MTV Movie Awards - Gollum's Acceptance Clip

tinderbox writes "Tolkien fansite TheOneRing.net has a Quicktime clip of Gollum - and Andy Serkis - accepting the golden popcorn for Best Visual Performance at the MTV Movie Awards. It's hysterical." No joking, this is probably the funniest acceptance speech I have ever seen. Yoda had a speech for winning "Best Fight", but it wasn't anything close to this.

Comments

MTV

[jargoone]

Remember when they used to play videos?

Re:MTV

[Servo]

My memory is a little fuzzy that far back.

Re:MTV

[yoshac]

Best Simpsons opening blackboard line ever:
"I no longer want my MTV"

Re:MTV

[duckpoopy]

I'm even older than you:
I remember when they didn't even show commercials.

Back then HBO showed movies too. Cable TV used to be good.

Re:MTV

[LBArrettAnderson]

starts out with andy serkis: "hi everybody, my name's andy serkis, and i'm delighted to recieve this award on behalf of everybody who brought gollum to life. i can't actually blah blah blah blah blah thank you to mtv fans lotr fants and blah blah blah marriage" then gollum comes in and steals the popcorn "you're a liar and a thief! it's mine, i won it, it was me! we won because of me.... and me, mtv is my friend, my friend! you don't have any friends, nobody likes you... blah blah dobby likes me! dobby? dobby! dobby's a beepin' beep!" serkis "that's enough gollum" gollum "piss off serkis, you stupid fat worthless beepin terd" serkis "i'm not fat" gollum "we're not gonna thank anyone no! no! not you, not MTV, and not those pussy somethings at WETA digital, and not peter jackson, who do you think you are you beepin hack?! shame on you! shame on you! go beep yourself.. not listening! not listening! frankly, nothing can compensate for the somethings and miserable experience we've had in making this beepin' movie" and ther'es more but i'm feeling a little weird right now... i'll come back later

Re:MTV

[Svenne]

Andy Serkis: Hi every body. My name is Andy Serkis, and I'm delighted to receive this award on behalf of everybody who brought Gollum to life. Can't actually be with you this evening because we're down in New Zeeland completing more shots on Gollum for the Return of the King. I'm actually in the motion capture studio where we do a lot of Gollum. Eehmm... I would like to say a big thank you to all the MTV fans, to the Lord of the Rings fans, and to everybody who worked on Gollum. It is a complete marriage of skills-

Bad Gollum: You're a liar, and a thief. It's mine! I won it! It was me! You only won because of me!

Good Gollum: And me. MTV is my friend. My friend.

Bad Gollum: You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you.

Good Gollum: Dobby likes me!

Bad Gollum: Dobby? Dobbs's a *BEEP*cking *BEEP*.

Andy Serkis: That's enough, Gollum.

Bad Gollum: Piss off, Serkis, you stupid fat worthless *BEEP* turd.

Andy Serkis: I'm not fat.

Bad Gollum: We're not gonna thank anyone, oh noo. Not you, not MTV, and not those pigs at WETA digital, or Peter Jackson my precious. Who do you think you are, you *BEEP*ng hack? Shame on you! Shame on you! Go f*BEEP* your self.

Good Gollum: Not listening. Not listening.

Bad Gollum: Frankly, nothing can compensate for the long hours and low pay and miserable experience we've had making this *BEEP*ing movie. And if you think *BEEP* you getting this top of gold popcorn is going to remotely make up for everything we've suffered, you're sadly *BEEP*ng mistaken. You're all bastards! MTV sucks! We hate you all!

Good Gollum: Good night.

Re:MTV

[Jerk City Troll]

Bad Gollum: We're not gonna thank anyone, oh noo. Not you, not MTV, and not those pigs at WETA digital, or Peter Jackson my precious. Who do you think you are, you *BEEP*ng hack? Shame on you! Shame on you! Go f*BEEP* your self.

The line was "pixel-pushing pin-dicks at WETA Digital."

Bad Gollum: Frankly, nothing can compensate for the long hours and low pay and miserable experience we've had making this *BEEP*ing movie. And if you think *BEEP* you getting this top of gold popcorn is going to remotely make up for everything we've suffered, you're sadly *BEEP*ng mistaken. You're all bastards! MTV sucks! We hate you all!

It's "...this tub of golden popcorn...".

If you're going to post a transcript, at least try to get the good parts right.

Re:MTV

[Anonvmous Coward]

"It's "pixel pushing pinheads""

I heard "pin dicks".

Better than Yoda's, IMO

[Skyshadow]

The Gollum speach was the best one of the evening. The Yoda speech was lame -- looked terrible trying to do it live, no emotion, even the jokes were flat (not unlike Episodes 1&2, come to think of it).

Re:Better than Yoda's, IMO

[Reglar_Joe]

"Speach" is used because it rhymes with "compleat."

Congrats

[CausticWindow]

Finally some real and proper glory to Weeta.

Don't care about the Oscars or the BAFTA. It's the voice of the underground subculture that counts.

Re:Congrats

[Have Blue]

MTV is an underground subculture? That must be why they play all those music videos from independent artists with an innovative sound.

Re:Congrats

[powerlord]

MTV Plays music videos?

I thought all they gave us now was awards shows, and lots of "Reality" programming.

Re:Congrats

[Lumpy]

Huh?

MTV has been reduced to the Shiny things network.

They are as far from the underground as you possibly can get.

Hmm, when was the last time you saw a chemical brothers video on MTV.. or a TMBG video? How about something other than HIP-HOP, top 50, or pop?

MTV=lame and it has been for over 6 years now. They used to be innovative and entertaining... How about Liquid Television? Head Bangers Ball? the things that MADE MTV not the crap like TRL and the real world...

Re:Congrats

[goon america]

No, but the way they currently run probably makes them a lot more money.

Haven't you ever realized that dumb 12-14 year old girls run the economy?

Just watch MTV for it again

[pimpybra]

All you have to do is watch MTV for another day or two... The awards show will be on about 32 times in a week.

Re:Just watch MTV for it again

[tcdk]

I would rather kiss Gollum than watch MTV for a day or two.

Oh, and download speed from theonering.net has gone from 25kbps to 1kbps during the last five minuts.

If everybody else would please stop - I'll finish my download and put it on bittorrent and emule/donkey. :-). I promiiiise. Good /.'ers. We wantss it.

cache - http://www.streamload.com/steve/gollum_mtv

[signal914]

I've cached the 8.2MB version (highest-quality) here in my Streamload account:

http://www.streamload.com/steve/gollum_mtvawards_B band.mov

... and the direct links are....

[Anonymous Coward]

[8 MB]
[5.6 MB]
[1 MB]

Brought to you by anonymous karma-whores for peace!

MTV & LOTR

[gmuslera]

This is a good complement to the previous spoof of LOTR done in the MTV movie awards last year, that even was included in the Fellowship of the Ring DVD. I suppose that this one will be included in the DVD of the The Two Towers.

Re:MTV & LOTR

[joFFeman]

nick zedd's spoof is better.

Re:MTV & LOTR

[garver]

If you are referring to the one with Jack Black, it's already on the Extended version of Fellowship as an easter egg. How to access it for region 1 and region 2. It's pretty damned funny, in a Jack Black sort of way.

The long TTT trailer is also hidden on the Extended version.

Being cynical

[Suffering Bastard]

With all due respect to CmdrTaco, I find it difficult to see much humor in watching Gollum say "fsck!" and spew a bunch of banal insults. Call me a curmudgeon, but I don't think that speech was very clever OR funny.

Okay, I'll admit I might have let out a slight "heh".

Re:Being cynical

[waterford0069]

Okay, you're a curmudgeon.

Yoda's speech was predictable. I would see the 'jokes' lining up from about 10km away. Not very clever OR funny.

The Gollum speech was much better. They showed the duallity in Gollum really well.

• They introduced us to the general rudeness of Gollum's bad side at the beginning of the acceptance.
• They demonstrated the innocence of Gollum's good side. "Dobby's my friend"
• The venomous tirade at the end was the shock and awe. It was so wrong, but yet so right for the character of Gollum.

My wife, who is neither a StarWars nor a LotR TrueFan, gave Yoda a 'heh' - but was howling at Gollum.

i know its karma whoring (torrent link)

[Neophytus]

and i know i dont need the karma, but could everyone who already has the vid seed the torrent. Everyone else can start now :D

Erm.. no.

[PhrostyMcByte]

When this first came up on the awards, I laughed. But then gollum quickly started cussing up a storm and it ruined the humor and turned it to annoyance. Saying negative things against LOTR I'm sure I'll get modded to hell and back for this ;)

Re:Erm.. no.

[anthony_dipierro]

C'mon now. Most slashdotters don't realize that this speech was scripted. They think Gollum just started going off and MTV just couldn't cut to commercial quick enough.

Gollum gollum!!!

[JFMulder]

You filthies little slashdotters... you bings the server down... Gollum, gollum!

oh god

[hype7]

"peter jackson, you ****ing hack!!"

ROFL!! :)

That was great... does anyone have a link to the Yoda acceptance speech?

-- james

here's the .torrent

[soliaus]

http://66.209.86.84/gollum_mtvawards_Bband.mov.tor rent

Re:cache - another mirror

[traid]

http://pr0n.biz/stuff/movies/gollum_mtvawards_Bban d.mov mirrored 8 meg version on my 100mbit webserver.

Addendum to Official Slashdot Behavior Guide

[SlashdotLemming]

Yoda is no longer cool.
Quoting Yoda will no longer result in (5,funny), but instead (-1, Offtopic)
Appropiate Gollum quotes should now be used in place of Yoda quotes.

Re:Addendum to Official Slashdot Behavior Guide

[TheRaven64]

Yoda is no longer cool.

A dark day for slashdot, this is.

Re:Addendum to Official Slashdot Behavior Guide

[fizban]

Yesss, my preciousss, Yessssss!

Re:Addendum to Official Slashdot Behavior Guide

[Anonvmous Coward]

"A dark day for slashdot, this is."

Uh ohhhhh Spaghettios.

alternative source

[emoeric]

you can download it off kazaa if you'd rather do that. just search for videos with the name gollum

Re:cache - another mirror

[imtheguru]

works aok, fast too.

clickable link

Re:Animation kinda crappy...

[malex23]

No, but you're probably the only one who thinks that decent lipsynching can be whipped out in twenty minutes for a lousy MTV special.

Personally, I was more distrubed that "Kangaroo Jack" was included in the nominees...

Here's Another Download Link

[Ignorant Aardvark]

I am a mirror. Click on me. It's in .mov format, by the way.

Re:Here's Another Download Link

[Jugalator]

No access to Quicktime player have I.

And in my case, "no access to Quicktime player want I."

Grr... Someone need to hack the Sorenson codec or whatever is the usual codec for .mov files, to make it a standard DirectShow thingy that can be used in Windows Media Player / Winamp or any other player supporting those codecs.

I hate to install new players just to play a new codec. :-(

Re:Here's Another Download Link

[mabu]

Grr... Someone need to hack the Sorenson codec or whatever is the usual codec for .mov files, to make it a standard DirectShow thingy that can be used in Windows Media Player / Winamp or any other player supporting those codecs.


Hear Hear! I'm so sick of the Quicktime nagware and the way that player as well as the Realplayer continues to re-install it's spyware every time you run it regardless of the configuration settings.

People should standardize on mpeg and refuse to support all these other goofy formats that force the install of extra crap that engages in epic battles with other plug-ins every time they run.

Re:/.ed

[djward]

There are actually 2 ways to destroy TheOneRing, apparently... casting it into the fires of Mt. Doom, and linking it on Slashdot. ...was that kinda like what you were looking for? ;)

A .torrent slashdotted?

[Henry Stern]

Hell has frozen over. The BitTorrent server's slashdotted too!

WTF?

[anthony_dipierro]

Too many connections? What the hell is the point of bittorrent if you can have "too many connections?"

What I never understand is ...

[zonix]

(assuming that is what he was saying under the bleeps... fucking censors)

This may be flamebait, but I've never understood why saying fuck has to be censored with bleeps and all that.

Maybe everybody has just gotten used to it through all the years of censoring, and have forgotten to ask themselves why? I mean, you know what he's saying right?

z

Re:What I never understand is ...

[CTachyon]

That episode would be "Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space'". The words "bleeping alien" and the scene of Mulder's excited yet stone-faced whoop will be forever burned into my mind. Ah, for a return to the days when X-Files was a good show...

MTV link

[Anonymous Coward]

http://www.mtv.com/onair/movieawards/ma03/clips/

Re:prearranged award ?

[Neophytus]

And you think acceptance speeches from half way around the world, with the award being conveniantly there for the winner, are live?

Re:Torrent

[DFX]

thanks for raping my site :)

Props to Andy

[PovRayMan]

I'm especially glad they did a short intro to the speech with Andy Serkis thanking everyone. Probably most of MTV never saw the man behind gollum and I'm glad they have now.

Another Torrent link

[koreth]

Since the main one seems to be down, I've put up a tracker on my server. Here's the .torrent file.

Re:One Guy's Opinion

[soliaus]

Todays culture is more accepting to the usage of curse words in the media, atleast most of the younger people are. Some people would see this as something bad, but if you really think about it it is a good thing. How? Simple, it encourages and supports the fact that openness is becoming a reality in todays culture. Yes, that is a good thing

Not only does Jesus save, he makes nightly off-site backups.
He uses NTFS though, so whats the point?

Re:Yep

[Naikrovek]

They were pandering to the masses.

yep, that's how companies make money. did you know that? LoTR would never have been made if it weren't for the masses, which YOU ARE A PART OF.

so yes, they did do it for the masses.

Wow, it is just so great...

[suntse]

... to be able to watch one of Tolkien's timeless characters turned into a whore for MTV.
I wish they'd never made the damn movies.

Re:I don't want to install quicktime

[rezza]

You can get the quicktime alternative from www.k-lite.tk. it lets you watch quicktime and realmedia movies with media player classic, a homemodded version of microsoft's media player 6 series.

Utter lack of cheering for Kangaro Jack...

[Construct X]

Anyone else notice this?

Yeah but...

[wfrp01]

Why slashdot gave gollum billing over the skimpily clad dancing lesbians that shortly followed is beyond me. This is news for nerds, after all.

Mod Parent Up (Underrated)

[Little Brother]

Note, this is the first time I've posted a request to mod parent up or down. I am not posting as A.C. This rating was totaly unfair.

(note at the time I'm writing this post, parent is modded 0 flamebait)

Suntse is posting an opinion about how commercialism has ruined, or at least tarnished, a great literary work. Many of regaurd Tolkien's work as, if not sacred, at least worthy of respect. Many of us will also agree that commercial exploitation is a bad thing(tm) So why is this flame bait? Because the user cursed? Are we that juvenile that we can't handle crude language? Or was this modded down because the moderator just likes the movies and didn't consider the message behind the post? Moderater, if you read this, please email me with the responce, or better yet, reply (this will undo your moderation if they havn't changed the rules).