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Scientists Grow Decaffeinated Coffee Plants
An anonymous reader writes "According to a CBC News story, researchers have genetically modified coffee seedlings to produce up to 70 per cent less caffeine." The Japanese researchers quoted in the article say "..demand for decaffeinated coffee is growing worldwide. Caffeine can trigger palpitations, increase blood pressure and disrupt sleep in sensitive people", and so "..used a tool called RNA interference to genetically engineer the one-year-old plants." Seems like these boffins may be competing against the University Of Hawaii researchers we mentioned last year to take away your buzz.
I mean really, if it can't help me stay up all night coding whats the point?
"It is not how things are in the world that is mystical, but that it exists." -Ludwig Wittgenstein
How about they get working on super-caffeinated coffee? And we can call it Coffee 2. Then the regular caffeinated version of coffee can be renamed to Coffee 2. But the super-caffeinated version will be Coffee 2 Hi-Caffeine and the regular-caffeinated version will be Coffee 2 Full-Caffeine.
i rerereally cococould uuuuse thththis stufffff.
opiate free poppy plantations?
*Jaw drops open*
;-)
This is blasphemy!! This, this, this... This is an outrage! Oh, the humanity!
It's time to stop this nonsense once and for all! Coders, Admins, hackers, and yes, even Microsoft employees, virus writers and marketdroids, repeat after me:
No to GMO! We want Real Coffee!
I mean, Decaf' Coffee? If God wanted us to drink this, he would not have invented Starbucks!
Oh, wait... I am a tea drinker...
Err... Well, never mind me. Carry on...
The right to offend is far more important than the right not to be offended. (Rowan Atkinson)
Until reading this I was fairly neutral about the GM issue.
On one hand I thought greenpeace were a load of insane hippies who are in need of a damn good kicking, but I was also suspicious of the motives of the biotech companies. I was, however, prepared to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Now I know. Greenpeace are right! Those bastards mean to destroy us all, and I have proof!!!
Someone needs to look at what the whole drive for effectless "drugs" tells us about society. THC free hemp yes, because hemp is a useful plant (makes good cloth,easier to grow than cotton). But surely the sole purpose of coffee beans is to produce...coffee? If you don't like the side effects, there are any number of alternatives. Decaffeinated coffee is like devaluing the brand name.
Or perhaps I've missed the business implications. Perhaps I should just patent my new process for making alcohol free vodka, and get rich.
Panurge has posted for the last time. Thanks for the positive moderations.
I like chocolate ice cream! Can I get modded up now?
A two sentence post expressing a personal preference shouldn't satisfy anyone's definition of insight.
I'd wait for SP1 before drinking an untested release.
to buy my thc-free marjiuana before.
But now I'm not so sure.
Decaffeinated diet coke (aka water).
Bad analogies are like waxing a monkey with a rainbow.
I'm all for decaf. At least for my co-workers.
Would you like something to drink ?
Kramer : Decaf Capuccino
...consumption of coffee is expected to increase by over 200 percent.
Decaf is like masturbation. When it is all you have it is ok. But, man you would die for the real thing!
Don't laugh. Just like me you are reading slashdot. You know what I am talking about;)
Good for you! If you don't want caffeine, why drink coffee? There are thousands of alternatives.
But for me, let me say:
It is by caffeine alone
I set my mind in motion,
It is by the beans of Java
That my thoughts aquire speed,
The hand aquire shakes,
The shakes becomes a warning,
It is by caffeine alone
I set my mind in motion.
Caffeine can trigger palpitations, increase blood pressure and disrupt sleep in sensitive people
Yeah, great stuff!
a pack of nicotine free cigarettes with every purchase.
Kinda makes you wonder if either A) Scott Adams knew about this already or B) Scott Adams reads Slashdot...
My journal has hot
Don't get me wrong... I was all for genetic research and modification. I was naive enough to think the scientists would only do ethical stuff, like growing chicken that lay cubic eggs for efficient storage and transportation, and solve the world hunger by engineering better socks.
:-P
But no! They just had to go for us professional nerds and geeks! They just had to attack the foundation of our daily life... this can't continue... research must stop!
--
1. Ban popular addictive substance
2. ???
3. Profit!!
Coffee is both popular and cheap, so something had to be done about it. Banning the traditional kind and replacing it with a kinder, gentler version is the first step. Bombing coffee-growing regions while turning a blind eye to coffee-lords who grow new hi-grade plants is the next step. Finally, a 25% cut of what is definitely going to be big business...
Ites' first rule of thumb says "follow the money", and for caffeine-free coffee this seems the only plausible plot. Certainly no-one is actually going to buy the castrated version.
Sig for sale or rent. One previous user. Inquire within.
Cool! Are there any side effects?
Six sick
Of course there caffeine-free beverages that are better than coffee. But all of those contain alcohol and some people occasionally want to drink something that is both alcohol AND caffeine free.
I'm not sure why. People can be weird sometimes.
LOL IM A PROGRAMMER LOL I DRINK COFFEE LOL CAFFEINE LOL DONT COME TO CLOSE LOL I HAVE THE SHAKES AND MIGHT SNAP ROFL I HAVENT HAD MY MORNING CUP OF COFFEE LOL
Unfortunatly, I've met more imaginative heroin addicts.
I fucking hate this caffeine gimmick, it's not that hard to stay up late when coding, or make it to work in the morning without bending over for caffeine.
The problem with slashdot is that most of its users were bullied and stuffed into lockers as kids!
I mean, who is fucked up enough to want such products? Whats the next glorious "light"-idea? Castrated husbands?
--
"The more prohibitions there are, The poorer the people will be" -- Lao Tse
Scientists have also found a way to remove Dihydrogen Monoxide from water in a process called "deaquificiation".
Wally has so much caffine in his system that he can "coast" for a few minutes.
However, look at it like this: the Pointy Haired Boss is also down, so there may be good to come out of this....
www.eFax.com are spammers
In stead of "Scientists Grow Decaffeinated Coffee Plants" I want ot see headlines like...:-
Scientists Grow caffeinated Coffee Plants with 50% more Caffine
or
Scientist grow a Jolt Cola Plant
or
Scientist grom a Caffine/Pizza combo plant
Why _less_ caffine??
Jaj
My GOD man, have they any decency? the infadels!! someone must alert Mr. GWB that these people exist.
- Whiskey with no alcohol
- Pot with no THC
- Computers that run at 25 Mhz
- Cars that max at 30 km/h
- Sex without orgasms
- Parachute jumping from 5 ft
- Motorbikes with roofs and no wheels
- Rubber knives
- Porn involving ugly people
- Half-sized beds
- IM limited to 1 message per day
- Headless hammers
- Private blogs
- Silent music
- Opera with skinny people
- Bars with no beer
- Ladders with 1 rung
- 3.5v mains power
- Cold fire
- Black glass
Uhm. What... is... the... point...? Beer without the alcohol is just horse urine, and coffee without caffeine is just dark bitter hot horse urine.
Sig for sale or rent. One previous user. Inquire within.
What next? Bio-engineered hunans to think less, and consume more?
;-)
You haven't been to your local mall lately, have you?
Lost: Sig, white with black letters. No collar. Reward if found!
Are there any side effects?
Annoying all-caps titles.
I'm more worried about it cross-polinating with real caffeine plants and diluting my Coding Coffee
For a moment, I thought that said Codeine Coffee...and half of me instantly wanted to ask where I could get some...
-Julius X
remove "-whatkindofspamdoyoutakemefor-" from email to send
just to invent a nontoxic brown magic marker for your teeth.
Manually implemented sigs are of unlimited length...
Luckily, all my coworkers smoke crack instead of drinking coffee on their breaks, so there's no risk of me becoming a caffiene addict.
'I ain't a liar, baby, and I ain't proud I just want what I'm not allowed.' -- Violent Femmes, 36-24-36
I'm a biotech student, and as such genetic modification is hardly anathema to me;
BUT DON'T FUCK WITH MY DAMN COFFEE!
And yes, I actually do like the taste of it (at least the stuff I make). I would be curious to find out if this new stuff tasted any good...
They are evil sinners, and will suffer horrible tortures in the afterlife!!! They are but Tools of Satan to remove caffeine from the Coffee Shrub!!! Makes me sooooo angry!!! If I hadn't traded in my Hunting Rifle for a Hunting Camara, there lives would be in danger!!!
HenryJamesFeltus.com
You might be surprised to hear this, but coffee has became probably THE national drink of Japan.
So, between the caffeine and the nicotine, do the Japanese bounce to work?
Healthcare article at Kuro5hin
And if anything would convince a bunch of otherwise stridently libertarian coder geeks that genetically modified food is bad, this particular GMO would do it! "Monsanto is threatening our caffeine! To arms!"
This is science run AMOK. It must be stopped.