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IBM Responds To SCO: Business As Usual
Newsforge is running a statement from IBM on its decision not to bow to SCO's demand that they stop shipping AIX. In a statement this short, there's not much room for weaselly language, but the even-shorter version is this: "IBM's Unix license is irrevocable, perpetual and fully paid up. It cannot be terminated."
Fuck off
SCO fires back at IBM, Swears to go to court to collect Damages.
details at 11
_ _ _ Go for the eyes Boo! GO FOR THE EYES!
Just got a mental picture of Big Blue with a big leapord-print hat laying down some pimp hand.
Mod point free since 2001
I was prepared for the harsh stance IBM was taking, but I wasn't prepared for the ascii middle finger and the "W3 0wnz0r j00 5c0 b10tch" on the bottom.
i'm picturing some kind of weekend, pay-per-view event, where IBM's lawyers square off against SCO's lawyers.
:)
the SCO lawyers will be puny, whiney, and the villians.
the IBM lawyers would all be built like Goldberg and carry lead pipes in. it would be a bloodbath, over in a few minutes, and save us all the legal crap.
let's face it, SCO is going to get bitch slapped hard by IBM at this point. they're trying to play hardball and up until now IBM has pretty much ignored them. however, like a fly that bites i have a feeling they're about to get swatted back into nothingness.
i guess courtTV needs their drama too.
The companies had engaged in brief but unfruitful discussions, SCO said last week.
The call, intercepted by an unnamed source, went like this:
Operator: Thank you for calling IBM. How may I direct your call?
SCO: Mr. Palmisano, please.
Operator: May I tell him who's calling?
SCO: Darl McBride, CEO of SCO
Operator: Oh, you again. *pause* He is still not taking your call. Would you like his voice mail?
SCO: *sigh* Sure.
[Flush][laughter]*click*
...IBM pisses REALLY hard on SCOs shoes....
Steve
Scene: SCO's balls are tightly wrapped in electrical tape and SCO is lying on the floor...
SCO: Dddddon't hurt me!!
IBM: We ship your clothes, complete your financial transactions, know your insurance info... WE GUARD YOUR DATA WHILE YOU SLEEP, DO NOT FUCK WITH US!
Translation:
IBM: <yawn> <glances over shoulder> Oh, SCO? You still there? Eh, fuck off, will you? <goes back to sleep>
Another non-functioning site was "uncertainty.microsoft.com."
The purpose of that site was not known.
See SCO.
See SCO lie.
See stocks fly.
Fly stocks, fly!
See Gartner blow.
SCO stocks grow!
Grow stocks! Grow!
See Novell.
See Novell smack,
Smack SCO! Smack!
See IBM.
See IBM laugh.
SCO lawyers barf.
SCO stocks cut in half.
See SCO.
See SCO whine.
SCO says "It's mine!"
See IBM.
IBM puts foot down.
SCO execs start to drown.
Drown SCO, drown!
When this goes to trial I hope I get jury duty.
"Do you know what Unix is?"
No
"Do you know what Linux is?"
No
"Do you know who SCO is?"
No
"Do you know what IBM does?"
Ummmm they make typewriters?
"Ok, you are on."
Bwuahahahahah
I filtered Caldera so I don't have to see all of these stories and here's one slipping through.
The SCO section you speak of would quickly be obselete. It is probably not worth the effort.
Healthcare article at Kuro5hin
Point by point translation:
SCO, shut up or put up.
Just who do you think you are?
Fuck off.
Another non-functioning site was "uncertainty.microsoft.com."
The purpose of that site was not known.
"Bite my shiney blue ass, meatbags"
Man, this is going to be fun.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Go for the eyes Blue! Go for the eyes!!!
This space for rent, inquire within.
"IBM's Unix license is irrevocable, perpetual and fully paid up. It cannot be terminated. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It does not feel pity, remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead."
Well, this would be prosecuted, thanks to the Bush administration's sincere stance against corporate crime.
Oh, wait...
Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves.
"How about I give you the finger, and you go the hell away."
It sounds like a chalenge but what a great way to go.
If you are about to quit and you have access to some company account (petty cash will do) then go and spend it all on 5,000 cpies of OS/2 or something equally as stupid.
Imagine the fame for being the firsrt person to be fired for buying IBM.
Mouse powered Chips, Open source Processors and Lego
Sontag is wrong if he thinks that US govt will help because Linux is used by terrorists, since Linux is also used by NASA, Pentagon etc. It would have been different matter if he had said that Linux is used by Al Gore....
OSX isn't unix, right? ;-)
Yeah, maybe Google or Yahoo or some internet company will become the next evil empire. Evil companies are always cute when they are still a young pup.
AOL already missed their shot as the big bad, since they are currently imploding.
These guys are into some realy good weed. I wonder who their source is? Even a nickel box of this stuff
would keep you going for a week.
You're confused. SCO is suing IBM, not Microsoft.
SCO: All your [code] base are belong to us!
The court also finds that IBM is SCO's "daddy", and instructs SCO's legal counsel and executive management to "say it, biatch".
the major advances in civilization are processes which all but wreck the societies in which they occur - A.N. White
IBM today announced the completion of the world's fastest legal team: Blue Thunder which was jointly developed by the U.S. Energy Department's Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, Harvard University and IBM. Blue Thunder can perform 3.9 trillion lawsuits per second (15,000 times faster than the average IP law firm) and has over 2.6 trillion bytes of high-tech patents to work with (80,000 times more than the average Wall Street tort artist). It would take a lawyer using a small office of secretaries 63,000 years to perform as many legal actions as this team can perform in a single second.
if you're going to insert any type of a character-set when referring to IBM, you should use EBCDIC.
... hi bingo
IBM: What does YOUR code looks like?
SCO: What?
IBM, pointing his gun: Say "what" again. SAY "WHAT" AGAIN! I dare you, I double dare you, motherf***er! Say "what" one more goddamn time!
SCO: You s-s-stoleee my source code...
IBM: Go on.
SCO: I w-w-want YOUR m-m-money...
IBM: Do I look like a bitch?
SCO: What?
[IBM shoots SCO in the shoulder]
IBM: DO I LOOK LIKE A BItCH!?
SCO: NO!
IBM: Then why you trying to f*** ME like a bitch, SCO?
SCO: I didn't!
IBM: Yes you did. Yes you did, SCO. You tried to f*** ME. And I don't like to be f***ed by anybody, except by Micro$oft.