US & Russia Pencil in Mars Launch by 2018

snilloc writes "The Washington Times is reporting that the US and Russia (and the Europeans are mentioned too) are planning for an eventual manned Mars trip. Suggested launch years are 2014 or 2018. The article discusses unmanned probes at greater length than the manned plans, but check out the Russian isolation experiment where 6 people will spend 500 days in a simulated spacecraft environment. (Sounds like a good reality TV show to me.)"

Comments

Huh?

[Fritz Benwalla]

What good is it sending a pencil to Mars?

Re:Huh?

[teamhasnoi]

And how is it we have to go halfsies with Russia? We can't afford our own pencil?

Re:Huh?

[arvindn]

That was meant as a joke of course, but pencils are useful things in space flights.

I don't know if this is an urban legend, but you can find it all over the web:

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 Celsius.

Confronted with the same problem, the Russians used a pencil.

Re:Huh?

[The Dobber]

Are we inviting the French along. Cause with thier recent performance, they are bound to get homesick and want to quit within the first 15 minutes of the trip.

Re:Huh?

[hoggoth]

> Besides wood is non-renewable resource.

Yeah, those wood drilling companies have to dig very deep into the Earth's crust to find new deposits of "wood".

I have discovered a genetically enhanced form of houseplant that actually produces "wood". I call it "tree". I think it will revolutionize the wood drilling industry.

Re:Huh?

[Bodrius]

Note that it is not just a pencil, it's a Russian pencil.

And then note that it is not Russia, it's just the pencil.

I'm having trouble imagining the negotiations:

NASA: Okay, Mr. Pencil, when do you think we can send our boys to Mars?
PENCIL: ...
NASA: Hmmm... I see. I guess we'll have to keep a flexible schedule then. But I'm assuming you have the technology to contribute, right?
PENCIL: ...
NASA: Damn it, you're a harsh negotiator, Pencil! We'll put in the rockets and all that, then. What kind of crew were you planning to send? ...

And then a couple of weeks later:

NASA: We're proud to announce that we have reached an agreement with a pencil to send a manned mission to Mars! This is a great victory in both space exploration and international relations, and disproves the theory that the US is acting alone in the world.

REPORTER: But what about the Europeans, or the Russians, or the Chinese? Why not join in a mission with them?

NASA: We were unable to reach an agreement with those powers due to their anti-American attitude. But the Pencil IS Russian, so I guess that counts.

REPORTER: What will be the composition of the crew?

NASA: We're counting on 6 crew members. It is unclear how many will be US astronauts and how many will be pencils. We know for sure the Russian Pencil is in, but we are in negotiations to include as many as 2 other of his pencil friends, as long as they can complete the training and physical examination in time...

Mars.

[grub]

Old hat. Douglas Quaid cleaned up Mars back in 1990. They have a thriving mining community, breathable atmosphere and leet alien artifacts.

2 light seconds..

[asmithmd1]

The size of our own galaxy is measured in hundreds of light years and the farthest we have gone off this little rock is the far side of the Moon, just a little over 2 light seconds away. It is embarrasing

Generate oxygen on their own??

[pphrdza]

From the article:

The participants, who will be given 3 tons of water and 5 tons of food, will undergo training on how to act in hazardous situations, the official said. Water and oxygen for the "flight" will be generated by means of the participants' own life processes.

I don't think I want to watch...

MARS NEEDS WOMEN!

[Guano_Jim]

From the article:


The six participants have not yet been chosen, and the selection process will be rigorous, Mr. Malashenkov went on, saying an all-male crew was likely.

Why not an all female crew? You could save a couple of kilos on the launch, and their energy requirements (i.e. food) are likely to be lower over the course of a long-term trip, since they don't have to maintain as much body mass.

Of course there's that whole Men are From Mars thing...

Re:MARS NEEDS WOMEN!

[Bodrius]

You could send in a trained monkey to actually handle the scientific part of the mission...

On the other hand, you better keep that monkey in a separate capsule. Unless you're targetting the really, really hardcore audience.

Well now...

[Mister Black]

Suggested launch years are 2014 or 2018.

I've checked my calendar and I'm free then. Sign me up.

Do not touch those pencils

[Mohammed Al-Sahaf]

Do not touch the pencils. It is a Zionist American trick. They are actually bombs.

The russian space training reality show:

[pibare]

Trainee: "Ivan ate all the sqeeze cheese
again!!!! ARggh!!"

Mission Control: "Comrades, comrades, keep
in mind, when you are in orbit of mars, we will
not be able to resupply you with
constant 'squeeze cheese'"

*dramatic music*

Voice Over: Next week find out who gets
voted out of the training pod and thrown out of
the air lock. Will it be Ivan with his insatiable
appetite for squeezable cheese? or will it be
Ivana and her insistance on leaving tampons in
the engineering section???

Breaking news...

[Znonymous Coward]

From the office of Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf (aka Baghdad Bob):

"There is no Mars! The red plannet does not exist! It is a trick by the coalition forces!"

More at 11.

What? No volunteers?

[jtheory]

I think it would be very difficult to live in tight quarters with 5 other people for almost a year and a half, floating through space on a mission that would bring back all kinds of info that will be useful for humankind. "Just another few months with these freaks", you could think, "and we'll have accomplished something great. When we get home I'll be famous, and I'll have a pickup line that no one else in the bar can hope to match!" Besides, once you've launched, you can't really change your mind, so you just focus on managing the stress.

Now imagine you're just one of the guinea pigs in the 500-day test. You're not going to be famous. You aren't exploring new frontiers. You're like a kid camping out in his backyard... except you promised your parent (Dr. and Mrs. Skinner?) that you wouldn't come inside for FIVE HUNDRED DAYS, even though you know that some days it's sunny outside the tent and you can hear the other kids playing in the park across the street. Sometimes a dog wanders by and urinates on the corner of the tent (days 3, 5, 16, 21, 23-twice, 28, 29...). Twice a day a scientist peers in through a porthole to see if you've cracked up yet. Can you imagine it? Wouldn't you just feel like you were pissing away a chunk of your life?

And just think -- to be realistic, their connection to the internet would start broadband, then go gradually down to dial-up and worse.... :)