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IBM Moving Developer Jobs Overseas
helixcode123 writes "According to the New York Times (also on Yahoo News), IBM is planning on moving a substantial number of high level jobs overseas to 'India and other countries.' IBM argues, in essence, that they need to do this to stay competitive. The article
quotes that Forrester Research '...estimated that 450,000 computer industry jobs could be transferred abroad in the next 12 years, representing 8 percent of the nation's computer jobs.'"
...I'll move to India. That'll fuck em' over!
My only question is, if you have questions with the code, aren't you going to need a translator for the comments?
int a; #Es un variable para el funcion de la red.
American Programmer: Buh?
8 percent!
That means that 92% of us will still be around.
Yippee!!
ee
Antiquated competence won't be a job skill forever.
Okay, I'm in Seattle, and it's already a pretty horrendous job market here - I'm reduced to working a temp job for $10/hr (not in my industry). This is gonna make things even worse. So what's to do? Do we have to have a 'Made by U.S. Programmers' label for software packages?
Welcome to capitalism. You must be new here?
Don't be too perturbed if they make fun of your American accent though.
"dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope"
...named Dilbert.
Well, you are exactly right. Everyone talks about "it's all about profit" or "it's all about returning value to the stockholders." That slogan works as long as its the average two-weeks-a-year schlep who gets whacked. But as soon as you start talking about the CEOs and their highly paid cadre of enablers, you're talking a different story.
Face it, no CEOs or CFOs in the entire world cook the books as well as American CEOs and CFOs.
I'm sure that someone with a higher IQ than the next 10 average customers in line combined wouldn't be good. I had a hard enough time dealing with idiot customers who couldn't figure out how to articulate their order when I worked there as a kid. I can imagine now:
Customer: I want 3 happy meals and 2 big mac meal deals.
Me: What kind of happy meals?
Customer: What kind are there?
Me: Its on the menu. The same place its been since I was 17 years old and working at this joint.
Customer: Hmm...lets see...where is it?
Me: *sigh* in the corner...hamburger, cheesburger, or mcnuggets?
Customer: All hamburger.
Me: Ok, what kind of drink with those?
Customer: With what?
Me: What were we just talking about? Wasn't it happy meals? What kind of drink with the happy meals?
Customer: oh, orange sprite (the list of drinks would have sprite follow orange on the menu, so it was common to have people order "orange sprite")
Me: No, its either orange or its sprite. Which one?
Customer: But it says orange sprite right there.
Me: Oh, so you couldn't find the damn happy meal, but can find the one spot on the menu where the order in which the choices of drink flavor are enumerated is a little ambiguous? It also appears to say diet coke ice-tea there too, but you know that would taste like shit and wouldn't order that. So, no orange-sprite, just orange or sprite. They are mutually exclusive, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!?
Customer: ok, orange. I also want ketchup only on one of the happy meals, pickles only on one, and cheese only on one.
Me: Ok, first, why the hell didn't you specify the toppings were something other than the default back when we were standing on the imaginary circle in the imaginary state diagram that everyone in the world except you seems to follow when ordering fast food? And there is no CHEESE on a HAMBURGER you fucktard! Sorry, state token has expired, YOU EAT THE DEFAULT BIATCH!
Customer: You're rude, I want to speak with your manager!
Manager: What seems to be the problem here?
Customer: I was just trying to order some happy meals and your employee here was being rude and won't give me orange sprite.
Manager: Orange sprite? We don't have orange sprite.
Customer: It says so right there on the menu.
Manager: Hmmm....I see all the drinks, but I don't see orange sprite.
Me: She thinks because orange is next to sprite that it means orange sprite numnutz.
Manager: Oh, we're not allowed to mix drinks.
Me: Can we get this over with please?
Manager: Patience my young padawan burger flipper.
Me: Ok, thats it....where is the nearest sharp instrument? Or would you prefer to be stuffed into the ice machine?
Ah, to be young again....
Is what all this outsourcing means! I've lost over 70 Lbs since I switched to my $10@ week diet. Hooray for layoff's and indian outsourcing!
Remember that everybody in the world hates us.
Now imagine all the opportunities overseas programmers will have to vent that hate. To truly screw over American business.
This really isn't as bad as everybody is making it out to be. It's just another classic example of how American CEO's have lost the ability to think long-term. Companies that do this are going to get burned, badly. And when they come running back to good ole American programming know-how, just remember these golden rules:
1) Everything needs to be rewritten.
2) Every estimate gets padded out to ten times what you think it will really take.
3) Our salary now has to be based on the anticipation that these idiots are going to make the same mistake all over again. Ergo, charge three times what you would normally.
4) There are no cubicles for programmers. Only corner-offices.
And finally...
5) Every one of these corner-offices comes equipped with a foot rest.
(When the CEO complains that he doesn't have time to be a foot rest is the perfect opportunity to inform him about your twelve weeks of vacation every year and three-hour lunch breaks.)
Is this truly the only Earth I can live on?
So, who will buy their software when all IT workers are out of job? They should move the whole manegment overseas... I've heard that CEO's are pretty cheap in Malasia.
You mean to tell me that International Business Machines might employ people in other countries!?
:-P
I hear they are going to change their name to Indian Business Machines
Table-ized A.I.
IBM Moving Jobs Overseas
I didn't know IBM had that kind of clout with Apple. Poor Steve, did he have any say in this at all? What about his family, are they moving too?
A programmer is a machine for converting coffee into code.
and hire a gang of offshore Indian lawyers for $5k/year trained in American labor laws to represent US IT workers
Vince
This and other wonderful translations of your software coming soon.
"a tech union would be nothing more than a band of mediocre complainers..."
;-)
Sounds quite a bit like slashdot
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