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Request for Cosmic Collision Insurance
HobbySpacer writes "According to this article a group of distinguished citizens has sent an open letter to Congress, the President, and other world leaders to request that they begin a serious program to protect the planet from the possible impact of a comet or asteroid. The petitioners include Freeman Dyson, Apollo 17 astronaut Harrison Schmitt, Neil Tyson (Director of the Hayden Planetarium) and others. They say that for "the first time in human history, we have the potential to protect ourselves from a catastrophe of truly cosmic proportions." A three phase program is urged that includes detection, exploration, and contingency planning. See the full letter at www.CongressNEOaction.org"
For a one-time premium of only US$1,000, I will grant a US$1.5Million policy to anyone who wants one -- NOBODY TURNED DOWN!!
The policy will pay out, in full, to anyone whose species becomes extinct as a result of catastrophic collision with any celestial body.
Some of my competitors will only cover comets, excluding asteroids. Others may cover alien invasions, but exclude comets. I cover any celestial catastrophic event that causes the extinction of your species, and I pay cash!
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I think they are implying that the US plan of having a group of oil rig drillers ready to go, won't save us ...
Unique signatures are rare.
Really, am I the only one to think that even if our whole solar system would be devastated by a gigantic cosmic body (however unlikely that is) it would hardly qualify for cosmic proportions?
Maybe if a galaxy cluster was destroyed it'd be of cosmic proportions, but a tiny planet?
Nope, heh, talk about inflated self-importance. :-)
Easy there, egghead.
Er, then again, maybe we should have a contingency plan.
"Prepare for the worst - hope for the best."
10. Spend days and days destroying planets in the arcade game "Mad Planets". Surely this skill will be useful somehow when the time comes.
9. The "Space 1999" lesson: blow up a nuclear waste dump, and we escape orbit. Wacky hijinks with Barbara Bain will ensue.
8. Make a deal with the dolphins ("So long, and thanks for all the fish")
7. Bet your life savings that worlds will collide. A sure way to make sure it never happens
6. Increase funding to "Star Wars"/ SDI by thousands and thousands of percent. Sure, it will then cost $34,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 by then, but won't it be worth it?
5. Rent the Death Star, park it in near-earth orbit, with laser point aimed outwards, with "Go ahead, make my day" painted on the side.
4. Board the "B Ark" with the telephone sanitizers, SCO attorneys, actuary adjustment agents, and the rest of the useless people.
3. Hide under an umbrella and close your eyes.
2. Send Bruce Willis into space.
1. Join the Flat Earth society. Sail off the edge of the earth and avoid any collision problems.
for "the first time in human history, we have the potential to protect ourselves from a catastrophe of truly cosmic proportions." A three phase program is urged that includes detection, exploration, and contingency planning.
This plan sounds suspiciously like an excuse to put lasers in space.... I can see it now,
"My fellow citizens, in the name of securing ourselves from evil celestial bodies hurtling towards the earth and thousands of miles per hour, we are beginning an expansive program to protect each and every citizen on this great planet. These lasers will be used for peaceful purposes... we wouldn't even think of aiming them at certain nations that have restarted nuclear programs or anything like that... noooooo."
I live ze unknown. I love ze unknown. I am ze unknown.