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Future Army Battle Uniforms - Wired, Lethal

Posted by simoniker on from the serious-geek-hardware-spending dept.

ssyladin writes "CNN is running an article about the future US army battle dress, code-named 'Scorpion'. It says that "..soldiers of 2011 will step into wired uniforms that incorporate all the equipment they need. The uniforms will monitor vital signs and plug them into a massive network of satellites, unmanned planes and robotic vehicles the military has planned." There will be sensors to monitor heartrate and blood-pressure, built-in tourniquets, a HUD to connect to GPS info, overhead maps, infrared and starlight cameras, and even the venerable M16 rifles are slated for an overhaul."

14 of 756 comments (clear)

  1. Nostalgia by NeoMoose · · Score: 4, Funny

    But can it play networked Pong?

    1. Re:Nostalgia by brocheck · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yes, with bullets.

      --

      suddenly I feel very tired

  2. Kinda brings a whole new meaning by thumbtack · · Score: 5, Funny

    to the phrase "Blue Screen of Death" doesn't it?

    1. Re:Kinda brings a whole new meaning by boaworm · · Score: 4, Funny
      Have you seen this Sun-add. Kind of the same theme, but in a different environment :-)


      *Prays his bandwidth will survivs*

      --
      Probable impossibilities are to be preferred to improbable possibilities.
      Aristotele
    2. Re:Kinda brings a whole new meaning by Mr.+Bad+Example · · Score: 4, Funny

      Let's hope they don't give the contract to Microsoft...

      ERROR: AMMO_COUNT_NOT_LESS_OR_EQUAL

      RIFLE.DLL caused a general application fault in module INFANTRY.EXE. Your battle dress uniform has been shut down to protect your data. Please reboot your helmet. If the problem persists, contact technical support or your local coroner.

  3. like a video game by satanicat · · Score: 5, Funny

    It does sound like a video game.

    I wonder if the "network" keeps track of Frags?

    --
    How Now Brown Cow
  4. Good... by Anubis333 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe now we won't be firing at ourselves the majority of the time. ... unmanned drones and vehicles will be?

    CE

    1. Re:Good... by Dionysus · · Score: 5, Funny

      There used to be a saying during WWII:
      "When the German flew overhead, the Allied took cover. When the British flew overhead, the German took cover. When the Americans flew overhead, everybody took cover".

      Doesn't seem like things have changed that much.

      --
      Je ne parle pas francais.
  5. Soldier, you are way out of line... by pieterh · · Score: 5, Funny
    "But sarge, I don't really think shooting those civilians is such a good ide.. BLAMAWAP!!!!"


    Sarge: "Dang, that remote works well."

    --
    My blog
  6. So... by Dark+Lord+Seth · · Score: 4, Funny

    US forces are starting to look like Imperial Storm Troopers? Well, they already aim pretty lousy... That was a start, this is just the finishing touch I guess.

    --
    Hate me!
  7. Then comes a uniform with built-in tourniquets by t0qer · · Score: 4, Funny

    Then comes a uniform with built-in tourniquets that one day might be tightened and loosened remotely.

    Bored Soldier: Base I'm bleeding bad, I need my "arm" tightened.

    Base: Our sensors show that isn't your arm.

  8. Missing feature by magwm · · Score: 4, Funny

    Why is there no SEP(Somebody Elses Problem)-field included in this nice suit?

    ouch - this is really bad for the eyes.. Zaphod

  9. MS jokes [troll warning] by Lord+Prox · · Score: 4, Funny

    In a press release... Microsoft Corp announced today its DirectX 12 MilSpec API renamed DirectWarfare including the new
    DirectFCS (fire control system) and
    ActiveWarhead
    seamlessly integrated in the new Microsoft LookOut Below communications software.

    Where do you want the bombs to fall today

  10. Re:thinking things through by onthefenceman · · Score: 4, Funny

    Is the idea of hundreds of soldiers running through a forest, all attached with miles of CAT 5 cable any better?

    --
    Have you seen my stapler?