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Chimps Belong in Human Genus?
Bradley Chapman writes "I found this interesting story from Discovery News about our ties with chimpanzees. Excerpts: 'Chimpanzees share 99.4 percent of functionally important DNA with humans and belong in our genus, Homo, according to a recent genetic study.
Scientists analyzed 97 human genes, along with comparable sequences from chimps, gorillas, orangutans and Old World monkeys (a group that includes baboons and macaques). The researchers then took the DNA data and estimated genetic evolution over time. They determined that humans and chimps shared a common ancestor between 4 and 7 million years ago. That ancestor diverged from gorillas 6 to 7 million years ago.'" Genus is the next step up from species, if you recall your taxonomy. Humans are the only living species in genus homo, currently.
The repulicans will like this... Another 50 million that pay taxes... Oh, "taxonomy" is something else... sorry!
But that on the condition that i can downgrade some humans to monkey.
All Troll + "offtopic" mods are meta moderated as "Unfair", because you abused the system.
I think Senator Santorum needs to open an investigation into whether public tax money is being spent researching Homo chimps.
I've often wondered if some of the people I see driving on the freeway belong in the Human Genus, based purely on their lack of motor ability. If those people can make into that classification then surely our furry, feces-throwing relatives can make it. (I'm talking about the chimps, here.)
All over North America, greasy rednecks with pimpish moustaches and long mullets are saying "What 're them scientist-types saying? They're calling me "homo"? I'm gonna kick all their asses."
Trolling is a art,
Goodman added, "In terms of culture, social behavior, language and other factors, we share many things in common with chimpanzees."
There was a guy at a nursing home I worked at that would throw poop at the staff.
First they discover that fish can feel pain - and now this! Damn science! What am I supposed to eat?
to see if they can make babies?
are you signing up for the experiment?
"Question with boldness even the existence of a god." - Thomas Jefferson
Humans are the only living species in genus homo, currently.
If we are the only species, that would make us "homo genus".
People who disagree with you are not automatically evil, greedy, or stupid.
Why not put them in the same Genus as us? They've had just as much time to evolve.
Clearly, we made better use of that time than they did. They slacked off instead of evolving, so they don't get to be in the same rank.
I don't get this desire to uplift losers with false titles designed to boost the self esteem of those who fell behind.
Of course now with Hollywood and TV causing humans to devolve, the Chimps will have a chance to catch up.
"Live Free or Die." Don't like it? Then keep out of the USA
Did you just call my chimp gay? Cause that really pisses him off.
Now the shits gunna fly!
sin(6cos(r)+5A)
Does anybody else find this repetitive and redundant?
It should have been edited to "Humans are the only living extant species in the genus Homo, currently at this time."
"Obviously, I'm not an IBM computer any more than I'm an ashtray" (Bob Dylan)
This is especially true where I work, People here havent even evolved TOO chimps
5 million years apart and we still fling our poo at eachother...
I think i see how we're 99.4% alike...
Nonsense, the human brain is at the pinical of evolution. Not only that, it has transcended evolution - we can now alter evolution and use it as a computer algorithm.
It's about time the human race realised it is in _charge_ of its own destiny, and while nature is a powerful force, the concious mind is the greatest known thing on the planet. It should be developed and nurtured.
I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar.
Joey: If the Homosapiens were, in fact, "Homo-sapien", is that why they're extinct?
Ross: Joey, Homosapiens are people.
Joey: Hey, I'm not judging.
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OTOH, Bubbles feels violated.
oh brave new world, that has such people in it!
oooo oooeee eeeeoooo oooo
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one " -Albert Einstein
And in other news, the Chimpanzee World Spokesman, uu uu waaa uuu u, says they want no part of any "tree" that has humans in it, thank you very much, and, besides, it's against THEIR religion to believe that humans evolved from Chimps. Especially the ones with fake hair.
REAL:..........MNEMONIC:
Phylum.........Please
Class...........Come
Order..........Over
Family..........For
Genus..........Gay
Species........Sex
Thanks to Robert Smigel (his cartoons) and Saturday Night Live!
From the article: "Imagine taking the hand of your grandmother, who was holding the hand of her grandmother and so on down the line. 155 miles out, one of the women would be holding the hand of a chimpanzee."
If you'd met my family you'd know that a line round the block would pretty much get you there.
> They also are willing to interbreed.
And you're saying that mice and humans aren't?
Do daemons dream of electric sleep()?
Do you *know* humans and chimps can't interbreed? Have you *tried?*
We share 50% of our DNA with lettuce - that's how common much of our genetic code is on the planet.
Last time I checked, nobody was comparing the salad aisle of the supermarket for long-lost relatives.
"Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." - David Brent, Wernham Hogg
Karma Points Come Only For Geeky Slashdotters
(Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species)
Does this mean I can eat a chimp and indulge in 99.4% cannibalism?
Having seen the lack of selectiveness in sexual matters exhibited by Bonobo chimps, calling them 'Homos' would seem to work on several levels.
Cheers, Paul
(Disclaimer: This isn't a phrase I like or normally use, just required for the purposes of this joke, until I had to qualify it, when the joke kind of died...)
Scientists then discovered that Apes have a 100% DNA match with Vin Diesel.
Vonal Declosion
that'll be fun. "you seem to be 96% human. you get 96% of a vote in the next elections."
Please no...how would the Florida elections turn out with that in the mix?
Or from the electronics geeks, for resistor values: Bad Boys Rape Our Young Girls But Violet Gives Willingly. (Black 0, Brown 1, Red 2, Orange 3, Yellow 4, Green 5, Blue 6, Violet 7, Grey 8, White 9).
Boy did my HS Physics teacher get some weird looks for that mnemonic.
Get off my lawn.
And a bunch of monkeys with typewriters made this website to boot! You just can't ask them to write Shakespeare.
That's Bigboo TAY! TAY!
Chimps have had 4-7 million years since we split from a common ancestor (according to the article) and they're still swinging in trees.
You're right, the chimps are definitely the smarter ones here.
I like my women like my coffee... pale and bitter.
Come on, be more generous. If we don't include even them in the human genome, what chance does Bush stand???
Daniel
Carpe Diem
They only eat fruits and nuts
And after all, you are what you eat.
"Yeah.. When monkeys fly out of my butt!"
The question is, if the creator of humans used 99.4% of the code lifted straight from the apes... is it a large enough difference so it would not be considered violation of Intellectual Property rights?
Does SCO own the rights, and is it just a plan to lure IBM into buying humanity for a huge profit for the current SCO owners?
Or is this a Microsoft plot to buy the rights to the humans, copyright the genome and send pirate hunters to track license violators.
- Will they insert a product activation code into all new humans created, where the child stops functioning if not registered.
- Will they include new bugs and get the new humans bloated (wait...)
- Will we be equipped with a Start button? (:
- Will the newborns cry "bling BLING bling BLINGGG" instead of "WAAAAH!" with their first breath?
- Will the new children make secret phonecalls to Microsoft telling on their parents?
- How will copy protection work? Chastity belts?
And will the open source movement provide an alternative with fresh code not depending on any components of the human genome?
You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! God damn you all to hell!!
Never fight naked, unless you're in prison...
I have an uncle who stroked out. He's a vegetable!
The REAL jabber has the user id: 13196
What you do today will cost you a day of your life
I'm sick of all these wrong evolution theories so I'm gonna tell what really happened.
Let's set up the scene with some background information (it'll be short, I promise).
So there was Adam and Eve and they chilled in Heaven just minding their own business. (We're skipping the whole "On the first day" story because you already know about that.) So the Lord told Adam, "Don't eat the fruit of this tree or you'll croak. And tell your wife."
So Adam goes and tells his wife, "See that tree over there? Don't eat its fruit. In fact, don't even go near the damn thing; Pappy said if you touch it, you'll croak."
So Eve is chillin' when this serpant comes around and says, "Pssst... See that tree over there? Eat its fruit! It's good!"
So Eve says, "But if I even touch that tree, I'll croak!"
So the serpant says, "Nuh uh! See, I'll touch it... Nothing happens!"
Seeing this, Eve gathers a little bit of courage, goes up and touches the tree... Nothing happened. So she grabs a big juicy naranja off the tree, peels it and takes a taste. Mmmmm! Then Adam comes over and sees what's going on... "What the fsck, Eve, I thought I told you not to touch that tree!"
And Eve says, "But you see, I did touch it and nothing happened!"
So Adam takes a taste. Then, the Lord's voice comes booming over the public address system, "I told you kids not to eat that damn fruit!!!" Adam and Eve grab a leaf or something to cover up their privates, see, because they suddenly realized they were naked, and the Lord drove them out of heaven in his red '64 Chevy II.
So here they are, on Earth now, and they have a couple of kids... One of 'em kills the other and is subsequently punished by being forced to forever roam the Earth with a Windows logo tatooed on his forehead.
Now just so you understand, the Lord created a bunch of animals, like fish and tigers and whatever, and then He created people. The people he created were special... Much more intelligent than animals by a far measure. Much more intelligent than any person alive today. They were "superhumans." Now this hermano with the Windows logo on his forehead walks around and screws every chimp and gorilla and baboon in sight. (Yeah, I know, that's gross.) His superhuman genes mixed with their animal genes and created some "middle-of-the-road" creature.
That's the human being of today... It's why many of our genes are similar to those of the animals. I know all of this for a fact and I have undeniable proof: On separate occasions, two different people, who do not know each other, both told me they heard this somewhere.
Hmm, I think I've met a few of the humans in the 99.9% range...