Slashdot Mirror
Some Geek Guides for Dating
An anonymous reader sends in this: "In honor of upcoming V-day, here are some geek guides for help in finding your geeky match: Guy's Guide to Geek Girls,
Girl's Guide to Geek Guys, advice from a she-geek, Engineer Your Love Life and Bart's Dating Guide for Geeks.
And for those of you who are absolutely hopeless, well, there is always Coincidence Designs... It's not too late, so good luck!" Another reader has some good news: "An article in Discover magazine reports on research done by scientists at the University of Toronto about how males attract mates. The cited article claims that when males are young, the show offs are actually the ones who are least likely to succeed later on. This causes a "revenge of the nerds effect:" the football players burn out but the nerds become sexy!" And if all else fails, you can try a Valentine's Day Form Letter.
Girl's Guide to Geek Guys link is broken
huh?
Here's another article in honor of Valentine's Day - A guide on how to get your Valentine hooked on gaming!
http://www.gametab.com/features/valentines.1/
here
You could link and at least credit the source...
:)
Takes up less space as well
Don't settle on an ugly chick. Hot chicks will lay down with just about anything during high school and college, too.
The legendary "Girl's Guide to Geek Guys" by Mikki Halpin (and originally published in Bunnyhop, a great 'zine) is slashdotted at antioch.edu, apparently.
The Google cache is here
Some more mirrors are here, and here at XS4ALL in Holland.
And btw, one of the pages mentions that Mikki has written a book based on the article. The book is available on the Evil Patenting Amazon.com.
I, for one, welcome our new Antichrist overlord.
http://www.neystadt.org/john/humor/Girls-Guide-To- Geek-Guys.htm"
I am so creative, look at my cry for attention in my sig.
- Introduction
- How To Be Sexy
- The Art of the Pickup
- The Dating Game
- On Being Good In Bed
- Sex and Consequences
- Relationship Management
- Avoiding the Curse of Oversensitivity
Probably the most unintentionally funny thing ESR has ever written.Truth in advertising: there are men who act like that, and yes, there are women who like men who act like that. But if you're not one of those men, you're essentially selling your soul to become one -- and the women you'll pick up that way aren't going to be worth your while for very long. Trust me on this.
My favorite quote from the site:
This reads like something written by a guy who just recently found out what the word "dominatrix" means and who is is Really Disturbed by the idea
Enjoy your jack-off fantasies, kids.
The correlation between ignorance of statistics and using "correlation is not causation" as an argument is close to 1.
Coincidence Design is a hoax. Research, people! It takes all of two minutes.
"Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
how about a redhead for valentine's day?
Actually the percentage is probably a lot higher than that. The 10% figure is not people who identify as gay or lesbian, but people who have had same sex experiences. And that was only in one study, which may have not been properly (i.e. randomly) selected. Subsequent studies have shown that the proportion of people (at least in the U.S.) who identify as gay or lesbian is somewhere between 1% and 2%. This is not to attempt to make this sound like a small group of people. Consider that the percentage of people in the U.S. who are Jewish is also somewhere between 1% and 2%.
This is lucky, because if the gay population really were 10% of the whole, one would reasonably expect one of the ten links in the posted story to be gay or lesbian oriented and the charge of homophobia would have some support. As it is, at least one of the articles is not gender specific and actually references same sex affections.
I do not have a signature
I would respectfully disagree. Assimilting the unwritten rules of dating is part of the socialization process. If you somehow managed to skip the part about love, or how to get along with most 'normal' humans, you're royally screwed, because everyone else is following a protocol, and you can't find the FAQ. If, however, you're the sort of geek who can follow instructions when they're given, and the instructions are written well enough, this is good. My best friend had never learned that an appropriate way to express his feelings on a birthday or Valentine's Day was to give flowers. When I told him that this worked, he was doubtful, but he gave his girlfriend roses. It worked. His girlfriend was delighted. He has now added the action 'give flowers' to his list of acceptable demonstrations of love. The hopeless ones are the people who just do not get that something is not socially acceptable, or do not get that something is socially expected, even after they've been told.
Maybe that in a forum mostly used by men, we have a total and absolute disgust of other men who suck another man's dick or to fuck another man in the ass.
Maybe you do, but then you've got some kind of weird hangup. I think it's more likely that "we" have disgust for people who think like you... fortunately though, your brand of intolerance is fading away.
In other words, Relax.
And in the event that you've been given the honor of taking a lady out... you might need this...
http://www.tieanecktie.com/
1)Take Group Dance lessons. Salsa, Swing, whatever. In most dance studios you have to switch partners throughout the class and you can talk/flirt during the lessons.
This really is the best place. I was amazed at the # of single women that show up to dance classes. And practicing dancing is an easy way to get a date....
Some links are broken, some are just too darn slow. Hope these help:
(thanks, archive.org and google!)
A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys
Bart's Dating Guide for Geeks
This emotional chasm is what has driven many of the Great Geeks (Einstein, Feynman, et al) to pour their energy into invention and genius.
Survey says, "Bzzt!" Thank you for playing.
Feynman had great connections with other people. Read up on him. He was not only a brilliant physicist, he was also a popular teacher. Part of the joy of figuring things out was helping other people understand his insights.
It's true he was deeply affected by the death of his wife Arline. Even after that, though, he often went to places where he could be surrounded by other people. He played drums in a band!
Hardly the emotional chasm you mention.
Little Debian: America's #1 Snack Distro!
Also, it means you have to actually be prepared to go and talk to women you've never met, out of the blue. That scares a lot of men off.
If you want a long, drawn-out romantic relationship with a women where you might get a whiff of her snatch after 6 months of present-buying and supplication, or you want to stand about and hope a woman seduces you every few years or so (i.e. you get 'lucky' ever so often), or you want to die a sad loser who was too scared to take control of his own life, then there's nothing for you here.
However, if you want to turn yourself from a shag-less loser into someone who can shag any woman, anywhere. (And before someone comes in to say that you'll only be able to get sluts, that's bullshit. Any woman can be seduced by these methods, intelligent, decent, attractive women. All women like sex, all women like being seduced.)
If you're a complete seduction newbie, I'd recomment reading this: http://fastseduction.com/guide/. It tells you the basics of getting laid, including the following main ideas:
Of course, most of this is just basic common sense and psychology, but this site puts it into words. The hardest parts are a) Having the balls, b) Shattering your illusions.
So instead of sitting behind your computer whining on a Friday night, go out. Approach a hundred women, get rejected a hundred times, and enjoy it. Go back and do it the next night. Don't be the loser who stands in the corner all shy, hoping a woman will come to him. Be the man who goes and talks to the women, who seduces them. Be the man who has whichever women he wants lying naked on his bed. It's not too late, you CAN change. Do it.
Guy's Guide to Geek Guys
:) Alas, this isn't a *guide* yet. Just a version 0.1 of what may become a guide one day. Maybe. :)
:) They are a subculture distinct from the rest of the population, whether gay or straight. They tend to be very smart, interesting, and very idiosyncratic.
:)
:). Still, geeks tend to be less extraverted and more shy than non-geeks. This means they might prefer to stay home rather than go to a club - so you're less likely to run into them in bars - and it may be difficult to convince one to go out.
:)
:)
:) They are keenly aware of the different value systems the two cultures represent (especially when they're mutually contradictory), and go to great lengths to project their membership and independence of both groups, often simultaneously.
There isn't really much of a "gay geek guide", so I figured I might just as well start one. Besides, it's Friday afternoon and I don't feel like doing any work.
On to the subject.
What do non-geek guys need to know? The most important bit is that geek guys are, well, geeky.
Physical appearance is usually of secondary importance to gay geeks, although not as much as one may suspect. The geek culture usually views appearance as secondary to intellectual prowess - which leads to an interesting clash of cultures. Gay geeks may think that taking care to look good is beneath them - but nevertheless pay attention to how others present themselves. Just don't point this out to them - they'll immediately deny it.
Participation in sports is usually right out. There is a contingent of sporty geeks, but even they tend towards non-contact, non-confrontational sports, such as frisbee or cycling. Many geeks are altogether aphysical.
Social contact is notoriously a stumbling block, but usually not as bad as in the case of straight geeks. Our playing field is much more level - let's face it, we're all guys, we're really rather straightforward (ahem, gayforward?
Not surprisingly, gay geeks tend toward the introverted, analytic type. They make great intellectual partners - they tend to be well-read, have broad knowledge as well as many areas of expertise, and can be surprisingly cultured. Intellectual nimbleness is highly valued, and even their sense of humor tends towards the analytic and absurd - which can be good or bad, depending on how far it's taken.
Though there are many types of geek, computer geeks in particular will spend a lot of time exploring computer systems. The machine is for them both something to play with and something to learn about - and they greatly enjoy both activities. They will also often enjoy 'geeking out' - talking shop with other geeks. Don't try to stop them, it's impossible. Just take comfort knowing that after half-an-hour or so, after they've finished geeking out about the latest operating system thingamajigs or what have you, they'll be more than happy to come back to earth and talk about normal things again.
More often than not, they'll instinctively tend to analyze everything, and act in thought-out ways. It's rare for them to be extemporaneous and wild - that mode of behavior is contrary to what they value. Very few gay geeks are also drama queens. So know what you're going in for.
Geeks and gays both build very idiosyncratic subcultures, with very distinct values and ways of communication. This usually means gay geeks are doubly idiosyncratic.
On the plus side, gay geeks are usually much more conscious of their quirks than straight geeks or gay non-geeks. They realize some of their fascinations, their anime, sci-fi, computer games, or what have you, are just ways of asserting individual difference - and they derive much of the pleasure from this separation. Don't expect them to want to conform to any popular mold.
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This work is hereby donated to the public domain. Do what you want with it.
"One aspect of geekiness has always been a lack of connection with other people. This emotional chasm is what has driven many of the Great Geeks (Einstein, Feynman, et al) to pour their energy into invention and genius."
You realize, of course, that you just listed two married men in your "support" of your argument...
For the most part I don't use recipes. I cook.
Cooking is like coding. The idea isn't to cut and paste code, the idea is to understand what you're doing.
Cooking has the equivilent of algorighms. Learn these instead of recipies. Certain spices mix well with certain foods and certain other spices. Conversely they can go badly as well. Certain techniques apply to certain foods, but not to others. Etc.
When you get these ideas down you can just go to the pantry, or even the dumpster, and whip up a masterpiece out of whatever happens to be there.
If you *really* want to learn to cook get theory and technique books, not recipe books.
Start out with James Beard's "Theory and Practice of Good Cooking" and go on from there. It starts out with a recipe for "boiling water" and works up from there.
KFG