Slashdot Mirror
Telemarketers Plan Counterattack
Chris Hoofnagle writes "CNN reports that companies who heavily use telemarketing are planning to counterattack consumers with a barrage of spam and junk mail in October, when the new do-not-call registry goes into effect. Slashdotters should be aware that, as well as anti-spam email software, there are tools to avoid junk snail-mail, such as Junkbusters' free Declare, Private Citizen's excellent service and the Postal Service's Prohibitory Order service, which is described at the EPIC privacy page."
I didn't think it was possible, but clicking on the unsubscribe links on the SPAM that I get, has actually stopped most of it, and I have a fairly clean inbox. Now, whenever I check my email, I get disappointed to see no new messages. Maybe it was nice to have SPAM keeping me company.
I love it, the article has a popunder : )
Vino, gyno, and techno -Bruce Sterling
If I took every penis enlargement I've been spammed with, mine would be at least 42,000 inches. What am I supposed to do with that?!
The problem with spam and direct mail and telemarketing is simple: it works. There are people that buy stuff from them. The people that actually buy stuff are the ones that are ruining things for the rest of us.
So, I propose that we set up a fake telemarketing/spam centre that pretends to be your typical telemarketer. But instead of sending you a long distance plan or penis enlarger, it actually just sends out a pyromaniac to burn your house down if you buy something.
The best part is it only has to be done once or twice to have a strong dampening effect; it may not actually need to be done at all, since the people that buy stuff from spam/telemarketers are probably the same people that believe urban legends and those 'pass this to your friends' e-mails.
It's a foolproof plan. Quick, someone start the chain e-mail!
Another slashdotter said it best:
"The best way to avoid spam is to never give out your e-mail address to anyone."
It's good advice. I've been using that method ever since I read that, and it's working beautifully.
Well, ok. First we have RIAA going all out sueing people left and right. Then we have SCO going all out crazy on the OSS and Linux community. Now we have the infamous telemarketing companies "counterattacking" their customers. Next up, grocery stores throwing tomatoes at shoppers.
Businesses are supposed to provide products and services, not shove them down our throats. It is our choice what we buy anyway, isn't it?
Question everything.
Nah, it's fantastic news. Just think of all the paper recycling that will be going on!
Forget thrust, drag, lift and weight. Airplanes fly because of money.
Actually, can I sign up to get nothing BUT the mail that is "erotically arousing or sexually provocative"?
"companies who heavily use telemarketing are planning to counterattack consumers with a barrage of spam and junk mail"
Not a problem, as I'm reasonably certain that such tactics will lead them to the promised land of lawsuits, Chapter 11, and finally, Cellblock 6A, which houses Bubba's Fudge-Packing Factory. Spam on dear telemarketers. Spam your way to an 8x10 cell where you can push your wares on a 300lbs man who hasn't seen a woman in 15 years.
-- "Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
I don't get any crap from friends or family either!
Reach out and touch someone, of course!
Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more
Personally, I don't care much about snail-mail spam. I figure if they're paying for it, the more the merrier. Gives me the chance to use that big, shiny dumpster right by the mailbox.
.. it will save me having to buy all those equally useless newspapers to start the fire with in the cold winters evenings.
Yes, we need a list that includes do not mail, do not e-mail, do not phone and do not send carrier pigeons. This list shall be known as that STFU List.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face
Comment removed based on user account deletion
The problem is that there are idiots on both sides of the transaction. P.T. Barnum would be so proud. If said idiot believes he can get rich quick by hiring a spammer to send out 100 million emails for $100 on his behalf, it doesn't matter if there is 0 response. The spams have already gone out, and even if he doesn't try again, there are thousands of other idiots willing to take his place.
Perhaps one could convince those hackers mounting their attack on July 6th to go after these advertising servers. Then we'd see some real progress... and honestly, who could blame them? ^_^
If I bought stuff from even 1/1000 of the spam I got, I'd have about 37 college diplomas, a 2 foot long penis and several billion in laundered Nigerian money in my bank account. Alas, it gets caught by my spam filter, so I'm left working really hard for one college diploma, a tiny caucasean penis and almost nothing in my bank account. Thanks a lot, spamassassin >:(
For maximum effectiveness, you need to direct your advertisements more carefully at the target market. If your callers are primarily nuetered dogs, you should consider playing to your customers promotional material for products such as:
This targeted marketing strategy will help ensure maximum return for your marketing expenditures.
Or did anyone else read the subject as "Terrormarketers Plan Counterattack?"
What if the company itself isn't in the US? What if they don't speak ENGLISH? I'm serious- I've gotten Chinese telemarketing calls. I mean, how the hell can there be any chance that they could sell something if I can't even understand them??
La respuesta es simple. Usted necesita encontrar un babelfish y ponerlo en su oído.
Beware, Nugget is watching... See?
The scary part is that there actually is such a product on the market. From their page:
Umm...yeah. Whatever. That sounds like the kind of thing the old biddy with the toy poodle/Chihuahua/Pomeranian/[insert annoying small-dog breed here] that never stops yapping would buy for the little beast.
20 January 2017: the End of an Error.
heh heh i can take it like unlik all you whimps can't. i'm real, send me your thoughts at pat_isbell@hotmail.com
Phone: *ring*
Cthulhu: Hello?
JF Lyons: Hi there, Mr. Khooloo, I calling you because I want to give you what you want to eat! Interested?
Cthulhu: Why yes, I am a bit peckish...
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
3. An anonymous death threat. Not directed at me personally, but still it was coming to the family phone number. He informed me that he was "sharpening the knives" among other things.
2. Some chick who wanted me to repair a wheelchair, because that was obviously what I do. (It's not.)
1. Some guy calling from Tokyo and wanted to know if I was interested in the stock market and trading. (I live in Sweden, btw.)
Send back some white powder instead...that should liven up their day.
(humming along, a happy tune in my heart)
- Weird Al Yankovic feat. Ben Folds on piano, "Why Does This Always Happen To Me" (Poodle Hat, 2003)I just tell them that I charge $4.99US per minute and then ask for their credit call information to cover the cost of doing business with me. The next sound you hear will be a click as the telemarketer hangs up.
It's all fun and games until someone loses the key to the handcuffs.
See, it does work.
I didn't want to talk to you anyway...