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Dvorak Thinks Apple Will Switch to Intel
SeanTobin was among several users who noted that Dvorak's latest column discusses the possibility of Apple going to Intel for future macs. Yeah, this rumor pops up pretty often, but I wonder how long before we'd get binary compatibility between other x86 unix OSs.
Between this article, and this article; I expect to wake up monday and find out this weekend never happened!
What is this? Bizzaro World?
[/comicbookguyvoice]
"I would say that 99 per cent of what my father has written about his own life is false." - L. Ron Hubbard Jr.
Next month, Dvorak will have exclusive information on the release date for Duke Nukem: Forever!
I say we combine the standard rumors. Apple is being bought by Intel! Apple will go out of business shortly after using Intel chips! Or, perhaps, for maximum efficiency of rumor: Apple will go bankrupt, be bought by Intel, which will then be bought by Microsoft! Excuse me, my tinfoil hat needs adjusting.
Philip Sandifer's academic website
Malike Bamiyi wanted my assistance.
Such a wild conjecture probably has more validity than most Dvorak articles anyway.
I can explanate how to administrate your network. You must configurate and segmentate it, so it can computate.
And I smoke crack.
Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1992-1951
People are really letting their imagination run riot, aren't they? I mean, only yesterday we discussed Microsoft going open source, and now Apple switching to Intel. What's next? Sun embracing C#? ;-)
In a development that will shock both the PC and pharmaceutical industries, PC pundit John Dvorkak will be "switching platforms."
Long known for his schizophrenic pronouncements concerning the Macintosh platform, sources close to him have confirmed Dvorak's musings have been caused by an adverse, though subtle reaction, to his psychotropic drug regimen.
"Yeah, he's said some crazy things in the past," quotes Dr. Sanghar Mumji, Dvorak's long-time psychiatrist. "You've got to cut him some slack though. Psychiatry isn't an exact science."
Industry analysts predict the dawn of a new day for Dvorak. One analyst, wishing to remain anonymous, remarks, "John has got a long road back, but I've got faith in him. I hear he's working on a Newton story."
quiquid id est, timeo puellas et oscula dantes.
"Only in their dreams can men truly be free 'twas always thus, and always thus will be."
--Tom Schulman
* Scientists will soon develop a safe and efficient cold fusion mechanism
* Microsoft will soon source for Windows under OSS license
* A vaccine for AIDS will soon be available
Have a nice day.
E
http://eugeneciurana.com | http://ciurana.eu
"Folks, the Mac platform is through..." - John C. Dvorak, 1998
Read the EFF's Fair Use FAQ
> He suggests that going with the Itanium instead of x86 will curtail piracy.
He's right, inasmuch as a zero user base would be considered really secure.
Hey Dvorak, will that happen before or after Apple goes broke?
Mike van Lammeren
It will challenge your head, your brain, and your mind.
I agree who reads that dribble from
pcmag anyway, anymore?
Useless tech writers and you would swear
paid promotions of their picks
I remember one he did where he talked about Congress imposing censorship on free speech on the Internet, and made the congressmen he quoted seem particularly clueless. It was an April Fools column, but not obviously so, being published in early March, and I'm sure there were plenty of others besides me who emailed someone in Washington with our opinions on the matter. I was literally so angry that my hands were shaking.
Ironically, that Communications Decency Act came out about a year or two later and made it true.
"Common Sense Ain't" -Unknown
but Dvorak is an excellent composer... have you heard his Cello Concertos? I had no idea he did the "switch"!
"It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance." - Thomas Sowell
Hear hear, we all know that blathering is best left to the expert commenters (such as yourself) here at Slashtdolt.
you should read everything on the internet as if it had "but I'm probably talking out of my ass" appended to it.
...and I mean that quite literally: by churning out his monthly doses of pseudo-controversial pabulum, Dvorak assures PC magazine a minimum number of readers, comprising the hapless dolts who (God help them) take this sort of crap seriously and those who, out of morbid curiosity, can't help but wonder what the shyster will say next.
It truly saddens me to see Dvorak stoop to this level of prostitution - it wasn't always this way. Although the man has never exactly been what one would call a visionary, during the eighties he was at least a respectable commentator. In fact, during his heyday, Dvorak was one of the industry's most influential columnists. Today, he rarely makes anyone's list of major industry pundits, and the reason is simple: Dvorak has become a professional troll.
Today, Dvorak's columns come in three principle flavors: banal, inane, and inflammatory. Whether the specific content that appears in his articles is determined by Dvorak's own fancy or the ebb and flow of PC magazine's monthly sales is uncertain, but what is clear is that Dvorak's writing has now sunk to a level such that it maintains only grammatical superiority to the output of the average slashdot troll. Although I must add that with his latest contribution, I feel I may be doing our resident troll population a disservice.
Is Dvorak even a commentator any longer? Frankly, it's becoming rather hard to tell; the man's headlines could just as easily be the titles of random crank bbs posts. "Apple should discontinue the Macintosh," "IBM is a doomed company," and now the almost incomparably über-trite "Apple to switch to x86!" I wonder, was his postulation of Itanium as Apple's choice CPU a tacit acknowledgement of the comical premise of the whole piece? After all, God knows that Apple has tons of headroom in Macintosh pricing at this point, so absorbing the obscene cost of Itanium hardware should be a piece of cake. Heck, who wouldn't go for an $8,000 iMac, right? Even Dvorak's bullshit threshold should've been tripped on that one, especially after the PPC 970 announcement. All of this is just further illustration of the extent to which Dvorak has decayed as an industry columnist. What's next, "BSD is dying?"
I'm sure that I speak for more than a few people when I say that I now read Dvorak for the same reason that one might read the Star or the Enquirer - purely for the entertainment value. It's been a very long time since I've read his work for anything else. But then again, I'm beginning to suspect that keeping us reading is the only point after all. Perhaps it's time to apply that classic Internet admonition to Dvorak's writing as well: don't feed the trolls.
Dvorak doesn't understand the "techie stuff," he just writes about it. If you mention words like "binary executable" around him, he just gets confused until you tell him, "you know, a program," at which point he will tell you how Apple, Microsoft and Red Hat are all secretly run by a consortium of lizard aliens from the Andromeda Galaxy, and plan to merge in order to take over the world Real Soon Now.
That's it. I'm no longer part of Team Sanity.
Dvorak will convert to Qwerty.
-- (Score:i, Imaginary)