What if Microsoft went Open Source?

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What if Microsoft went Open Source?

Posted by ryuzaki0 on Saturday March 22, 2003 @04:02AM from the something-to-talk-about dept.

An anonymous reader writes "This article on newsforge takes a speculative look at what would have to happen if Microsoft decided to jump on the Open Source bandwagon (using Microsoft Project as the source of speculation). Amusing to think about, unlikely to happen."

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Re: What if Microsoft went Open Source? by Ken@WearableTech · 2003-03-22 04:04 · Score: 5, Funny

What if Microsoft went Open Source?... Pigs shall fly and people will ski in Hell
What if? by rtnz · 2003-03-22 04:04 · Score: 5, Funny

Slashdot comments would decrease by 50%?
Re: What if Microsoft went Open Source? by Anonymous Coward · 2003-03-22 04:10 · Score: 1, Funny

Is that all. I thought the universe would collapse in on itself.
On a similiar vein by Anonymous Coward · 2003-03-22 04:11 · Score: 4, Funny

What if the sky were pink?

What if we lived in the year 3000?

What if Russia had not become a communist state?

What if the moon turns out to be the home of our overlord and master?

What if I became Pope?

All of these things have something in common. Can you spot what that is? Yes, they're all based on pure fantasy!
1. Re:On a similiar vein by turnstyle · 2003-03-22 04:19 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  What If Phoenix Had Not Died ?
  What If The Hulk Had Killed Wolverine ?
  What If Daredevil Had Killed The Kingpin ?
  What If The Punisher Became An Agent Of S.H.I.E.L.D. ?
  What If New York Had Become Ka-Zar's Savage Land ... Forever ?
  
  --
  Here's what I do: Bitty Browser & Andromeda
2. Re:On a similiar vein by lavalyn · 2003-03-22 04:41 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  What if the RIAA started hosting MP3s?
  
  --
  Doing the Right Thing should not be preempted by making a buck.
3. Re:On a similiar vein by fobbman · 2003-03-22 05:02 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  What if Goatse Man joined the clergy?
  
  Oh wait, that didn't work.
4. Re:On a similiar vein by AppHack · 2003-03-22 05:05 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  What if I became Pope?
  ...
  Yes, they're all based on pure fantasy!
  
  Have you been fantasizing about becoming Pope?
  Hmmmmmmm.
Microsoft Open Source by buss_error · 2003-03-22 04:12 · Score: 4, Funny

As stated, this won't happen. First reason, money. Second reason, control. Third reason, No one would use it once they got a look at the source.

--
Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.
If MS went OSS... by Rai · 2003-03-22 04:13 · Score: 5, Funny

I expect clocks would began running backwards shortly before the fabric of universe unraveled and everyone simultaneously imploded.
1. Re:If MS went OSS... by Stween · 2003-03-22 05:12 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  You mean like in Lemmings, when you double clicked the 'Nuke!' button?
2. Re:If MS went OSS... by Karellen · 2003-03-22 05:45 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Surely you mean:
  
  EGON : "Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light."
  
  RAY (awed): "Complete protonic reversal."
  
  VENKMAN: "OK, That's bad. Good safety tip; thanks Egon."
  
  --
  Why doesn't the gene pool have a life guard?
What if ... by Anonymous Coward · 2003-03-22 04:14 · Score: 2, Funny

What if all of the trolls left slashdot in droves ?
What if editors stopped reposts ?
What if CmdrTaco choice disappeared from polls ?
Re: What if Microsoft went Open Source? by user32.ExitWindowsEx · 2003-03-22 04:15 · Score: 5, Funny

And Slashdot readers shall get laid.

--
"Evil will always triumph because good is dumb." -- Dark Helmet
Re:What if....Open Source Correction by Anonymous Coward · 2003-03-22 04:19 · Score: 2, Funny

What if America was a real democracy and not run by oligarhic oportunists... ?

Unlikely... Impossible ...

Are you just stupid? America isn't run by oligarhic oportunists, America is really and truly an Oligarchy, which means it is run by oligarchic opportunists... Jumping Jeebus! Learn to spell!

Not to mention it is not only run by oligarchs, but these oligarchs are also aristocrats. So we are an Aristocracy in addition to an Oligarchy.

Jumping Jeebus! Get the facts straight!
Re: What if Microsoft went Open Source? by Anonymous Coward · 2003-03-22 04:34 · Score: 5, Funny

How many people read that and wished for MS to go OS? ;oP
Oh the humanity... by lavalyn · 2003-03-22 04:37 · Score: 3, Funny

Porgrammers perusing the IIS code will gouge out their eyes.

--
Doing the Right Thing should not be preempted by making a buck.
Defragger??? by da+cog · 2003-03-22 04:42 · Score: 5, Funny

Microsoft Windows has a defragger? That's so cool! Now when I get blown up while playing Quake I can just alt-tab out, punch the defragger, and watch the shocked expression on my enemies' faces as my pieces fly back together! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

--
Snarkiness is inversely proportional to wisdom because it emphasizes feeling right rather than being right.
1. Re:Defragger??? by deadsaijinx* · 2003-03-22 05:11 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  just remember, It can take the defragger hours to defragg, I don't think you'll wait that long ^^...
  
  --
  YOU SUCK BALLS!
Lots of crappy windows distros? by wardk · 2003-03-22 04:43 · Score: 2, Funny

...all of which would be improvements over the original
Re:Can't and won't by travail_jgd · 2003-03-22 04:53 · Score: 2, Funny

Next time, no posting until my caffeine kicks in. :)
wait.. by Anonymous Coward · 2003-03-22 04:55 · Score: 2, Funny

..so this guy listed 5 of the reasons open-source is bad and called it an article..hell..at least list them all:)
Windows and Linux Integrated by ccarson · 2003-03-22 04:59 · Score: 1, Funny

I think Microsoft should integrate linux shell with Windows. Then, you would get the best of both worlds.
3. Someone Will Fork It by errxn · 2003-03-22 05:01 · Score: 2, Funny

What, is that code not "forked" enough already?

--
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris will still kick your ass.
Re:Give it up by canajin56 · 2003-03-22 05:02 · Score: 5, Funny

Slashdot would become redundant

That's not true! There would still be Anime and cool gadgets! Not to mention Soviet Russia, "all your base", and Beowulf clusters

Oh yes, and still all the OS news, scientific news, and so on....I guess :D

MS...sorry, I mean...M$ bashing isn't what /. is all about, it's just the funnest part ;)

--
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI
New York city if the U.S. loses: by Futurepower(R) · 2003-03-22 05:22 · Score: 3, Funny

New York city if the U.S. loses. From a New Zealand anti-war protest.
Open Sores by Anonymous Coward · 2003-03-22 06:18 · Score: 5, Funny

Thought MS already had lots of open sores ?......
Two simple words-- by Soulfader · 2003-03-22 06:29 · Score: 3, Funny

Code fork.
=)
And in MS HQ by james_underscore · 2003-03-22 06:47 · Score: 2, Funny

Gates: We're going open source!
Goon: Where did that bowl of petunias and sperm whale come from?
Re:Netscape/Mozilla by Per+Wigren · 2003-03-22 07:15 · Score: 5, Funny

If MS Office was Open Source, you'd problably be able to compile it with:
# ./configure --without-clippy

I think that's the biggest reason we want Microsoft to make Office Open Source...

--
My other account has a 3-digit UID.
Open Source derp de derp. by JamieF · 2003-03-22 08:31 · Score: 2, Funny

Open Source derp de derp. Derp de derpity derpy derp. Until one day, the Microsoft derpa derpa derpaderp. Derp de derp. Microsoft Open Source da teedily dumb.

From the creators of GNUDer, and Tum Ta Microsoft Tum Ta Too, Rob Malda is Da Derp Open Source Derp Da Microsoft Derpee Derpee Dumb. Rated PG-13.
Re:Netscape/Mozilla by t0ny · 2003-03-22 10:45 · Score: 3, Funny

An anonymous reader writes "This article on newsforge takes a speculative look at what would have to happen if Microsoft decided to jump on the Open Source bandwagon (using Microsoft Project as the source of speculation). Amusing to think about, unlikely to happen."
The term 'mental masturbation' comes to mind.
Im gonna grab some hand lotion and imagine what would happen if Pam Anderson found me attractive...

--
Manipulate the moderator system! Mod someone as "overrated" today.
Re:Netscape/Mozilla by aussiedood · 2003-03-22 10:50 · Score: 2, Funny

"I'll bet that Microsoft has ten times as many developers working on IE as Netscape does."
I'll bet Netscape doesn't have any developers working on IE!!!
Re:Give it up by Zakarun · 2003-03-22 11:13 · Score: 2, Funny

MS is doing just fine without being OS!
Hmm, so Microsoft _isn't_ a operating system - several tech request session where the (l)user in the other end of the phone replies with "Microsoft" to the question "What OS are you running" have convinced me otherwise...