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Office-Hour Habits of the North American Professor
An anonymous reader writes "For those of you who wonder just exactly what it is that your advisor is up to when you try to find him and meet with him, The Chronicle of Higher Education has a study on the
Office-Hour Habits of the North American Professor."
I can't wait to see the documentary of the North American Professor on the Discovery Channel, even though it would probably be the most boring thing ever aired.
When you don't have a leg to stand on, don't even get up.
I've known quite a few Early Birds during my tenure as a student, and upon accusing any of them of this practice, I have in every case been met with a grin of non-denial.
The Active Techophile. This variety of faculty member, usually an Assistant Professor early in their career, tends to enjoy the pleasures of technology during her or his office hours: browsing the net, casually searching for the latest online manuscripts, and, most critically, engaging his or her fellow Assistant Professors in hardcore LAN gaming. Students tend to like the Active Technophile, as he they sympathize with her or his interests, but they seldom interact except for periodic fragging.
We've got here a fine specimen of the North American Professor! He's a feisty little one, so you better stay back.
Hey little fella, hey there... AGH! CRIKEY! HE'S GRADING ME TERM PAPER!
No, seriously folks, I'll be here all week. Thank you, no, thank you.
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I loved office hours. It was when I knew I had uninterrupted time for pleasure reading. The only time the students would show up was around midterms and during the last two weeks of classes. For the most part, it was a nice block of uninterrupted time.
These are never in their office, even during office hours. Occasionally they tape a piece of paper to their door politely explaining where they are, which is always nowhere within reach. They are likely to have a couple of chairs outside their office with boxes for delivering and picking up homework. They are never available immediately after class; the only way of contacting them is through e-mail, which they discourage for long-winded homework questions. On the rare occasion when one actually manages to catch one of these in person, there is nothing actually unpleasant about them, indeed they are often very amiable. They benignly take no notice at all of their unavailability, and gently manage to teach their students the art of complete reliance on textbooks and classmates.
The coolest voice ever.
We finally got some webcams set up so we could see his parking spot and the desk he likes to work at. For a bit we had one in his actual office. And it's _still_ impossible to track him down...
That's the theory, anyway. During the last term I came to the conclusion that my supervisor was actually fictional, and the department was drawing a salary from the university to fund some kind of secret project (probably involving alcohol in some way). Eventually I suggested to the Dean of Science that he (my supervisor) should be electronically tagged. This idea was not met with nearly as much scepticism as I had expected...
I am TheRaven on Soylent News
Anything is better than the fsck'ing psycho next door to my office. This idiot lives in there (no shit), and his department chair knows it. (No he's not a grad student, he's a tenured Math prof). No one from his department wants to do anything about it, though my advisor and I have reported it several times.
He bathes (reportedly) late at night in the bathroom, and is constantly seen at all hours of the day and night cutting veggies in the sink, making food in the department, etc. The moron thinks he's being clever and no one knows.
$5 says you'll be reading about him in the papers some day. Thank God I'm leaving this summer. Dr. Spooky is just too much for me anymore.
Between the Door Closer and the Counselor, he neglected to mention the quantum physics prof who believes that his door is simultaneously open and closed.
The Senile Tenured actually are in their office during their declared office hours, and often for most of the day, sometimes including when they should be in class. Often, when a student comes in with a question, they will begin answering, but trail off into a rambling story, then forget what the student asked (this behavior is often also seen during lectures). Sometimes they will ask students what their opinion is of the class, but remind them that they probably won't remember what they said after they leave. And they usually don't.
When I was in physics college back in the 80's my professor wrote a computer program in which he plugged in all of his students class hours, and with a few seconds the program would generate his office hours precisely when his students would be least likely to be able to attend without missing their other classes. I actually saw him plug this data in his computer and laugh. Planet P Blog
www.enthea.org
You: Anything? : Would you...
...paint my house?
Her: ANYthing!
You (in a whisper, close to her ear)
(Pause. Look nervously around for observers.)
DT
Is this thing on? Hello?