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Amazon Scores Another Patent
theodp writes "Chalk up yet another patent for Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, this time for a Method and system for conducting a discussion relating to an item."
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We're all quite in the shit here at Slashdot, are we not?
Jeff Bezos will patent the sales pitch, and then the close!! --Profit!!
Everything I've ever learned the hard way was based on a statistically invalid sample.
I've applied for a patent that covers:
clicking the reply button
typing comments about other obvious solutions
Clicking submit.
I intend to collect royalties from everyone (I hereby grant myself a free license to use it)
perhaps we shouldn't discuss this item, then. don't want to infringe upon copyrights and all...
It's difficult to tell. But it does look like they patented the concept of having a discussion board linked to a product.
I should probably go ahead and patent "A method for mass advertising using electronic messaging to a group of recipients" and go for the spammers. But there there isn't much money in repo'd trailer houses.
...
Amazon has just patented Tupperware meetings!
Well, you see, the USPTO uses the following method to grant patents:
1. If the patent is from someone they've heard of: GRANTED.
2. If the patent has prior art that will make it invalid in a later court case: GRANTED.
3. If the patent has technical merit and won't create a monopoly situation: DENIED.
Thus, One-click, the patent code versioning and now this... they are on a roll this week!
Mad what people can get patents for. The patent for swinging on a swing is one of the weirdest I've seen in the last few years.
Omnis amans amens
Sooner or later these patents are going to strangle communications completely. This would be no different if I were to patent a method in which 'two or more people can hold a conversation over a medium which converts the spoken word of one party into a format which can be understood by the second party, and vice versa', then charge everyone the next time they want to hold a press conference, debate, meeting, etc.
You think that I'm crazy, you should see this guy!
Up next Amazon is going to patent being the company to first patent common sense procedures that shouldn't be patentable in the first place.
This will save them considerable time, and automatically grandfather in everything they haven't tried to patent yet, including such classics as "Allowing full sentences to be used to describe product", "Shipping material ordered by people from our site", and "Using vowels in our company name".
(This message Patent Pending)
Clicking submit? I wouldn't recommend patening that. I already have a patent a 'visual design to facilitate the submission of data over a networked video typewriter interface'.
Perhaps we can split it though. I'll take rectangular GUI-based submit buttons, and you can have image-based submit buttons.
(But please, before you send off that reply, don't forget the 50 cent royalty in the tip jar to recieve your one-use license to click 'Submit'. This also includes 'Preview'. Thank you.)
BytesTemplar.com
This means I can cancel all of my meetings. After all discussing things on the agenda would violate the patent and I wouldn't want that.
Oh hang on this means that its okay as long as it isn't structured around a topic. Damn you Amazon for condeming us all to a world which only contains long rambling ill focused meetings.
An Eye for an Eye will make the whole world blind - Gandhi
I get it... instead of reminding everyone weekly that the patent system is screwed, we're going to do it daily.
Going out to the Patent office to get a new patent on a fun process that everyone does.. 1a.) The inflation of the lungs by either will or human response to needs of oxygen. 1b.) The deflation of the lungs by either will or human response to expel carbon dioxide. 2a.) The inflation of the lungs to store air and other gases for the rapid exhalation through the mouth or nose. This will cover blowing birthday candles, shouting, talking, yelling, smoking, blowing bubbles and every other human act covered. 2b.) The deflation process that acoomanies the inflation process covered in section 2a. Coughing (both voluntary and involuntary) are also covered as well as sneezing. Wish me luck folks...
If you could sum it up in a nutshell, maybe you should be writing O'Reily books. --- Domasi 2001
Drinking wine by removing the cork to allow the wine to pass trough the bottleneck, on the web
Trying is the first step towards failure.
I propose we cross licence and set up a cartel. POrefereably one ending with AA.
We then sue a geek for a spurious reason to give ourselves coverage in Slashdot.
Obviously this patent system is not old Ben had in mind.
Obi-Wan invented patents?
Is the patent office asleep at the wheel?
I'd think the USPTO is asleep at the wheel in the figurative sense, but the Australian patent office is asleep at the wheel in the literal sense. In fact, the Australian patent office was so asleep that it granted a patent on the wheel.
Will I retire or break 10K?
I invite everybody reading this article to read and understand the patent abstract, claims, and description. If you're serious about patent reform, you should be able to read and understand patents.
/. readers...
If only the USPTO could reach the high standards you set for
"Method and apparatus for the protection of methods, procedures, systems, and apparatuses by grant of exclusive rights by a governing body having executive authority over such rights" (Grant of Patent)
"Method and procedure for the dismantling of civilized society by exclusive diversion with legistative processes" (making people so busy defending themselves against lawsuits to do anything productive)
"Method and apparatus for the production of intellectual property and information by means of the exercise of a passive or active electromechanical or electronic relay or switch causing the dissipation of energy in various ceramic, plastic, semiconductor, or organic elements, causing the semi-permanent organization of atomic or subatomic particles on a dielectric, metallic, organic, semiconductor, ceramic, or plasticine substrate, also causing the luminescence of phosphorescent or electronic optoelectrical or optoelectronic elements." (use of computer)