Have You Seen This Segway?

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Posted by ryuzaki0 on Tuesday May 20, 2003 @08:25AM from the lock-should-weigh-as-much-as-the-bike dept.

Kringle writes "An April 28th theft of a Segway from a home in Kent, Washington appears to be the first of its kind. The Smoking Gun has a copy of the police report. The good news is that the thief didn't get the keys and is lugging around a big paperweight. No word yet from the Grand Theft Auto team about including a Segway in their next game release."

14 of 503 comments (clear)

Finally.. by Anonymous Coward · 2003-05-20 08:26 · Score: 5, Funny

someone got one at a decent price!
Gee! by zuggy · 2003-05-20 08:27 · Score: 5, Funny

What a drag!
Steal a Segway? by Tackhead · 2003-05-20 08:28 · Score: 5, Funny

Why, for the love of God, why?
Lame by uprightcitizen · 2003-05-20 08:28 · Score: 5, Funny

Had the thief gotten the keys, it would be funny to watch the getaway. He's speeding 11 MPH from the scene of the crime laughing nefariously. Hmm... very frightening.
1. Re:Lame by MarkGriz · 2003-05-20 08:45 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  It would be funnier if the police has Segway's too. Perhaps they would have modified ones that could go 15 MPH.
  
  Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George had one of those motorized scooters, and was being chased by a gang of elderly people, also on scooters, at about 3 MPH.
  
  --
  Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
For that matter... by inertia187 · 2003-05-20 08:29 · Score: 5, Funny

No word yet from the Grand Theft Auto team about including a Segway in their next game release.

No word yet from the Paperboy team, either.

--
A programmer is a machine for converting coffee into code.
Wanted to Buy by SubtleNuance · 2003-05-20 08:30 · Score: 5, Funny

I would be interested in buying a used Segway if anyone knows where I might be able to get one.. wink wink
Re:It's as good as gone by nanojath · 2003-05-20 08:34 · Score: 5, Funny

Ermmm... but stealing BMWs makes sense. It's the summer's new blockbuster - Gone in 60 Minutes

--
It Is the Nature of Information to Transgress Artificial Boundaries
Segway Theft Rates by sulli · 2003-05-20 08:36 · Score: 5, Funny

Update: Statistics now show that 25% of all Segways have been stolen.

--

sulli
RTFJ.
Police should be on the lookout . . . by UnknowingFool · 2003-05-20 08:38 · Score: 5, Funny

for a low-rider Segway with under-body neon lights, a huge spoiler, and plastered with all sorts of Chinese ideograms

--
Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
consequences... by Tumbleweed · 2003-05-20 08:41 · Score: 5, Funny

Yeah, and imagine telling the other inmates what you're in for. Reminds me of the Serta mattress "counting sheep" commercial where they're tossed in jail for ripping off the 'do not remove' tag from a mattress.

"What're you in for?"

"Oh, we were caught rip" "RIPPING A MAN TO PIECES!"

---

"What're you in for?"

"Oh, I got caught stealing a seg.....ment of a man's intestines...right outta his body...with my bare hands! While he watched!"

Oh yeah, hard time in the big house for this one...

I'd love to see the look on the judge's face if this guy is ever brought to trial. "You stole a _what_?!"
Re:In related news... by Vampyre_Dark · 2003-05-20 08:42 · Score: 5, Funny

Simple enough, it was the same guy. He needed a coat rack and a coaster.
Rumor has it that.... by GeneralEmergency · 2003-05-20 09:01 · Score: 5, Funny

...it's already down in the 'hood and it's been repainted and lowered.

Tonight, they're going to take it out for a whirr-by shooting.

--
"A microprocessor... is a terrible thing to waste." --
GeneralEmergency
Re:Priorities? by American+AC+in+Paris · 2003-05-20 09:04 · Score: 5, Funny

911? IIRC, that's that newfangled emergency number. You know, for emergencies. Like heart attacks and SARS.
SARS. Indeed.
Operator: "911, please state your emergency."
Caller: "(garbled) please help! There's (garbled) with SARS, and (garbled) me!
Operator: "Ma'am, you need to calm down. Please repeat what you just said."
Caller: "There's a MAN with SARS, and he's coming towards--oh, Jesus God--"
Operator: "All right, ma'am, you need to tell me where you are right now. Is he threatening you with the SARS?"
Caller (whispering): "He's right there...I don't know if he can--oh, no, no, NO! GO AWAY! PLEASE! DON'T--"
Operator: "Ma'am? Ma'am? We've traced your location, and a unit is on the way. We need you to stay right where you are. Ma'am?"

--
Obliteracy: Words with explosions