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Six Monkeys And An Old Saw
Sayten241 writes "They say that an infinite amount of monkeys typing at an infinite amount of typewriters will produce literature greater than Shakespeare. Well, it has been proven that six monkeys and one computer will produce a computer that has been smashed with a rock, urinated upon, and four pages worth of the letter 's.' The end of the article states that scientifically this does prove that monkeys are more complex than random generators."
That sounds remarkably like a development team I worked with once.
(easy joke, but necessary)
You don't even need 6 monkeys to get some of the comments that you get here on slashdot.
Hold up, wait a minute, let me put some pimpin in it
produce a computer that has been smashed with a rock, urinated upon, and four pages worth of the letter 's.'
Still more intelligent than the average slashdot poster...
I am not a number! I am a man! And don't you
"it was the best of times, it was the blurst of time"
You stupid Monkey!
p.s. FP?
Maybe they were just expressing their opinion?
ssssssss sssssssssss sss
Well it looks like it wasn't better writing then shakespeare's but I'm guessing it could qualify as code better then Microsoft's.
Check out my life
Anyone who's ever had to provide tech support for a large number of college students could have described most of this behavior. The only thing missing is beer spilled on the keyboard the night before a big essay is due.
The results of this experiment mean that the monkeys deserve one of those $20,000 federal arts grants. Looks like modern art!
(Remember the "artist" Serrano, who got paid $16,000 by Washington to drop a photo in a mayonnaise jar of his own urine).
Didn't they learn anything from Terry Gilliam?
"Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." - David Brent, Wernham Hogg
Duplicate articles, server crashes, misspellings...
Educated monkeys.
It still isn't Shakespeare.
I've always wanted to see how many monkeys and computers it would take to get one to produce Duke Nukem Forever. My guess is that the old Shakespear Rule would get us farther than 3D Realms have.
It's always interesting to see how science proves what probably anyone could have told you would happen if you put monkeys in a room with computers.
Who are we to judge poignant primates literature? They most certainly tried to write "Sleep dwell upon thy eyes, peace in thy breast.." but the "S" got stuck on the urine infested keyboard. I can only imagine their frustration.
--
We apologise for the inconvenience
"that six monkeys and one computer will produce a computer that has been smashed with a rock, urinated upon, and four pages worth of the letter 's.'"
So, it took six monkeys an entire month to accomplish the above.
I've seen some users that could probably do all that in the space of a few minutes -- obviously we're the more advanced species.
The stupid researchers gave us a lousy computer, waaaaaaay outdated to do anything. For example, one of my concubine wants to play the game Quake3, but that damned thing does not even have a GUI! Pffft..
So what are we suppose to do? We did what any human would do : we shit on it. Because, adding pieces of shit to a piece of shit is not going to make it look any less bad than it already is.
Btw, I posted this using lynx and a stupid 14.4 modem that my resident science chimp had managed to hook together (Thanks Baba!). We tried for First Post, but some idiot beat us to it.
Yours,
Able,
Alpha Male Monkey,
Plymouth.
Mode (3) smart-aleck mode. Press * to return to main menu.
But after a month, the Sulawesi crested macaques had only succeeded in partially destroying the machine, using it as a lavatory, and mostly typing the letter "s". ... And the RIAA is now investigating to see if the monkeys have traded any copyrighted music files.
It'll take for that computer to show up on ebay....
Performance science? Art experiment?
[Set Cain on fire and steal his lute.]
RFC2795
Also, bad redneck joke:
If you took an infinite number of rednecks and an infinite number of STOP signs and had them shoot at them with an infinite number of shotguns, would you eventually get a work of Shakespeare in Braille?
Heck, you didn't even need a finite number of monkeys. That "William Shakespeare" primate of yours was actually an ape, not a monkey.
And what does this prove? Why, your whole experiment's cocked up! There's a chance these "works of Shakespeare" are accurate, but it's much more likely that they're subtly off. Just blindfold one of your test subjects and have 'em pull letters out of a Scrabble bag. That'll show you. If they come up with something about the "Tagic trale of Jomeo and Ruliet, those two children of harring wouses" you'll know I was right.
Well, it has been proven that six monkeys and one computer will produce a computer that has been smashed with a rock, urinated upon, and four pages worth of the letter 's.'
The computer was never actually hacked... hmm cracked... err broken into... was not taken over by a human remote attacker with their own computer trying to gain unauthorized privaleges on the machine! So we have conclusivly proven that six monkeys are more effective than MSCAs at keeping a computer intact^H^H^Hsecure!
I stole this Sig
With back orifice installed on the machine. Would have to have timed it right, when no one would notice, but something like this...
Day 1: That stupid zookeeper really pisses me off, giving us a machine running windows. Sure, we're a few million years slow in evolving, but goddammed, we're not *that* stupid. And on a Packerd Bell, no less.
Day 2: From our cage, I could just barely see the zookeeper molesting the goats in the petting zoo again. Sick.
Day 3: Was afraid that they might catch on to me, but seems they are illiterate. The animal feeder must have pissed on the keyboard again, and you know damn well we'll get blamed for that one. Oh well, I managed to pick his pocket and grab the Visa card. Won't his wife be shocked when she sees the 12,000UKP bill for www.hotmansex.co.uk.
Day 4: Managed to scrounge up some weapons grade plutonium, but this machine isn't fast enough to simulate the H compression in the elliptical chamber. May have to do the math in the dirt with a piece of twig. Next on list: Think of a way to frame some arabs for the detonation.
http://www.cbc.ca/stories/2003/05/09/monkey_typis
My favorite lines:
You want the truthiness? You can't handle the truthiness!
The other day at work, I tried to defecate on my workstation, but I couldn't figure out how to undo my belt buckle. I wound up with an unpleasant package to tote home. My project manager was so displeased that she threw her feces at me, screamed, and beat at her chest before jumping into a tree and vanishing.
Then the president of our company came, shot us all with tranqulizer darts, and when I awoke, I found that had been neutered.
Oh the pitiful life of a software developer.
SSaSS SSfaSss SSS
sfssSa SfSSa SsSssSsSSS
SSs SSSSfS sSSSs sssSs aSSsf
SsaSs sSsgSSsrs SSreS aSSssSShS S
SSsSSsS
first monkey post!
"that's an awfully small data set"
Yeah, it wasn't even enough to determine whether they preferred vi or emacs. Or perhaps ed...
So they beat this thing with a rock, then pissed on it, and it still worked well enough to run a word processor? I want one of those. I looked an mine funny once and the hard drive exploded.
--I don't want the world, I just want your half.
The dominant monkey obviously saw the threat of technology, they saw what it'd done to the more advanced "hairless" apes, they just didnt want to expose themeselves to Itnernet sweepstakes, deals on sharp kitchen knives, penis growth shams etc..
We can learn something from this Monkey.. only problem is a basic rock would do little damage to the IBM Model M keyboard im using..
Damnit IBM, damnit all to hell!!
-- If at first you don't succeed, lie!
One thing's for sure - an infinite number of monkeys typing on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually produce Strunk and White's The Elements of Style
When I found over 20 gigs of pr0n on his computer, I was able to diagnose what was going on. And then I threw up.
This is my digital signature. 10011011001
- MbM
We wantssssssssss it.....it's oursssssssss.....our precioussssssssss......
Yeah, but only in base 13
It lives up to it's name: http://www.sanspoint.com
You just described 99.9999999% of all Blogs!!!
Just because you can mod me down, doesn't mean you're right. Shoes for industry!
What it REALLY shows us is that 6 monkeys make for an impressive security-audit team. After all, they determined how to secure a Windows machine: urine, and a rock.
Shame Microsoft clippy wasn't there to help them. "It looks like your writing the complete works of shakespeare"
Given an inifinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of typewriters, they will instantaneously produce the complete works of shakespeare, along with every other potential written work of the universe.
So doesn't that blow alway the concept of copyrights? Or is the RIAA going to go sue an infinite number of monkeys for an infinite ammount of money?
Interesting.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Less is more !