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Wearing a Tie May Cause Blindness!

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the hah-we-told-you-so dept.

An anonymous reader noted that there finally is some science to justify not wearing a tie! Doctors have found that wearing a tie too tight causes pressure on the jugular vein, which leads to a build-up of pressure in the eyeballs. Such pressure rises have been linked to glaucoma, which causes blindness. Now, if only some kind researchers could get us all out of wearing pants at the office, we'd be set!

15 of 441 comments (clear)

  1. Fuck pantlessness, let us smoke pot by Hairy_Potter · · Score: 5, Funny

    I work with lots of fat, pasty software devs, I'd rather not see them pantless.

    If we could take pot-breaks to combat blindness, well, now you're talking.

  2. as by radja · · Score: 5, Funny

    for wearing pants: they're optional. you are also allowed to wear a skirt, kilt or dress.

    --

    No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness.
    --Sheikh Abd-Al-Kadir, 1587
    1. Re:as by GnuVince · · Score: 5, Funny

      Only if your reputation would be totally destroyed if your genitals were exposed

  3. Re:more than you bargained for... by Latent+IT · · Score: 5, Funny

    Thanks to working with IT people, I can assure you, the patterns on the ties these people pick out are far more damaging to my eyesight than any pressure on my jugular vein, thanks.

  4. Paid for by the Clinton Foundation by AtariAmarok · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Now, if only some kind researchers could get us all out of wearing pants at the office, we'd be set! "

    Researches funded by the William Jefferson Clinton Foundation are feverishly working on this one, don't worry.

    --
    Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
  5. Makes sense... by Dr.+Bent · · Score: 5, Funny

    I guess this explains why most CEO's can't see past next quarter's earnings report. If only the corporate culture at Worldcom and Enron was a little bit more casual...

  6. Obligatory Simpsons' quote by proverbialcow · · Score: 5, Funny

    "I hope he tells us to burn our pants, cause these things are really riding up on me."

    and later on...

    "Don't you hate pants?!"

    pcow

    --
    The only surefire protection against Microsoft infections is abstinence. - The Onion
  7. uhoh by falconed · · Score: 5, Funny
    let's see... wearing a tie makes you go blind...

    *takes off his belt*

    --
    USE='clever' emerge -u sig
  8. Re:No Pants? by PhoenixK7 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "I would gauge my eyes out."

    How does one do that? Is it like checking eyeball fluid pressure?

  9. Also by Znonymous+Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Women wearing shirts and bras will get breast cancer. Please consider removing them ASAP to help cure cancer!

    --

    Karma: The shiznight, mostly because I am the Drizzle.

  10. Re:No problem here... by echucker · · Score: 5, Funny

    Smells like a new poll idea to me....

    "What do you wear to work?"
    Suit
    Shirt, tie, and slacks
    Polos and khakis
    T-shirt and jeans
    Shorts and sandals
    I telecommute, you insensitive clod!
    I left my clothes at CowboyNeal's last night

  11. Re:Get a decent one by pclminion · · Score: 5, Funny
    I don't see how "very comfortable to wear" and "feel them cutting into my throat" are compatible statements.

    I'm just glad management wears ties. It's something to strangle the fuckers with if I see the need.

  12. Re:No problem here... by procifer · · Score: 5, Funny

    let's just be honest,
    if you telecommute, it's pretty much guaranteed you work naked; well, it'd be stupid not to.

  13. Let me get this straight... by HerbalSpiderMonkey · · Score: 5, Funny

    Recently, we have heard that:

    1. Masturbating keeps your prostate healthy.

    2. Eating pizza helps prevent cancer

    3. Not wearing a tie can preserve your eyesight

    Bout time we had a run of good news :D

  14. What is a tie? by mummers · · Score: 5, Funny

    Surely it is nothing more than an arrow directing your co-workers in the direction of your genitalia.
    I'm not sure what this says about people who wear bowties...

    --
    --This isn't a man who is leaving with his head between his legs.