Bill Gates, Entertainment God?

ppgreat sent in a wired story about the home of the future sort of story discussing A/V in a Microsoft Media Player 9 future. As seems to always be the case, there's a lot of cool stuff in there, but more than a few eyebrow raises.

Comments

Bill Gates, Entertainment God?

[sweeney37]

so does this make Balmer some sort of weird Dancin' Jesus?

Mike

Entertainment God?

[OwnerOfWhinyCat]

Agent Gates will do.

Re:Entertainment God?

[DarkHelmet]

$r1= Assimilate("SCO");
$r2= Assimilate("Morpheus");
$r3= Assimilate("Oracle");
$r4= Assimilate("Andover");

if (!$r4)
{ ?>
Yes, that's it...
It'll be over soon.
<? }

$r4= Assimilate("Andover");

if (!$r4)
{
KungFuLawyerChop("Andover");
}

bill gates, god?

[Anonymous Coward]

I dunno, but the words Bill Gates and God in the same sentence just seem, morally, and ethically wrong...

Re:bill gates, god?

[Jareeedo]

Yea, its generally my policy to avoid using the words Gates and G-d in the same sentence.

Re:bill gates, god?

[pmz]

Yea, its generally my policy to avoid using the words Gates and G-d in the same sentence.

What about: "God help us, Gates is more powerful than the President!"

Re:bill gates, god?

[sharkey]

I dunno, but the words Bill Gates and God in the same sentence just seem, morally, and ethically wrong...

How about, "Bill Gates was struck down by a bolt from a clear sky, which is generally considered to be the Wrath of God."

Re:bill gates, god?

[UnknowingFool]

Have you ever used Windows ME? You use the two terms alot in the same sentence:
"What the hell?!!! I swear to God, I'm going to kill Bill Gates for this."

Thanks, but no.

[Bonker]

I'd rather not have my house p'wned by some l33t electronic theives, thanks. Heaven help you when CodeRedVII hits and makes everyone's house vulnerable to the 'StealyourTVandStereo' exploit.

Re:Thanks, but no.

[Anonymous Coward]

I'd rather not have my house p'wned by some l33t electronic theives, thanks. Heaven help you when CodeRedVII hits and makes everyone's house vulnerable to the 'StealyourTVandStereo' exploit.

CodeReadVII won't use the 'StealyourTVandStereo' exploit, it will simply reprogram your TV so that it only picks up bad copies of other 'reality' shows and your radio only pick up 'boy-bands'.

Oh, wait. We already have that.

oh no!

[tha_mink]

Instead of traditional locks, there's an electronic kiosk with a touchscreen, a biometric scanner, and a smartcard reader. Go ahead and make eye contact; if you're a match, you'll pass through into your future home - a time and place a half-dozen years from now when your living quarters will recognize you, communicate with you, and anticipate your every need.


"Somebody cracked into my front door."

I hope this happens becuase I can't wait to read the security patches for the front door on the "Update" page.

All on Windows

[BJZQ8]

It will be interesting to see if all of this embedded icemakers and digital toilets and such will be crashing as much as the Windows CE-powered cars and navigation devices...

Clippy in the kitchen

[sczimme]

From the article:

Break out the food processor and some baking material; your home recognizes RFID tags in the bag of flour and offers to help. "How about focaccia?"

I wouldn't want Clippy (or any of his pals) monkeying around with anything I was going to eat: he would probably still be mad from the gazillionth time he was 'killed' and would add a bunch of habaneros or something.

Re:Clippy in the kitchen

[Anonymous Coward]

"Looks like you're trying to get some sleep! Let me help by counting sheep out loud for you!"

Re:Clippy in the kitchen

[Anonymous Coward]

It's a mark of how much time I spend reading /. that I saw "RFID on the bag of flour" and immediately thought "Read the f***ing ingredients, dumbass".

Entertainment God?

[kosamae]

I thought he was vying for the position of just plain old God.

Xbox?

[kaamos]

That's when the eHome division, which Poole helped start, teamed up with Hewlett-Packard and Samsung to unveil the Media Center Edition PC. With a 2.4-GHz processor, a TV tuner, a personal video recorder, a DVD burner, an outsize 120-Gbyte drive, and a specialized version of Windows XP, it's meant to be a media command center. The new OS allows a consumer to use a remote control to manage digital media files of all sorts and perform time-shift recording with TV shows (Ã la TiVo). The whole thing retails for $1,300 to $2,000, without a monitor. "We wanted something that would handle digital photos, play back selections from video and music libraries, and give you all the capabilities of the PC as well," says Poole, an almost cherubic character with bushy eyebrows beneath a dark shock of hair.

not to nitpick, but the Xbox is now 199$, they could have paid a nerd a pizza and ran the thing on linux and freevo and have it cost less, isn't it what Microsoft is all ab.... heum.... nevermind

Upgrade PCs

[LongJohnStewartMill]

In the middle stands Microsoft, determined to navigate these extremes. In the face of a rapidly maturing business market, Microsoft needs to find a way to persuade consumers to upgrade their PCs.

Sounds to me like they want us to upgrade our house. "Oh yeah, four bedrooms is all you'll ever need."

Only Microsoft

[Spytap]

Only Microsoft would invent a house where you need to ask permission to act like you live there...

Oh great it reads my spam to me.

[Anonymous Coward]

Welcome home you have 435 messages.

Message one from Edgardo Smith, subject Drop all Debt y ddrf.

Drone on...

Message two from Spetic King, subject your septic system needs this!

Drone one....

The REAL question

[sharkey]

Does it have a bathroom?

With all that high-tech media on the walls

[HiKarma]

With all that high-tech media on the walls, you would never need to look at the Windows...

(Also rumored that the reason Gates built most of his house underground was to avoid pouring more money into windows.)

Bill Gates is no Entertainment God...

[joeszilagyi]

...Bill Gates is a D&D God!

Re:Can we blame Bill for the porn now, too?

[sharkey]

In fact, how does *HE*know?!!

Because all the girls have WINMAIL.DAT tattooed on their forehead?

Microsoft XH Security Flaws.

[AtariAmarok]

From a June 2012 newspaper article in "Fox-Disney-USA-Today":

Dateline: Billmond, Washinggates.

"Microsoft revealed today that its Windows XH home security system, installed in many homes through 1997, has a security flaw in which doors open for anyone who walks up to the door backwards. Microsoft says that this OS is too old and it will refuse to fix this security flaw.

Microsoft is hoping that the old Windows XH home software users upgrade to the new version of the OS that has Digital Rights Management in which advanced accoustics remove from the air any sound which is produced from anything within the home that is not approved by copyright holders."

nah hes a chocolate jesus

[n3r0.m4dski11z]

"Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied"
-tom waits

Re:nah hes a chocolate jesus

[swordgeek]

Heh. That would have been my second choice. In retrospect, it might have been my first.

Should I be worried that I recognised all of the musical references in this thread?

E-Mail read to us?

[netsharc]

Great, so I bring home a girl and the house starts yelling "Penis too small? Buy our penis-enlarger now! Original from Sweden!" and "Hot teens wait for you! Call us now!"..

I hope they come up with a better protocol than SMTP in the future..

Re:E-Mail read to us?

[nytes]

so I bring home a girl and...

Stop right there. Seeing as how you are a /. poster, the whole scenario sounds unlikely.

But aside from that, it could be worse. You bring home a girl and the house starts yelling [pasted directly from a spam I got today]

WE sit on opposite sides of the bed waiting for one or the other to make the first move. Tension is high and hormaones are racing. I get up. Startling you a bit and walk over to your side of the bed. I slowly let the evening gown slide from my shoulders to the floor, showing everything for you gaze upon...

Yeah, nothin' like taking it slow on the first date.

I defy this God!

[DarthVeda]

I still use an outdated version of media player! Ha ha! *lightning bolt*

Reminds me of a story

[El]

There's a long, long line of people at the Pearly Gates waiting to get in. Suddenly, this nerdy looking guy in glasses cuts to the front of the line and storms on in. The others at the the front of the line complain "Who was that?" St. Peter replies: "Oh, that was God, but he thinks he's Bill Gates!"

Entertainment God, eh?

[aerojad]

Can't wait for the worm that's written that makes every home in America play Hanson at the same time, or some other like-annoying band that will drive the general populace insane, just long enough for them to all call tech-support at the same time.

unlimited choice for consumers??

[heli0]

Microsoft has two visions for the future of digital media: unlimited choice for consumers, and unlimited control for producers. One thing's for sure, it's unlimited opportunity for Redmond.

Gates probably has the same idea of "unlimited choice" as Henry Ford: "any color so long as it is black".

Re:Why Bill Gates?

[CleverNickName]

Gates can fire Ballamer, and Ballamer can't fire Gates.

Owning stock trumps a title.

It certainly doesn't hurt Gates to have The One Ring, either.

Re:Old news, once a year

[blackmonday]

Actually this is the sixth version of the house of the future. In every house, 99% of people refuse to believe in the Microsoft future. Of those 99%, there is always one anomaly, or "The One". The One wanders the house looking for Bill Gates (known as the architect), hoping to get his questions answered. The One has used Microsoft's Internet Blender, Windows Media Faucet and Office Ice Maker, but always knows, in the back of his mind, that something is not quite right.