Suing Telemarketers Made Simple

Lord of the Distinctive Rings writes "Telemarketer calls victim in wee hours. Victim is lawyer. Victim sues telemarketer. Hilarity ensues, as recounted in narrative replete with links and information on how you too can sue up the wazoo." Well, one's certainly not ever going to get rich or anything going after telemarketers on a one-off basis, but every bit helps, I think.

Comments

Keep em on the phone.

[amembrane]

I've had friends who have had to do this to make ends meet. The key to this business is speed, so if you really want to make it ineffective, keep them on the phone as long as possible. Doesn't matter to me, I haven't had a land line since the last millenium. =P

Re:Keep em on the phone.

[Erasmus Darwin]

I once did this with an automated recording. I discovered by chance that hitting '7' on my phone caused the recording to start over, so I spent a bored afternoon hitting 7 and tying up their system for a little over an hour. I was watching TV at the time, so pressing a button on the phone every minute or two wasn't that much of an inconvenience.

Re:Keep em on the phone.

[hipster_doofus]

Whenever a telemarketer calls me, I always keep them on the phone and use this fun script against them! It's generally a great time for me and everyone in my vicinity.

Re:Keep em on the phone.

[shachart]

Ohhhh.... This is soooo much more than just keeping one of them busy. In fact, you screw up their ENTIRE operation, even if they have 100's of telemarketers. Why? Explanation below:

In order to raise the productivity of their employees, they save them the time dialing, recognizing answering machine, ringing-and-ringing, busy signals, tone waiting etc.

How? The use these machines which are called predictive dialers. Why predictive, you ask? because they predict when the next agent will end her call, and based upon lots of parameters (call duration, busy signal rate by time of day, time to recognize voicemails etc.) - will place a call BEFORE that agent hangs up, so the moment she hangs up - she has the next call ready for her, with an actual person on the line.

Now, it is rather clear that if you hold just one agent on the line for a LONG time, then you screw every statistics the predictive dialer has, and so the agents lose sync with the dialer, and as a result - their productivity dives....

Which is what we wanted.

Re:Keep em on the phone.

[chrysrobyn]

That reminds me of the time my parent's answering machine got into an infinite loop with an autodialler. Somehow, the answering machine beep caused the spiel to restart and that spiel ended with a beep. That beep, I guess, was misinterpreted as an attempt to access the remote "check my messages" feature of the answering machine. The password failure resulted in the same beep. Which, if you see above, caused the spiel to restart -- and end with a beep.

The 60 minute tape was filled with the same spiel 60 times in a row with two beeps to seperate.

Sweet.

[Anonymous Coward]

Another reason for me to sit by the phone on a saturday night. I mean..... to bad I'll be out hanging with the ladies.

Ring....Please Ring..

Finally?

[jonjohnson]

It's about time people do something. Let me recall two funny incidents: Brother in-law: "Yes, Oh? I get something free? What's that? Oh that sounds great... What else can you guys offer me?"... (Ten minutes later)... "Well, can I talk to your supervisor? Thank you. .... Yes, I hear you have some great offers, but you see, Colorado has a no-call list and if you don't honor that ..." The hilarity of the situation was the fact that i'm sure they thought they had another sale, then it turns into another 20 minute lecture. The best transaction was from my stepfather, while my friends and I were watching a movie in the living room. "Hello? Umm... let me check. IS MR. HIND-ER-LITER HERE (pronounced incorrectly of course)?" (In another yelling voice, somewhat feminized this time, he replies to himself) "NO, HE'S NOT BACK FROM HIS PAROLE MEETING FOR KILLING THAT SALESMAN." (back to his voice) "OH, THAT'S RIGHT. No, I'm sorry, he can't come to the phone right now. Bye." Makes me wonder how much of these funny things do go on...

Yes! YES!!!!

[Shoten]

I, like the person who wrote the article, live in DC, and have been bothered by a pre-recorded telemarketer...in this case, a "non profit" that seems not to exist except as a front to accept donations. I'd elaborate more, but I'm off to the courthouse now...:)

Andy Rooney sez...

[TheArmageddonMan]

Three Little Words That Work !! (1)The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..." Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt. Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting. (2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end? This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home. What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Since doing this, my phone calls have decreased dramatically. (3) Another Good Idea: When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away. When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope. Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 37cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back. It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before! the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes. One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas. Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back! If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them. You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! Eventually, the banks and credit card companies will begin getting their own junk back in the mail. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice! Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea ! If enough people follow these tips, it will work---- I have been doing this for years, and I get very little junk mail anymore.

Re:Andy Rooney sez...

[ergonal]

If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.

I don't know how the system works where you live, but here a lot of "Reply Paid" stuff is barcoded and they could (theoretically) find out who you are by scanning that barcode.

Re:Andy Rooney sez...

[tmark]

"Hold On, Please..." Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately)

Actually, the *people* (as opposed to the companies) who make the telemarketing calls often *love* when people do this. It gets their talk time up; it shows their superiors that they're can keep someone on the phone for a long time, presumably talking about their product. I'd even bet the telemarketing companies (assuming they're hired by whoever is selling the product) like it too. The only party who doesn't like this is the company paying for telemarketing, but the telemarketers themselves often love it.

Re:Andy Rooney sez...

[LotusNailo]

Maybe so but talk time is up while sales are down. I don't think the company likes that very much.

Re:Andy Rooney sez...

[christopherfinke]

Actually, the *people* (as opposed to the companies) who make the telemarketing calls often *love* when people do this.

I worked as a telemarketer for a fairly large newspaper in southern Wisconsin during high school, and yes, I did love it when people would set the phone down and leave. It gave me more time to do my crossword puzzle, and I didn't even have to try selling a thirteen week subscription at our new low, low rate. Strangely enough, with this nose-to-the-grindstone work ethic, I was "let go" after about a month...

But seriously, telemarketers get paid a base rate per hour ($7.00 in my case), plus an hourly bonus based on how many sales he/she made. For example, if you made three sales in the 4pm-5pm hour, you would make $9.00 in that hour. If you consistently made six sales an hour, you would be making about $12.00 an hour. In my case, I wasn't bothered by people putting me on hold because I was still making over minimum wage, but without the hassle. I imagine people who do this full time wouldn't be pleased when people, such as me, play stupid games to keep them on the phone. I've been on the other side of the games, so I feel it's my duty to return the favor.

Still get calls?

[g(zerofunk.org)]

I was having a problem with calls at all hours of the day. I finally added the 'disconnected' tones to the first part of my answering machine message, which you can find from a google.com search, and since then I get maybe 2 calls a week rather then the 10 a day I used to get.
For anyone who wants to cut down on calls, without trying the approach of using the courts, I would higly suggest this method.
g

Must've been an AT-5000

[horati0]

"Greetings friend. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So use it. And send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don't delay! Eternal happiness is just a dollar away."

Re:Keep em on the phone - good idea!

[PHPee]

Keeping them on the phone is a good idea!

While reading these comments (at 9:15am), I got a call from an obvious telemarketer (couldn't pronounce my dad's name right...) so I decided to keep them on the phone, just to see how long they would actually wait (I'm unemployed, and living at home, so I've got nothing but time on my hands). I told her to hold on while I got my dad, and proceeded to just sit there listening. I didn't say another word for the entire 13 minutes and 42 seconds that the telemarketer actually waited for me to come back! I almost burst out laughing several times when I heard her sigh or start humming a little tune.

It brought a smile to my face on an otherwise boring, unemployed day of my life...

Useful resources for suing telemarketers.

[Seth Finklestein]

As a crusader for freedom on the internet, I believe strongly that unwanted calls are an avoidable nuisance. To help my fellow freedom fighters, I offer these links:

Suing Telemarketers without those sneaky lawyers taking your money!
Suing Telemarketers by Ben Livingston - they say he's crazy, but I say he's a hero!
Remove.org - you can add yourself to the global do not contact list to opt out of all advertisements!
SueTelemarketers.com - because they take away minutes of my free time when I'm trying to eat food, I invest hours of my free time trying to track down and sue telemarketers one by one.

That's all. Good night, and good luck!

Whatever ,troll

[mekkab]

I live in Rockville, and I constantly get calls from that handyman service.

Guess who I DON'T call when I need my gutters cleaned?!

Just because you run a business doesn't mean you are gauranteed to make money and not have honest efforts to plug your business backfire in your face. And if you ignore the laws governing your conduct don't be surprised when you get slapped.

Now I know your retort will be "well! The law code is so hard that the average person can't understand it and can't afford a lawyer to double check the legality of every action! WAAAAAAAA!"

My response? He just got a lesson in the law. And it only cost him $500.

Life isn't fair. Get a helmet and an unlisted number.

P.S.- The Washington Post had a great article on all the scam handymen in the region. So while you say actually works hard for that $500 I say he ripped off some old lady while cleaning her gutters and "reshingled" her roof. Both of our conjectures have one thing in common: there is no proof of either of them.

Re:How to identify 'Out of Area' on called id?

[Sounder40]

Absolutely, positively, answer these calls! Talk nicely to the poor dweeb on the other end of the line, and find out the name of the company. Politely refuse the offer. Then report them to the Federal Trade Commision (assuming you're in the states.) It is illegal. This will not necesarily produce an actionable case, but if you and your fellow pissed-off citizens do it enough, then they will get swatted.

claim you're "recording" them

[fudgefactor7]

I used to work for a telemarketing firm (yes, I'm still filled with self-loathing over it, thank you very much--you know, the scent never leaves?) and routinely we would record our calls (for verification)--standard procedure. If we ever called anyone and they said that they were going to record the conversation, we were under orders to terminate the call immediately and remove them from the calling list.

Worth a try, I've never used it because I only get calls that are just dead air...must be the Illuminati or something.

Telemarketers are easily confused.

[Ayandia]

Although he passed away six years ago, my home phone is still in my grandfather's name.

I frequently get marketing calls for my grandfather, and I've found that the BEST response is:
"I'm sorry, he's dead. Can I take a message?"

They very rarely leave messages, although one or two have asked when would be a better time call back.

"OUT OF AREA" Explained

[p.rican]

The telco is not blocking the caller ID information. Caller ID is not guaranteed to work out of what is called your 'LATA' (Local Access Transport Area) If you live in NY, your LATA number is 132 which covers all 5 boros of NYC, Westchester County(?), Long Island and a little piece of Greenwich CT. The caller ID information is stored in a database that's part of a separate packet network called SS7. Your telco provider makes a 'dip' or databse query into a CNAM database to get caller ID info based on the number that is calling/called. This SS7 network is used in setting up calls and tearing them down as well as a myriad of other features it can provide. If Caller ID was guaranteed to work across the country between every carrier in the US, the length of time it would take to setup a phone call would be prohibitively long...That's just the basic jist of it. You don't realize how much goes on from the time you pick up your handset, dial some digits and get audible ringing.. Hope that clarifies the situation for you. Please don't mod me down as GEEK

Method to deal with Junk Faxes.

[slappy_guru]

Wait until Friday afternoon:

1] If the return fax is an 800 # great!
2] If not make sure your fax # is on an unlimited long distance plan
3] Tape 3-4... 8.5 by 11 sheets together
4] Write on them "UNSOLICITED FAXING IS AGAINST FEDRAL LAW!!!!"
5] Feed into fax machine and tape the first sheet to the last sheet.
6] Program the return fax # into your fax.
7] Hit send key !!!
8] If you feel like it stop the call on Monday, unless you have already run the junk faxer out of paper and the call is already stopped!

Re:The best way to get rid of telemarketers.

[icebattle]

i give the phone to my three year-old. he can talk the hind leg off a donkey.