Isn't he the guy from MTV that does the show about Boy Bands?

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  8. Re:For the NY Times disabled by SubtleNuance · · Score: 2, Funny

    Mr. Daly spends several hours a week in a studio in his Manhattan apartment,

    yet more evidence that we should eat the rich.

  9. Max Headroom vs Carson Daley by Dr_LHA · · Score: 4, Funny

    Max Headroom was great, however he was clearly from far in our future (the 20 minutes they suggested was obviously an gross underestimate). Current technology only allows creation of fake personalities with absolutely no charisma (has anyone seen Carson Daly's talk show?).

    Hopefully with increased technology we will be able to create in the future a media personality with the charisma of Max Headroom.

  10. Re:Wha? by stratjakt · · Score: 2, Funny

    Thank you.

    I recall someone trying to explain that to me in grade school once, but his head was submerged in the toilet bowl at the time, and I was busy counting his lunch money.

    --
    I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
  11. DJ 3000 from the Simpsons? by Spamlent+Green · · Score: 5, Funny

    Does this remind anyone of the DJ 3000 from the Simpsons episode "Bart gets an elephant" ?

    Boss: This is the DJ 3000. It plays CDs automatically, and it has three distinct varieties of inane chatter.
    [presses a button]
    DJ 3000: [stilted] Hey, hey. How about that weather out there?

    Woah! _That_ was the caller from hell.

    Well, hot dog! We have a weiner.

    Bill: Man, that thing's great!

    Marty: _Don't_ praise the machine!

    Boss: If you don't get that kid an elephant by tomorrow, the DJ 3000 gets your job.

    [Marty punches it]

    DJ 3000: Those clowns in congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns.

    Bill: [laughs] How does it keep up with the news like that?

  12. Moviephone by Torgo's+Pizza · · Score: 3, Funny

    What?!? Are you also telling me that the guy on AOL MoviePhone isn't live? That they just cobble his sentences together with... a computer! This can't be happening! To think I thought we had something special together.

  13. Re:For the NY Times disabled by Forgotten · · Score: 5, Funny

    Carson Daly is neither a man nor a woman. Carson Daly, is, in fact, already a simulacrum. This whole thing is a smokescreen.

    The original Carson Daly, like most TV hosts nowadays, was a vaccuum-molded plastic talking head with interchangeable parts (the molding process isn't perfect, so some vaccuum always remains within). You've seen early versions of this technology sold as "Mr. Potato Head". Strictly speaking this incarnation didn't talk, but could be synced to an audio track. The interchangeable parts are especially useful, allowing facial features to be gradually changed and teeth to whiten, etc, as fashion dictates while still preserving the all-important familiarity factor.

    Work was done on transitioning to a fully digital TV host starting in the early nineties. Trivia - parts of the movie "Toy Story" actually stemmed from this work (the digitally rendered Mr. Potato Head is an obvious example). These early efforts were extremely non-realtime, however, and unsuited even for the glazed perceptions of seasoned TV viewers.

    Now these "people" are thought to be ready for primetime. They're still not completely realistic, which is why the initial rollout will be on networks like MTV where the viewing audience is especially numb and used to very rapid edits, constant lip-syncing, and other concealments of ineptitude. But soon you won't be able to find a real live TV host on either coast of the US. This isn't expected to actually effect the parties in any way.

    Hope that helps.

  14. And the award for... by Anonvmous+Coward · · Score: 3, Funny
    'Vaguest Description' goes to "Digital Celebrities""/ for this amazing performance:

    "Carson Daly's simulacrum is the new Max Headroom. I guess this makes Clear Channel Communications the current embodiment of Network 23? Now we just have to wait for the blipverts to start making consumer's heads explode."


    Not only were the pop-culture references so obscure that people were forced to demand assistance from Google, but they also had to RTFA in order to provide ANY useful insight!

    Partridge was kind enough to send me his accepatance speech, it reads:

    "I'm so pleased to accept this reward! I feel just like Kryten did when he was forced to wash 800 bedsheets as part of his sentence."
  15. Digital Editing by Malicious · · Score: 2, Funny
    WE've seen Mr. Burns tell Smithers how good he is at turning him on...

    We've heard Mr Bush call the American people evil, and terrorists,

    We've seen OJ Simpson in Fuzzy Bunny slippers...

    Why should we not expect Carson Daily to get manipulated up the wazoo?

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  16. Re:Regulatory mandate by Lord+Ender · · Score: 2, Funny

    Ketchup isn't a vegetable? Oh, crap! My food pyramid is collapsing!

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