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The Fastest Video Card You Can Buy

Posted by chrisd on from the one-spicy-meatball-of-a-heatsink dept.

Mack writes "OCAddiction takes a look at the fastest video currently on the market. Here's what they say."With the release of Doom III pending, both ATI and nVidia are scrambling to show their very best product on game day, this we can count on. But as it stands now, the OCSystem Enhanced Radeon 9700 Pro Level III SE is simply the best card your money can buy today.""

19 of 344 comments (clear)

  1. Duh... by robbyjo · · Score: 2, Funny

    Why do they sell this thing when winter is about to end? They're supposed to sell it by mid November last year... It would be a perfect time to play WarCraft 3 and keep yourself warm.

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  2. Kind of expensive.. by euxneks · · Score: 2, Funny

    the best card your money can buy today

    Shouldn't that say ALL of your money? Video cards nowadays are BLODDY expensive!

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  3. GeForce FX -- you'll need a bigger box by Allen+Varney · · Score: 1, Funny

    NVidia shipped an engineering prototype of the forthcoming GeForce MX to an artist I know. It turned out no box in the office was sufficiently macho to run this studly MX board. You need a -- wait for it -- a 350-watt power supply. So NVidia shipped him a computer specifically butch enough to run this thing. I looked in the next day; he still hadn't got the thing running right. Some kind of driver issue. Now and then the board would unpredictably heat up to 200 degrees Fahrenheit. Also, it roars like a vacuum cleaner. It takes up two PCI slots, not that this is a big deal for most gamers. And, oh yeah, it's gonna cost something like $4-500.

    Wish I'd got to see the beautiful graphics. I can only assume that they must be super-duper mega-cosmically spectacular, because if they're not, this card sounds an awful lot like "four strikes and you're out."

  4. Way to much eye candy on that link by trinity93 · · Score: 2, Funny

    that link almost crashed my machine. Way to much movement for one browser to handel :). Maybe if i bought the card it would work better eh?

    Remember when you could veiw a web page on a 386?

    (sigh)

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  5. Re:Yes, there are, and then some by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Marvin the Martian called. He wants his hyperdimensional space modulator back.

  6. Japanese Marketing? by silverhalide · · Score: 4, Funny
    You would think the next version of a nifty video card would be like, "Radeon 9800" or something. But Noooooooooo, you gotta make it sound extra fast:

    "OCSystem Enhanced Radeon 9700 Pro Level III SE"

    This is too good to resist. They must've hired some Japanese marketers or something for this card. I can't imagine the NEXT release:

    OCsystem Super Hyper Mega Ultra Happy Enhanced Radeon 9700 Expert Pro Level IVc SE XP 2.0 Edition

    Is it too hard to simply notch up the model number by a few points?! Sheesh!

    1. Re:Japanese Marketing? by ewhac · · Score: 2, Funny

      When writing a column about graphics driver development for the Be Developer Newsletter (RIP), I needed to come up with a name for an imaginary graphics card. I took a quick glance through the marketing buzzwords of the day, threw them in a blender, punched 'Frappe', and came up with:

      Yoyodyne Monstra VelocElite-LX 128-3D-AGP

      :-),
      Schwab

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      Editor, A1-AAA AmeriCaptions
  7. Well of course it costs more than 450 bucks by kfg · · Score: 5, Funny

    They had to pay the guy who named the thing by the word.

    KFG

  8. "it's", "your", "there" by magarity · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...the person who wrote the article is clearly a long-time /. regular.

  9. As opposed to... by Guitarzan · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...the GeForce FX, which is the fastest card you CAN'T buy!

  10. Re:If I were to buy the fastest video card for DOO by nexex · · Score: 2, Funny
    personally, im waitin for the bitboys card, i hear its gonna rock on duke nukem forver... ;)

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  11. What the hell is this?? by webmaker · · Score: 2, Funny

    Is this a vid card or an aircraft carrier??? Good god thats huge!

  12. Re:Yes, there are, and then some by dimator · · Score: 4, Funny

    How the f*** do you graphically represent gigabytes of genetic data in a meaningful way

    Was that the title of any of your research papers?

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  13. Re:Best card.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Well considering the fact that Nerds Are Unpopular, it shouldn't be suprising that they cry out for acceptance.

  14. and /. please verify your sources! by ihatewinXP · · Score: 2, Funny

    The original posting being from an article in OCAddiction? Listen, I get my news for nerds from nerds, not OxyContin Addicts.

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  15. Re:Yes, there are, and then some by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    What do you mean by image classification? And how exactly do you classify them?

    Well, on my hard drive it's:
    /pix
    /pix/hotBabes
    /pix/hotBabes/blonde
    /pix/hotBabes/redhead
    /pix/hotBabes/asian
    /pix/hotBabes/latina
    /pix/hotBabes/misc
    /pix/xxx
    /pix/xxx/oral
    /pix/xxx/anal
    /pix/xxx/threesomes
    /pix/xxx/misc
    /pix/xxx/goatse
    /pix/xxx/goatse/extraGoats

    etc.

  16. Refreshingly named, in a way by YetAnotherName · · Score: 4, Funny

    Calling the card "OCSystem Enhanced Radeon 9700 Pro Level III SE" is certainly bucking the trend in video card naming.

    Consider various past offerings: ATI Rage, Rage Fury, TNT, TNT2, Annihilator, 3D Blaster Annihilator, S3 Savage, etc.

    We're kind of lucky the OER9700PL3SE wasn't called something like the Violator 3D Ultra Face Blaster Nuke Domination Rip-You-A-New-One 9700.

    1. Re:Refreshingly named, in a way by Leers · · Score: 2, Funny

      I don't know. I refuse to by a card unless it has at leasted 10 different words in it.

      Maybe
      OCSystem Special Enhanced Extended Radeon Helium 10000 XL Pro Level V XP ?

      this is not a sig. It is just the last line of the post.

  17. Rackmount by YetAnotherName · · Score: 4, Funny

    Any real geek knows that if it's not rackmounted, it's just a temporary solution.

    Therefore, I think I'll wait until someone comes out with a 3U rackmount video "card" with its own dual hot-swap power supply and quadruple redundant cooling fans, linked to the AGP bus with a kind of fibre channel setup.

    Let the LAN parties come to me, dammit!