Posted by
CmdrTaco
on from the thats-a-lotta-legal-fees dept.
este writes "According to an article in the Inquirer, if the RIAA maintains its rate of lawsuit issuance, it will take more than two millenia for them to sue evey P2P file trader. The author accounts for many additional difficulties facing the RIAA in this daunting task."
I realize it's just humor, but the point of the RIAA's suits is to deter people from using p2p under fear that they will get sued.
But if there are 60 million p2p users, the probability of getting sued is pretty low, even if it does depend on the number of files you have shared.
Perhaps the next version of KaZaA will have a suit-o-meter, that will actively display your probability of being sued by the RIAA;)
But won't most of the copyrights expire by then?
by
EvilTwinSkippy
·
· Score: 5, Funny
Last I checked the copyright termes were 90 years after the death of the artist. Oh god, they must be planning on keeping the Backstreet Boys in suspended animation.
Should have read THAT on the contract before signing.
-- "Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
--Dr.W.Edwards Deming
Re:It's the deterrent, stupid.
by
darien
·
· Score: 5, Funny
It's not about getting them all - - it's about nailing a few and scaring the rest
Reminds me of my days in that co-ed dorm.
Re:Sounds like a profit model to me...
by
EvilTwinSkippy
·
· Score: 5, Funny
On the contrary. Humans expire just like copyrights. What are they going to sue, the person's heirs?
No wait, don't answer that...
-- "Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
--Dr.W.Edwards Deming
In an unheard of move, the RIAA has decided to use a basic P2P scheme to have its law ordinance sent to everybody.
A cascade chain of Court Letters will be sent from Lawyer branch to Lawyer branch and only the lasts in the distribution tree will have to send the letters.
After the close observation, the RIAA has been put to court by Bittorrent inventor.
Also, the Courts are looking at this apparent pyramidal scheme as a new, innovative way to collect money from unsuspecting lusers.
See you later, this was AN, from Slashdot News Channel...
-- It takes 40+ muscles to frown, but only four to extend your arm and bitchslap the motherfucker
Re:Sounds like a profit model to me...
by
i8urtaco
·
· Score: 3, Funny
And we had to program in the snow! Uphill! And every five minutes we'd have to give the hamster inside the power supply an electric shock to start his heart, but that was only after we kick started the backup motor!
I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist.
Re:Sounds like a profit model to me...
by
Rhubarb+Crumble
·
· Score: 5, Funny
Thus the cases RiAA has would to deal with would grow exponentially every year.
And so would the amount of damages they could (potentially) claim.
Which basically means that the RIAA can stop publishing music altogether and just turn itself into a consortium of lawyers. After all, with infinite future income (from damages) guaranteed by Congress and Disney Corp., how can they lose!
the solution is obvious
by
leekwen
·
· Score: 4, Funny
this is obviously too much for one person to handle. we need to create a distributed network among kazaa network users.
i will start by suing myself. you can help too by donating your spare cpu cycles towards our cause.
Re:It's the deterrent, stupid.
by
Dutchmaan
·
· Score: 4, Funny
So in essence the RIAA uses tactics of a police state... I'm sure glad they don't have influence in our government! (for the humor impaired that was tongue in cheek)
Let A Man Do The Calculations
by
tds67
·
· Score: 5, Funny
She said: "I pulled out my calculator to see just how long it would take the RIAA to sue all 60 million P2P music file traders at a rate of 75 a day. 60,000,000/75 = 800,000 days to subpoena each person or 800,000 days/365 days in a year = 2191.78 years to subpoena each person".
Hey babe, let me show you how a man calculates all this: After whipping out my sliderule and factoring in the size of the aforementioned subpoenis', I come up with 2200.25, a much bigger number.
When they file the BIG one...
by
r_j_prahad
·
· Score: 2, Funny
That kid I used to tease about his name in secondary school, Zwykowski or something like that, I'll bet he's laughing his ass off now.
Re:It's the deterrent, stupid.
by
tds67
·
· Score: 1, Funny
It's not about getting them all - - it's about nailing a few and scaring the rest.
Reminds me of my days in that co-ed dorm.
I was luckier: I scared a few but nailed the rest.
60 million minus one
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 2, Funny
Actually, they would only have to shut down 59,999,999 file traders. The last guy would have nobody to share with.
That should shave a few seconds off...
I suggest an opt-out model...
by
jkrise
·
· Score: 5, Funny
RIAA says: We sue the whole world for P2P misuse. Those who think they've been sued wronly, please opt-out by visiting the nearest court, depositing $5 towards opt-out costs and inform us over Kazaa er.. e-mail.
Failure to opt-out would mean that you plead guilty, the penalty for which is 95% of all earnings, including future earnings, over the next 2191.78 years...
PS: If you have paid our associate SCO, you have been automatically opted-out.
Done.
-
-- If you keep throwing chairs, one day you'll break windows....
You'd be more believable
by
Microsift
·
· Score: 5, Funny
If you weren't bragging about your past sexual conquests on a site whose subtitle includes the words "News for Nerds"
-- My other sig is extremely clever...
Re:It's the deterrent, stupid.
by
BrynM
·
· Score: 4, Funny
no, i just keep up with the flow of traffic! everyone else is doing it, why shouldnt i?
You're stealing time! You can call it "saving time" or "being in a hury", but you are outright stealing! How are the county clerks and local legal system going to get fed? Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't make it moral!
Sorry, someone had to give a mock anti-filesharer response.
-- US Democracy:The best person for the job (among These pre-selected choices...)
Re:Sounds like a profit model to me...
by
Divide+By+Zero
·
· Score: 3, Funny
Humans expire just like copyrights. ...which is to say, not at all. So when I'm about to die, I can be renewed in perpetuity? Cool.
If the RIAA can milk recording artists for money well after the artist is dead, I should be able to, erm, liberate the music well after I'm dead. Not that I will die - I'll have my friends renew me.
-- Dare to Hope. Prepare to be Disappointed.
Re:Article text
by
cheeseSource
·
· Score: 3, Funny
They didn't include the extra day in a leap year in the calculation. That'll shave some time off...
Fuck the RIAA and Mitch Bainwol
-- (Sponsored by cheeseSource for President 2012)
How to profit from the RIAA
by
tekrat
·
· Score: 3, Funny
Just like with the terrorists, we should start a website for betting on who the RIAA will sue first. Then, if you bet on yourself, and place a good bet, you'll win enough money to finance your defense.
It's a futures market for RIAA lawsuits, aka "America's New Economy".
-- If telephones are outlawed, then only outlaws will have telephones.
Foxtrot strikes a chord...
by
Demodian
·
· Score: 2, Funny
Seems like
Foxtrot from Monday did a good job of making fun of this whole silly mess. Too bad we can not turn the tides on RIAA as easily as Jason.
We didn't have these newfangled P2P file sharers back in dubya-dubya-one. In my day, we had to scratch the grooves into records ourselves, and WE LIKED IT!
The point being that if you can't get your music through networked P2P, how about trying my new service? I'm calling it RLP2P. In this fantastic new model, you invite your friends over with their files burned to CDs/CDRWs and trade them your own. I'd like to see the RIAA stop that!
Or here's a novel one for those college-folk. Once a week make a trip with the rest of your floor/group of friends to Wal-Mart. Everyone buys a CD and a pack of CDRs. When you get back, everyone goes to their rooms (or their friends' rooms if they don't have a CDRW drive) and makes as many copies of their CDs as people want. That way you can get 15 CDs a week for a little over 20 bucks, with no chance of getting caught. The best part is that you get one CD that's CD quality (being your CD) and the rest just slightly under, having been directly copied from the master instead of converted to MP3 in the interim.
PS: PayPal donations can be addressed to me.
Re:A Different Approach...
by
Alton_Brown
·
· Score: 2, Funny
Let's say of 75 people... they each have 15 close friends... this makes for 6275... 10%... 2%... thousands of dollars...
This is the RIAA, not Amway;)
Just do what the MPAA does
by
Guardian+Hacker
·
· Score: 2, Funny
If my observations are correct, the MPAA has come up with the perfect method for stopping people from stealing their works... and, with groups like O-Town it looks like the RIAA has begun to catch on:
If you make a shitty product, nobody is going to want to steal it.
That seems like about the right amount of time to finally play something original on the radio. I'll consider that a promise!
Re:Sounds like a profit model to me...
by
ediron2
·
· Score: 4, Funny
Luckily for **AA, copyrights will still be in effect for all currently-protected songs even after 2000 years, thanks to the Son-of-SonnyBono Act of 2010, Bono-Back-from-Beyond (2055), I-was-a-teenage-mutant-ninja-Bono Act of 2173, and Bono-until-the-year-2525 Act of 2225.
On the contrary. Humans expire just like copyrights. What are they going to sue, the person's heirs?
No wait, don't answer that...
RIAA: Who says copyrights expire!? Damn liar, step up and be seen!
PS: Has anyone else ever chuckled at the irony of perhaps lobbying for copyright to be extended retroactively forever, just so Mickey Mouse (and Sonny Bono's estate!) could get the bejeebers sued out of him by the estate of the Brothers Grimm, et al? It'd force a reality-check on the lobbyists who are whitewashing congress with this belief that consumers are the only cheap-ass nigglin' thieves who want to use stuff without paying a royalty.
Slashdot Mirror
They probably will sue everyone about 1000 years after the earth crashes into the sun.
- what is the definition of simultanagnosia?! I've been meaning to look it up!
Great.. with my luck I'll be served in the first 200 years.
Jason Fox has them flummoxed.
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
That means that everyone that their last name starts with a letter greater than B has absolutely nothing to worry about!
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
I realize it's just humor, but the point of the RIAA's suits is to deter people from using p2p under fear that they will get sued.
;)
But if there are 60 million p2p users, the probability of getting sued is pretty low, even if it does depend on the number of files you have shared.
Perhaps the next version of KaZaA will have a suit-o-meter, that will actively display your probability of being sued by the RIAA
Should have read THAT on the contract before signing.
"Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
--Dr.W.Edwards Deming
It's not about getting them all - - it's about nailing a few and scaring the rest
Reminds me of my days in that co-ed dorm.
No wait, don't answer that...
"Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
--Dr.W.Edwards Deming
In an unheard of move, the RIAA has decided to use a basic P2P scheme to have its law ordinance sent to everybody.
A cascade chain of Court Letters will be sent from Lawyer branch to Lawyer branch and only the lasts in the distribution tree will have to send the letters.
After the close observation, the RIAA has been put to court by Bittorrent inventor.
Also, the Courts are looking at this apparent pyramidal scheme as a new, innovative way to collect money from unsuspecting lusers.
See you later, this was AN, from Slashdot News Channel...
It takes 40+ muscles to frown, but only four to extend your arm and bitchslap the motherfucker
And we had to program in the snow! Uphill! And every five minutes we'd have to give the hamster inside the power supply an electric shock to start his heart, but that was only after we kick started the backup motor!
I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist.
And so would the amount of damages they could (potentially) claim.
Which basically means that the RIAA can stop publishing music altogether and just turn itself into a consortium of lawyers. After all, with infinite future income (from damages) guaranteed by Congress and Disney Corp., how can they lose!
this is obviously too much for one person to handle. we need to create a distributed network among kazaa network users.
i will start by suing myself. you can help too by donating your spare cpu cycles towards our cause.
So in essence the RIAA uses tactics of a police state... I'm sure glad they don't have influence in our government! (for the humor impaired that was tongue in cheek)
That's enough attorneys laid end to end to cover every sidewalk in New York.
Hey babe, let me show you how a man calculates all this: After whipping out my sliderule and factoring in the size of the aforementioned subpoenis', I come up with 2200.25, a much bigger number.
That kid I used to tease about his name in secondary school, Zwykowski or something like that, I'll bet he's laughing his ass off now.
Reminds me of my days in that co-ed dorm.
I was luckier: I scared a few but nailed the rest.
Actually, they would only have to shut down 59,999,999 file traders. The last guy would have nobody to share with.
That should shave a few seconds off...
RIAA says: We sue the whole world for P2P misuse. Those who think they've been sued wronly, please opt-out by visiting the nearest court, depositing $5 towards opt-out costs and inform us over Kazaa er.. e-mail.
Failure to opt-out would mean that you plead guilty, the penalty for which is 95% of all earnings, including future earnings, over the next 2191.78 years...
PS: If you have paid our associate SCO, you have been automatically opted-out.
Done.
-
If you keep throwing chairs, one day you'll break windows....
If you weren't bragging about your past sexual conquests on a site whose subtitle includes the words "News for Nerds"
My other sig is extremely clever...
Sorry, someone had to give a mock anti-filesharer response.
US Democracy:The best person for the job (among These pre-selected choices...)
Humans expire just like copyrights. ...which is to say, not at all. So when I'm about to die, I can be renewed in perpetuity? Cool.
If the RIAA can milk recording artists for money well after the artist is dead, I should be able to, erm, liberate the music well after I'm dead. Not that I will die - I'll have my friends renew me.
Dare to Hope. Prepare to be Disappointed.
They didn't include the extra day in a leap year in the calculation. That'll shave some time off...
Fuck the RIAA and Mitch Bainwol
(Sponsored by cheeseSource for President 2012)
Just like with the terrorists, we should start a website for betting on who the RIAA will sue first. Then, if you bet on yourself, and place a good bet, you'll win enough money to finance your defense.
It's a futures market for RIAA lawsuits, aka "America's New Economy".
If telephones are outlawed, then only outlaws will have telephones.
Seems like Foxtrot from Monday did a good job of making fun of this whole silly mess. Too bad we can not turn the tides on RIAA as easily as Jason.
We didn't have these newfangled P2P file sharers back in dubya-dubya-one. In my day, we had to scratch the grooves into records ourselves, and WE LIKED IT! The point being that if you can't get your music through networked P2P, how about trying my new service? I'm calling it RLP2P. In this fantastic new model, you invite your friends over with their files burned to CDs/CDRWs and trade them your own. I'd like to see the RIAA stop that! Or here's a novel one for those college-folk. Once a week make a trip with the rest of your floor/group of friends to Wal-Mart. Everyone buys a CD and a pack of CDRs. When you get back, everyone goes to their rooms (or their friends' rooms if they don't have a CDRW drive) and makes as many copies of their CDs as people want. That way you can get 15 CDs a week for a little over 20 bucks, with no chance of getting caught. The best part is that you get one CD that's CD quality (being your CD) and the rest just slightly under, having been directly copied from the master instead of converted to MP3 in the interim. PS: PayPal donations can be addressed to me.
Let's say of 75 people ... they each have 15 close friends... this makes for 6275... 10% ... 2%... thousands of dollars...
;)
This is the RIAA, not Amway
If my observations are correct, the MPAA has come up with the perfect method for stopping people from stealing their works... and, with groups like O-Town it looks like the RIAA has begun to catch on:
If you make a shitty product, nobody is going to want to steal it.
Last time I checked, 2001: A Space Travesty (2000), From Justin to Kelly (2003), Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde (2003) and Santa with Muscles (1996) aren't exactly topping the p2p charts.
We're working on it. We just need more lions.
That seems like about the right amount of time to finally play something original on the radio. I'll consider that a promise!
RIAA: Who says copyrights expire!? Damn liar, step up and be seen!
PS: Has anyone else ever chuckled at the irony of perhaps lobbying for copyright to be extended retroactively forever, just so Mickey Mouse (and Sonny Bono's estate!) could get the bejeebers sued out of him by the estate of the Brothers Grimm, et al? It'd force a reality-check on the lobbyists who are whitewashing congress with this belief that consumers are the only cheap-ass nigglin' thieves who want to use stuff without paying a royalty.
Hello,
You've been sued by the RIAA! We've provided a means for you to be sued quickly and securely through our website. Click on the link below:
http://www.riaa.org/sue.cgi?ticket=A1847XZ54
and enter your payment details. You ordered these songs:
Linkin Park/Generic NuMetal
$250,000
Britney Spears/Am I Still Popular?
$250,000
Shipping
$0.00
Total
$500,000
Please send payment within 7-10 business days or be subject to serving life in prison.
Thanks again for stealing from the RIAA!