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The Introvert Advantage
Most people don't understand what introversion is. I certainly didn't, despite delusions to the contrary. The book begins by explaining what being an "innie" is all about, using a light conversational tone and experiences from the (introverted) author's life. A number of misconceptions are examined and dispelled. For example, introversion is not shyness or a lack of social skills. It's temperament, hard wired in your genetic code, and cannot be altered. To give some flavor to the remarks, examples of introverts from fiction and real life (e.g. Abraham Lincoln, Michael Jordan, Steve Martin) are listed.
The book includes what has to be one of the weakest personality tests ever devised. The goal is to determine if you're an introvert, but it appears that most responsible adults qualify. Some of my clearly extroverted friends got nearly the same scores as introverts. Skip it.
That test aside, the author does an excellent job of reducing the difference between introverts and extroverts to one of energy levels. Extroverts have more energy -- and recharge by being around large groups of other people, while introverts have less, and recharge by being alone or with a very small group of close friends. The very things that energize "outies" will drain "innies," leading to the "party pooper" perception.
One of the strongest parts of the book is a discussion of the physiology of introversion. Differences in the dominance of sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems (the "fight or flight" and "throttle down" feedback systems) explain why introverts tend to go through the day at a lower energy level than extroverts. Introverts tend to be less vocal and more "blank", especially when mixed into groups of active extroverts.
The discussion of brain chemistry is equally fascinating: introverts use different neurochemicals for memory, which is why it can take some time (and perhaps REM sleep) for information to fully settle and process. Hence the tendency for great ideas to occur during the morning shower. The chemical mix also explains why the sorts of events that stimulate extroverts can quickly over-stimulate and wear out introverts.
Dealing with Extroverts The second part of the book is about dealing with significant others, children, and co-workers. The first chapter has sections on different relationship pairings (introvert male with extrovert female, introvert female with extrovert male, introvert with introvert). These are insightful and, frankly, would have saved me some grief had I read them a number of years ago. The author gives specific tips for improving communication and understanding in each situation.The chapter on parenting gives tips on identifying introverted children and coping with them. This will be more useful for an extroverted parent, who perhaps doesn't understand why sitting quietly and reading has such a strong appeal. The chapter also has tips for introverted parents with extroverted kids, who need a little more outward show than the parents are perhaps used to giving.
A section on socializing and small talk is in this section, but such things have been covered more extensively in books on overcoming shyness.
Introverts and extroverts often rub up against one another in the workplace. In the last chapter in this section, the author raises a number of issues and suggests ways to cope with them. For example, introverts tend to immerse themselves in a particular project, and like to work without interruption for extended periods. Intrusions disrupt concentration, and regaining it takes time and energy. Extroverts enjoy the occasional interruption, because it gives them an energizing break and avoids monotony. Both sides expect the other to feel the same way, so extroverts interrupt others with quick questions (which annoys the introvert), and introverts try to avoid interrupting others (which makes extroverts see introverts as aloof). The chapter also discusses participation in meetings, giving presentations, and just dealing with people who "interface" differently.
There are other books on relationships, parenting, and on dealing effectively with others in the workplace. This is not the book that puts all others to shame, but if you're an introvert it covers the essentials.
Living in an Extroverted World The last part of the book discusses strategies for living in a world dominated by extroverts. How to manage your time, schedule your life in a way that won't cause overstimulation, how to re-energize through aromatherapy. There is some good advice here, but nothing really new or insightful.The author points out that 75% of people are extroverts, and suggests that might explain why the quick-thinking life of the party is idealized. Introverts often have self-esteem problems because they can't be what most of the world wants them to be. The point of this book is to teach introverts why they are the way they are, to show them which aspects of their personality are immutable and which can be changed, and most of all to show that that there is nothing about introversion that requires making excuses.
Much of the value of this book is in the first third, where the psychology and physiology of introversion are treated as an integral whole. Discovering that personality quirks and the desire to ask "how long are we planning to stay at the party" are normal and expected behaviors is liberating. (I'll be launching the Introvert Liberation Front shortly.) The later sections range from "just okay" to very good, but even if you've seen such before it's worthwhile to get a different perspective. Other books -- many of which are listed in the bibliography -- have covered these topics with greater depth or breadth, but the focus on looking at life from an introvert's perspective separates this from most of them.
I highly recommend this book to introverts or to extroverts with an introvert in their life. (If you work in high tech, you're probably one or the other.)
You can purchase The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World from bn.com. There is also a web site for the book, with merchandise, downloadable pamphlets, and discussion forums. Slashdot welcomes readers' book reviews -- to see your own review here, read the book review guidelines, then visit the submission page.
In trying to understand my own psyche i've been doing alot of reasearch on the net.. I am quite certain that myers-briggs/jung typologies are pretty much dead on.. i've had so many 'aha' epiphany moments reading about my personality type (intj), it's made my work life, personal life, and everything in between so much better. Having an understanding of your strengths and weaknesses is definately a good thing, especially in this day and age. Learning to exploit yourself, is almost as good as exploiting others ;)
http://www.humanmetrics.com has a great (free) typology test, but you have to remember to be dead honest with yourself when answering the questions (take your time!) once you have your personality type, the net makes it easy to 'find who you are'.
----------------------------
Esobofh - Currently drinking fresh mango juice.
. . . until I got to the bit about aromatheraphy. Plueeezzzz
Seriously, I wonder if this book looks at the introvert/extrovert dichotomy as too absolute. I am generally an introverted person (I do, after all, read Slashdot!). However, in some social situations I behave more like an extravert (for example: the quick questions thing mentioned in the review). Pop psychology is perhaps more interesting if everyone fits neatly into one box or the other, but I suspect that reality is much more complex.
That said, this sounds like an interesting read.
"The dinosaurs died because they didn't have a space program." - Niven
There used to be a much better Perl-based test out there based on the book, Please Understand Me by David Kiersey and Marilyn Bates, but I found this test out there. (You can go to Kiersey's self-promotional site too, but it looks like they use some form of communist registration/info-gathering technique before they let you take the test.)
Introversion/Extraversion is simply one of many factors - in this organizational scheme, Jungian personality types adapted by Isabel Briggs Myers.
If you want to learn more about basic psychology for nerds, study the Meyer-Briggs Type Indicator. (MBTI for short.) lots of links (dutch and english)
This book seems to be based on part of their work.
So what is a "function"? Everyone has four functions that we use: Two information generating functions, and two decision making functions.
The informations gathering functions are called "sensing" and "intuition" respectively, and the decision making functions are called "feeling" and "thinking"
Sensing is about the here and now, and what has happened before. Intuition is about seeing patterns and multiple developments developing from a situation: Dreaming and imagination. Feeling is about making decisions based upon peoples reactions and hunches about this (empathy). Thinking is about making decisions on well defined thoughts logically strung together and disregard the fluffy stuff.
However as each person grows into and adult, she chooses to rely on a pairing of one of the information gathering functions and one of the decision making functions, and more or less disregard the two others. She often has a problem understanding that other people have chosen other pairings and this can lead to a lot of misunderstanding.
Anyway to get back top the discussion on introversion: When you have your two functions you rely on (as an example thinking and intuition), if the one that dominates is directed inwards, you're an introvert. Roughly half of all Americans are introverts.
Hackers and programmers come in all types, though e.g. INTJ is often associated with programmers. INTJ is a person who uses intuition as her dominant function directed inwards, and thinking (directed outwards) for decision making.
This is a large and complex (well basically a bit unstructured) subject and I fully expect a number of posters to point out errors in the above text :-)
who tests as ENFP (Extrovert intuitive feeler)
I read a book on generally the same topic a while back called: Why Should Extroverts Make All the Money?: Networking Made Easy for the Introvert by Frederica, Ph.D. Balzano.
The main lesson I got out of reading this book was how to deal with extroverted management. I code all day long and after reading this book I realised that much of the friction between my supervisors and I was that they simply didn't know what I did all day long! The book suggested frequently bumping into your supervisor and letting them know how you are doing and how your work is going.
Introverts usually take a task or a problem and mull over it in their mind for long periods of time. They don't feel the need to let their manager know how it's going. Instead, they'd rather just let their manager know when they are done. This inclination doesn't cut it with extroverted managers.
Anyway, my relationships with supervisors have dramtically changed for the better since I started frequently letting them know how things are going...
I highly recommend reading the book I mentioned. Get it from your local library though.... I don't think I liked it so much that I'd recommend buying it, however. It's just good for a couple of pointers.
Ah, it's poke-at-the-geeks-friday, eh? Fun, but fairly useless.
You have to understand, the most 'geek' types are highly intelligent (by definition, more than the average) and they/we know it. Moreover, we spend a lot more time than average improving our knowledge and skills. Does this make geeks 'better people'? Nope, but they don't have the same interests as the masses, which is exactly who those shows are designed for...
Most geeks couldn't give a fuck about 'reality tv', and the like. They live in a slightly different reality, where things like 'which languages are better for task X' are important...
Here's something to consider: What is the difference between a geek looking down on (subjectively) stupid activities, and you looking down on (subjectively) arrogant behavior? Is one particularly worse than the other?
just a thought, I could be wrong.
"Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel." - A.B.
The everything2 node for introvert has some interesting information and mentions Carl Jung, who invented this type of classification.
Hi Yall,
:-)
The terms of this artical, were coined in the above book by the above author (1921). Popularizers have followed as has some desending fog....
I warmly recommend reading Jung, as he writes with much heart, which some academics loath.
I think Jung is correct to say that we/humanity is the greatest threat we face or more correctly spend most of our time avoiding. When I see people like Bush in charge, with so little personal insight & so much hubris, it fulls me with dread.
*BFN*
Haralambos
Yeah, It's tough to be on the fence and explore different aspects of an issue. One often looks far to argumentative.
I've taken to using a Socratic approach instead. Ask questions to introduce the realm of the subject or topic. Otherwise, people just don't get that your trying to get the range of the topic instead of bowing to the "mob" mentality where people go along with what everyone else thinks just to "get along".
-------- -------- Support Wesley Clark for president!!!
Alcohol, the great extrovertizer! ( i just made that word up)
;-)
This is George W. Bush incognito right!?!?!?
Actually, Alcohol is a depressent. It only helps overly bubbly, intense uptight people. For the introvert, alcohol can make one withdraw much deeper. Those folks are better off with Marijauna which lends a "mellowing" effect which allows them to withstand the inane nonsense coming out of a bubbly extroverts mouth %-)
-------- -------- Support Wesley Clark for president!!!
I despise talking about myself. I already know everything about myself and see no point in repeating this information, especially to someone with whom I have nothing to talk about. I find it extremely aggrivating when someone tries to get me to 'open up' by barraging me with questions about me and my life. Not all people love talking about themselves, use caution.
Before someone tries to point out that I just spoke of myself for my personal pleasure, the purpose of this comment is to tell seomeone else they're wrong and I'm right, one of the few things I truly enjoy.
Bingo!
I get accused of this all the time. People think that because I am raising my voice, or asking hypothetical, and usually contradictory, questions, I am directly attacking them. They get mad at me because I appear to be going hostile on them, when the reality is that I am just getting caught up in, what is becoming, a very interesting conversation.
Even with my brother, who probably knows me better than anyone else in the world, thinks that I am out to make him look dumb when we talk/argue about things.
The worst is when I am hanging out with a group of friends and some strange comment comes to my mind and my 'internal thought-to-speech filter' fails and I end up making some remark that *I* think is interesting, but the rest of the group thinks is rather dumb. Either they think that I am trying to show off or else they think I am just mentally *out there*, not realizing that if they would give the remark a bit more thought, it would make perfect sense in the context. I used to try to explain this, but the effort it takes makes it unworthwhile. especially when people think you are floundering for an excuse, not trying to make an intelligent explanation.
also, it didn't help that I would tend to become a bit annoyed and emotional, which sure seemed funny as hell to them.
oh well. i would say that I would score pretty solidly in the "introverted" crowd, but deep down I feel very extroverted. When I am in a large group of people that I feel comfortable with, it's refreshing, invigorating, and a lot of fun. then again, some days I just need to be by myself to read or write or whatever.
hmm, i wonder if there is a mid-trovert category?
-John
"The definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing and hoping for different results"
One entire semester & you still can't spell Freud??
That's Exhibit (b) proving you slept through the class, Exhibit (a) being the post itself. Freud dealt with Viennese fruitcakes & so developed his slightly crazy sex-based theories. By all reports he had the most stable, boring sex life one can imagine.
> [Most Introverts] had bad experiences with people in the past.
This is exactly what happened in my situation. I was a slight introvert in High School, somewhere in the middle of the introvert/extrovert spectrum, I guess.
Then I experienced an extreme case of school bullying. It stretched over several years, and any complaints to the school's head of discipline resulted in remarks like "boys will be boys" or "you have to learn to deal with this sort of thing".
In the end, I was almost killed as a result of the bullying, and had a nervous breakdown.
Since then I have been extremely introverted. This introversion is a direct result of the bullying and the subsequent nervous breakdown, and I'm sure that many other introverts have experienced similar events in their past.