Have You Seen This Segway?

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Posted by ryuzaki0 on Tuesday May 20, 2003 @08:25AM from the lock-should-weigh-as-much-as-the-bike dept.

Kringle writes "An April 28th theft of a Segway from a home in Kent, Washington appears to be the first of its kind. The Smoking Gun has a copy of the police report. The good news is that the thief didn't get the keys and is lugging around a big paperweight. No word yet from the Grand Theft Auto team about including a Segway in their next game release."

19 of 503 comments (clear)

Finally.. by Anonymous Coward · 2003-05-20 08:26 · Score: 5, Funny

someone got one at a decent price!
Gee! by zuggy · 2003-05-20 08:27 · Score: 5, Funny

What a drag!
Steal a Segway? by Tackhead · 2003-05-20 08:28 · Score: 5, Funny

Why, for the love of God, why?
Lame by uprightcitizen · 2003-05-20 08:28 · Score: 5, Funny

Had the thief gotten the keys, it would be funny to watch the getaway. He's speeding 11 MPH from the scene of the crime laughing nefariously. Hmm... very frightening.
1. Re:Lame by MarkGriz · 2003-05-20 08:45 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  It would be funnier if the police has Segway's too. Perhaps they would have modified ones that could go 15 MPH.
  
  Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George had one of those motorized scooters, and was being chased by a gang of elderly people, also on scooters, at about 3 MPH.
  
  --
  Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
For that matter... by inertia187 · 2003-05-20 08:29 · Score: 5, Funny

No word yet from the Grand Theft Auto team about including a Segway in their next game release.

No word yet from the Paperboy team, either.

--
A programmer is a machine for converting coffee into code.
It's as good as gone by CptChipJew · 2003-05-20 08:29 · Score: 5, Insightful

"Theres no way they can hot wire it."

BMW used to say that too. Thieves are better at these things than most people think they are.

--
Vonal Declosion
1. Re:It's as good as gone by nanojath · 2003-05-20 08:34 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Ermmm... but stealing BMWs makes sense. It's the summer's new blockbuster - Gone in 60 Minutes
  
  --
  It Is the Nature of Information to Transgress Artificial Boundaries
Wanted to Buy by SubtleNuance · 2003-05-20 08:30 · Score: 5, Funny

I would be interested in buying a used Segway if anyone knows where I might be able to get one.. wink wink
Segway Theft Rates by sulli · 2003-05-20 08:36 · Score: 5, Funny

Update: Statistics now show that 25% of all Segways have been stolen.

--

sulli
RTFJ.
an Ebay seller will deliver his new one now. by rdewald · 2003-05-20 08:38 · Score: 5, Interesting

For grins, I searched EBay and found out that the gent that lost this one can get another one, deliverable immediately, for $5500.

Why? That is another question. I was almost run over by one of these things on the sidewalk in Manhattan the other day. Mr. UpperWestSide Yuppie was navigating the sidewalk, including the wheelchair cut-outs at intersections with some aplomb, but I really had to suppress an urge to just knock him off the damn thing.

I can only pray that they don't figure out a way to build and market a Segway stroller. Oh my God, the thought just makes me shudder. GPS, 802.11g web nanny-cam....the horror, the horror.

--
The best way to do is to be.
Police should be on the lookout . . . by UnknowingFool · 2003-05-20 08:38 · Score: 5, Funny

for a low-rider Segway with under-body neon lights, a huge spoiler, and plastered with all sorts of Chinese ideograms

--
Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
consequences... by Tumbleweed · 2003-05-20 08:41 · Score: 5, Funny

Yeah, and imagine telling the other inmates what you're in for. Reminds me of the Serta mattress "counting sheep" commercial where they're tossed in jail for ripping off the 'do not remove' tag from a mattress.

"What're you in for?"

"Oh, we were caught rip" "RIPPING A MAN TO PIECES!"

---

"What're you in for?"

"Oh, I got caught stealing a seg.....ment of a man's intestines...right outta his body...with my bare hands! While he watched!"

Oh yeah, hard time in the big house for this one...

I'd love to see the look on the judge's face if this guy is ever brought to trial. "You stole a _what_?!"
Re:In related news... by Vampyre_Dark · 2003-05-20 08:42 · Score: 5, Funny

Simple enough, it was the same guy. He needed a coat rack and a coaster.
Re:Think about it, by EvilSporkMan · 2003-05-20 08:43 · Score: 5, Informative

The Segway verifies that the key's code matches a code stored in the Segway, they are encoded with each code used once per million Segways, so the odds are really small that even your buddy's keys would activate another Segway. By the way, there are 3 keys, each activating a different max speed. (Source for all this: guy came to school to demo the Segway =D )

--
-insert a witty something-
Rumor has it that.... by GeneralEmergency · 2003-05-20 09:01 · Score: 5, Funny

...it's already down in the 'hood and it's been repainted and lowered.

Tonight, they're going to take it out for a whirr-by shooting.

--
"A microprocessor... is a terrible thing to waste." --
GeneralEmergency
Re:Priorities? by American+AC+in+Paris · 2003-05-20 09:04 · Score: 5, Funny

911? IIRC, that's that newfangled emergency number. You know, for emergencies. Like heart attacks and SARS.
SARS. Indeed.
Operator: "911, please state your emergency."
Caller: "(garbled) please help! There's (garbled) with SARS, and (garbled) me!
Operator: "Ma'am, you need to calm down. Please repeat what you just said."
Caller: "There's a MAN with SARS, and he's coming towards--oh, Jesus God--"
Operator: "All right, ma'am, you need to tell me where you are right now. Is he threatening you with the SARS?"
Caller (whispering): "He's right there...I don't know if he can--oh, no, no, NO! GO AWAY! PLEASE! DON'T--"
Operator: "Ma'am? Ma'am? We've traced your location, and a unit is on the way. We need you to stay right where you are. Ma'am?"

--
Obliteracy: Words with explosions
Re:insurance? by jsprat · 2003-05-20 09:14 · Score: 5, Informative

I heard an interview with this guy on a local radio station here in Seattle.
His homeowner's policy wants his auto insurance to pay for it, his auto insurance wants his homeowner's to pay for it - Catch 22.
He's fed up with the whole thing, so he just wants to pay a $300 reward (no questions asked) for his Segway's return. He even said during the interview that the thieves just needs to tell him that they found it in the bushes.
Re:Segway Rant by ptorrone · 2003-05-20 09:24 · Score: 5, Insightful

i have a bike, but i use my segway more now. i need to be dressed up and my work place does not have a shower, so for me riding a bike is for fun- not commuting. the segway ht didn't replace walking either, it replaced my car. sitting in a car for me is lazy and expensive, i've saved over $600 per month since i went to using my segway ht for most of my trips. i exercise more now than i ever did, mostly because i have more time and i'm not sitting in traffic. if you're interested you can read about it here.http://www.bookofseg.com/100days/

find something better that works -for me- and i'll gladly try it. don't just say everyone should use a bicycle.

cheers,
pt