Homer: Here's good news! According to this eye-catching article, SAT scores are declining at a slower rate! Lisa: Dad, I think this paper is a flimsy hodgepodge of pie graphs, factoids and Larry King. Homer: Hey, this is the only paper in America that's not afraid to tell the truth, that everything is just fine.
Best Xbox hacking device
by
SharpFang
·
· Score: 5, Funny
The following is being offered free of charge to all those who feel the need to troll the Slashdot Games section. newsgroup. Please print out a copy and keep it with you at all times. If you follow these simple steps, you trolling is guaranteed to improve.
If a game is currently on PS2 and there are plans to bring it out on the Xbox, make sure to claim that no one will want to play that game by the time it gets to the Xbox. For example, by the time Virtua Fighter 4/GTA3 comes to the Xbox, we'll all be playing something new.
Use the reverse logic if it is a game only on the Xbox that may be ported to other systems/PC later. Case in point, Halo. Say something to the effect of "I'll wait for the true version of Halo on the PC". "It will be much better than the Xbox version".
Constantly complain about FPS on consoles ACCEPT for Goldeneye.
Always use Bill Gates name. Act as if he is the one making the games. By all means, if you run out of clever or interesting things to troll about, just bring up Mr Gates. Lots of people hate him and will be glad to agree with you.
Complain about the XBox controller. Even if you have never seen or used it, it won't matter. People will believe you when you say it's big. Be sure and try to provide a testimonial about your wife or girlfriend or kid who complains about the size of it. Also claiming to be injured by the controller can be the foundation of a great troll post.
When referring to the Xbox, try to scew the name a bit. Xblox, eggs bocks, the stupider the name, the more favorable of a response you will get.
Be sure and mention Japanese and European sales numbers. If you aren't sure what those sales numbers are, go ahead and make something up. Estimate low, most people will believe you.
Although Xbox owners seem to enjoy there games, make sure to comment on Xbox not having any games with good gameplay. Although the Xbox does share some ports with PS2 and Gamecube, it's okay to assume that the Xbox version of those ports has poor gameplay as well.
Since the Xbox has nice graphics, be sure and find a way to put a negative spin on this. Using the age old formula that states if a game has nice graphics, it must have terrible gameplay, you can convince people that Xbox games are all tech demos.
Defective Xbox stories are excellent to use in trolling. The best part is that they require no proof. I find that "the screen just froze up" works great. Occasionally you can use something really bizarre like "My friend bought an Xbox and it caught on fire and burned down there house. Now they are homeless. F*** Bill Gates."
When all else fails, lie. There are lots of people who will agree with you just because they hate MS.
Re:X-Box Troll Handbook
by
Psychor
·
· Score: 5, Funny
I bought an Xblox the other day, and I wish I hadn't. I guess the poor sales number should have warned me (since they only sold 3000 EggsBlockses in Europe, and 12 in Japan). I don't know what Bill Gates was thinking when he designed the controller, but it really hurts my hands. It's way too big!
I was playing a game with it once, and it started vibrating, jumped right out of my hands, and severely wounded a small child. Also, it's strained my fingers so much, I'm starting to have problems 'viewing' my Natalie Portman image collection! I'm going to sue Bill Gates!
Sure, some of the games may have nice graphics, but the gameplay is absolutely shocking. I tried to play Halo, but it's nothing but a tech demo! You may not believe this, but it's actually impossible to shoot! I played for five minutes, and couldn't kill anything at all, so I took the game back to the shop. It has nothing on Goldeneye. I'm going to wait for the PC version, which should be much better.
Also, my son really wanted me to buy a console, so that he could play GTA3, so imagine my surprise when I found out it was not yet released on the Xbox! He had to undergo therapy for several weeks - but I'll get the money back from Bill Gates when I sue him.
I'm going to sell my XSocks on Ebay now. It'll probably cost me a lot in shipping, because it's really heavy. Bill Gates designed it that way, because he likes to hit immigrants over the head with his. I'll never buy another M$ product!
3. Constantly complain about FPS on consoles ACCEPT for Goldeneye.
8. Although Xbox owners seem to enjoy there games, make sure...
Of course no troll is complete without bad spelling and grammar.
this is the subject line
by
deadsaijinx*
·
· Score: 4, Funny
1) sell at great loss to undercut competition 2) still not beat competition 3) ??? 4) total domination and billions of $$$
i REEEEAALLLY wish i knew step 3
-- YOU SUCK BALLS!
Healthy competition
by
TrekkieGod
·
· Score: 2, Funny
On the same page as the article explaining how you can have a really compact PC for $336 by modding the x-box is an advertisement for Dell computers with free shipping.
That gets me thinking...maybe Microsoft needs to abandon the whole losing money on the xbox to compete with the playstation 2 strategy and start charging more for it and advertise the modding--and compete with companies such as Dell and Gateway:)
"We're very committed to respecting the intellectual property rights of others" said J. Allard from Microsoft.
This guy must be a new hire who skipped employee orientation or something. Did anyone else feel the need to laugh when they read that?
-- Beep beep.
I can just see it now
by
Timesprout
·
· Score: 5, Funny
in 10 years when Redhat has achieved total domination and released their new home entertainment system there will be a rush to see who will be the first to port win2010 to it and then posting to cfullcolon to brag about their l33t skillz and demanding the right to be allowed install the home entertainment systems as their car stereo if they so choose without being forced to make their car available to anyone who wants to drive it under the terms of the new Redhat GPL
-- Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth What truth? There is no dupe
Re:Hmm, a troll about trolling.
by
TheNetAvenger
·
· Score: 2, Funny
Since we are policing grammar, should I point out the mistakes in your post as well?
Maybe I can start with the fragmented sentence or the incorrect comma usage?
Intelligence without tolerance is the ultimate oxymoron. - Unknown TheNetAvenger
'box?!?! 'box?!?! C'mon! You're only contracting one freakin' letter! And come to think of it, by replacing the uppercase "X" with an apostrophe, you're not even saving yourself any keystrokes! =)
</anal>
-- "Yeah, well, Dracula called and he's coming over tonight for you and I said okay."
Slashdot Mirror
From USA Today? USA... friggin... Today?
Something like this
45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B2
Yeah, $336 is nice for a PC and all, now if it can just be hacked to play video games, I'm sold!!
We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
By all means, if you run out of clever or interesting things to troll about, just bring up Mr Gates. Lots of people hate him and will be glad to agree with you.
1) sell at great loss to undercut competition
2) still not beat competition
3) ???
4) total domination and billions of $$$
i REEEEAALLLY wish i knew step 3
YOU SUCK BALLS!
On the same page as the article explaining how you can have a really compact PC for $336 by modding the x-box is an advertisement for Dell computers with free shipping.
That gets me thinking...maybe Microsoft needs to abandon the whole losing money on the xbox to compete with the playstation 2 strategy and start charging more for it and advertise the modding--and compete with companies such as Dell and Gateway :)
Warning: Opinions known to be heavily biased.
The irony is that although Microsoft sell you the hardware, you still can't run Windows* on it, just Linux.
:o)
Nice to see that Microsoft are taking the whole antitrust thing seriously and rolling out subsidised Linux based terminals
*Yes, except for the cut down version of the 2K kernel it ships with, I know.
Beep beep.
"We're very committed to respecting the intellectual property rights of others" said J. Allard from Microsoft.
This guy must be a new hire who skipped employee orientation or something. Did anyone else feel the need to laugh when they read that?
Beep beep.
in 10 years when Redhat has achieved total domination and released their new home entertainment system there will be a rush to see who will be the first to port win2010 to it and then posting to cfullcolon to brag about their l33t skillz and demanding the right to be allowed install the home entertainment systems as their car stereo if they so choose without being forced to make their car available to anyone who wants to drive it under the terms of the new Redhat GPL
Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
What truth?
There is no dupe
Since we are policing grammar, should I point out the mistakes in your post as well?
Maybe I can start with the fragmented sentence or the incorrect comma usage?
Intelligence without tolerance is the ultimate oxymoron. - Unknown
TheNetAvenger
The heck with the Xbox PC, I'm getting me some Xbox Sized fries!
Viola is an instrument.
"Viola" is also Spanish for "he rapes", as in raping Microsoft for $100 when buying an Xbox console.
Will I retire or break 10K?
'box?!?! 'box?!?! C'mon! You're only contracting one freakin' letter! And come to think of it, by replacing the uppercase "X" with an apostrophe, you're not even saving yourself any keystrokes! =)
</anal>
"Yeah, well, Dracula called and he's coming over tonight for you and I said okay."