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Mission to Harpoon Comet is Back on Track
An anonymous reader writes "The Rosetta mission planners have announced today that after an indefinite launch delay earlier this year, their goal of landing on a comet is back on track. Their new baseline target is a rendezvous with the comet, Churyumov-Gerasimenko, in November 2014. En route to the comet, Rosetta will inspect two asteroids (Otawara and Siwa) at close quarters."
... and send the comet crashing into the earth, Lori Petty will rescue Naomi Watts, and they will fight against Malcolm McDowell and save us all from Water and Power!
I think I need to turn off the TV and go outside now...
Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
one foot is 0.3049m
What?
The Earth is ACELLERATING at 1,500 kmh^2?
Are you absolutely sure about that? What force is acting upon teh Earth to cause it to accellerate so, pray tell?
People should not be afraid of their governments - Governments should be afraid of their people.
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"Rosetta will inspect two asteroids (Otawara and Siwa) at close quarters."
It's about time that us humans started doing the probing to the aliens!
Second chance for any Heaven's Gate folks that got left behind!
The coolest voice ever.
Last time people tried to meet up with a comet, they ended up dead, and covered with purple cloth.
Your favorite
Now that I think about it, how do you "harpoon" an asteroid anyways. Are we going to use a thick rope and a spear? Or is Moby Dicking it the wrong way to go?
That is pretty old-fashioned. Today, they use an explosive grenade that explodes on impact. The explosion either knocks the asteroid unconsious or kills it. Then, NASA can pull it into Earth and fire a frickin' laser beam into it to make sure it's dead.
Asteroid conservation organisations are against the harpooning, but have no tangible arguments left. Since asteroids are extremely numerous, and modern catch methods are within animal welfare standards, the conservationists now claim that asteroids have intrinsic rights, Asteroid Rights. Namely:
The right to have their orbital characteristics un-affected other bodies.
The right not to be used as hiding places for space ships or telepaths.
The right to not be blasted by Star Destroyers.
The right to control their own resources, and grant their own mining rights to whoever they choose.
When pressed on who should represent the asteroids and work as mining rights proxies, the conservation organisations said "us".
Suddenly, most space mining companies had changed their status to non-profit organisations.
Irene KHAAAAAAN!