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Microsoft Wins Homeland Security Contract
syzme writes "According to The Register (as well as Reuters and News.com), 'The U.S. Department of Homeland Security has signed a deal for Microsoft software worth something in the region of $100 million, covering servers and over 140,000 desktops. This does not however mean that Microsoft and its hench-OEM Dell are poised to hoover up all of the Department's lovely IT budget, nor indeed that this is all new money for them; largely, it seems to be more a case of Microsoft holding onto business it's already got.'" This shouldn't be much of a surprise -- remember the Federal government is already Microsoft's biggest customer.
Somewhere, in a deep dark cave, some terrorists are having a jolly good laugh.
Beep beep.
Good news: Orwellian homeland securty is now going to lose all your data as fast as it collects it.
Bad News: "In other news, After extensive backround checks by homeland security, Mr. Nedal Nib Amaso is now head of NTSB....."
All Troll + "offtopic" mods are meta moderated as "Unfair", because you abused the system.
Okay, in light of this purchase, the department has been renamed to the Department of Homeland Insecurity.
Hahaha. Oh I kill me, I do.
The key to the enjoyment of pop music is to replace any instance of "love" with "C.H.U.D."
The Homeland Security Advisory System's current threat level has been elevated to 'blue' (Immanent threat of terrorism due to blue screen)
Jon Bardin
Isn't that supposed to be: "Well, there goes the Network Neighborhood."
...will be illegal and a sign of terrorism?
-- There are two kind of sysadmins: Paranoids and Losers. (adapted from D. Bach)
"This security patch addresses both previous and newly discovered security vulnerabilities pertaining to homeland security."
Everything in the world is controlled by a small, evil group to which, unfortunately, no one you know belongs.
Maybee theyre building a huge honeypot....
if common sense was common, wouldn't everyone have it?
I for one welcome our new technology overlords!
I see you are trying to bomb a country.
Would you like help?
-Get help with bombing the country
-Just bomb the country without help
This is known as "Security through inaccessibility"
--
Was it the sheep climbing onto the altar, or the cattle lowing to be slain,
or the Son of God hanging dead and bloodied on a cross that told me this was a world condemned, but loved and bought with blood.
So much for Homeland "Security".
Now now, let's not be so quick to criticize. Securing Microsoft systems is extremely simple:
The US government is pretty much *everyones'* biggest customer.
We are now at threat level "BLUE"...............
please reboot.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
...will we be handing out EULAs to anyone that wants to have diplomatic ties with us?
"...By installing this embassy, you absolve the United States Government of any responsibility for lost revenue, citizens, or infrastructure. Furthermore, you agree that you will not attempt to negatively influence the revenue, citizens, or infrastructure of the United States..."
blog |
Think how Larry Ellison feels!
It's Christmas everyday with BitTorrent.
I hear the Coast Guard is trying to get an exemption from having to use Windows.
:-D
Too many open ports.
--- I wish I could hear the soundtrack to my life. That way I'd know when to duck.
I'm sure they'll secure those machines well, padlocks, keycard entry systems.
:)
Oh you meant the OS....
One night, I was like, writing a report on how Iraq was trying to buy yellowcake from Nigeria, when all of a sudden it went berserk, the screen started flashing, it was like BEEP BEEP BEEP and the whole paper just disappeared. All of it. And it was a good report! I had to cram and rewrite it really quickly. Needless to say, my rushed report wasn't nearly as good, and now Tony Blair is like, in danger of losing his job!
"If he thinks he can hide and run from the United States and our allies, he's sorely mistaken." Bush on bin Laden
Terrorists applaud selection of Microsoft for Department of Homeland Security.
Information Technology consultants for Al Qaeda were pleased with the the US government selection of Microsoft to supply the Dept. of Homeland Security with servers and over 140,000 desktops. Mohammed Al'Hacker beamed, "Microsoft systems allow for unmatched file sharing and remote access. We will save millions of dollars by simply being able access Homeland Security databases over the internet, rather than having to pay for bribes and expensive operatives. We are so pleased that the infidels chose 'open data' over 'open source.'" ....
Bin Laden: All Your Homeland Security Are Belong To Us!
Tom Ridge: What you say?!
How are you going to keep them down on the farm once they've seen Karl Hungus?
...I've always thought putting MS in charge of security (as with Palladium) was like asking the wolf to guard the sheep.
Perhaps one of these analogies would work, too:
It's like putting a steel door on a cardboard box.
It's walking into a battlefield backwards.
It's like carrying a tiger-repellant rock.
It's like driving eyes-closed because "God is my pilot (or whatever)"
Basically, Microsoft + Homeland Security = a smoking hole that will become the ocean separating Mexico and Canada.
Healthcare article at Kuro5hin
That'll be funny right up until a worm gets into some highly cleared officer's laptop and sends out a copy of "OperationChineseFreedom.doc" to his Address Book.
perl -e 'print $i=pack(c5, (41*2), sqrt(7056), (unpack(c,H)-2), oct(115), 10)'