Slashdot Mirror
Meet Martin Taylor Of Microsoft's Open Source Test Lab
securitas writes "Martin Taylor was recently appointed as Microsoft's open source and Linux strategist and is responsible for Microsoft's open source and Linux test lab, mentioned on Slashdot last week. Taylor says his goal is to change Microsoft's competitive strategy by pursuing a fact-based approach instead of continuing the previous discredit-and-undermine strategy that was characterized by calling open source and Linux software 'a cancer, un-American and bankrupt' among other things. Taylor says he plans to focus on (and fund) studies that 'will highlight Microsoft's advantages in areas such as security, feature-completeness and total cost of ownership.'"
Martin Taylor is actually a revolutionary new AI developed by Microsoft. He'll be a part of Windows 2005 if everything goes smoothly. Think of him as Microsoft Bob's grandson.
The "good cop, bad cop" strategy. Those guys are just too much...
.sig
I see into... the future... I see this "lab" only producing... whitepapers where Microsoft.... wins!
Whoa. There's a surprise.
Belief is the currency of delusion.
"by focusing on 'just the facts.'"
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"by focusing on 'just the facts.'"
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"by focusing on 'just the facts.'"
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"by focusing on 'just the facts.'"
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Please contact your harware vendor.
0 posts visible at a mere +2. 26 replies beneath your current threshold. Behold the power of Microsoft.
If Martin Taylor the guitarist knows he's got
an evil alter ego at MS?
siggy played guitar
Like a cancer, which is primarily defined as 'cells that keep growing unchecked', Linux server usage can fit into this category. Therefore, Linux is a tumor on Microsoft server market share.
Linux is un-American. When you use a Linux machine, you are at the whim of a Finn, Linus Torvalds. Think about it. A Finn. Contrast this to Microsoft, where wholesome American coding practices abound.
Linux is bankrupt. One only needs to look at whoever made Nautilus, I forgot the name. Mandrake, of course, is also going through the process of bankruptcy.
No kidding. Those MS fanboys refuse to gobble up any anti-MS FUD. What's up with that?
--
me
[...] highlight Microsoft's advantages in areas such as security [...]
Microsoft's products surely have advantages over their open source counterparts, but security? Come on!
Fact: XP runs faster than RH9.0
Untold: the XP was running on a 3GHz P4 w/ 512MB and the RH9.0 was on a 400MHz P2 with 256MB of RAM
Fact: MS OS'es have less bugs than Linux
Untold: Because one bug in SSH counts at least 15 times -- once per distro.
Fact: MS is more secure than Linux
Untold: The MS box tested was fully patched, running NO services, was connected to an ISA firewall...and to no other computer. They'll also forget to mention that the machine wasn't turned on.
Fact-based campaign. Will half-truths be considered facts?
Taylor says he plans to focus on (and fund) studies that 'will highlight Microsoft's advantages in areas such as security
Microsoft announced today that they are laying off a Mr. Marting Taylor, citing the fact that he had no work to do.
Taylor, head of Microsoft Linux Open Source Test Lab, said today 'fact-based studies focusing on areas such as security, feature-completeness and total cost of ownership.' conclusively prove:
Linux is 'a cancer, un-American and bankrupt', among other things.
Microsoft: Same cr*p, different way.
"Microsoft's products surely have advantages over their open source counterparts, but security? Come on!"
Of course! When was the last time anyone broke into a machine that was down?
Oh, so that's what the blue screen is for!
I will never curse the glorius blue screen of security again!
And I thought MY job sucked. ;)
- First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then ???, then profit.
is the real father.
You can't judge a book by the way it wears its hair.
by the company one keeps.
Working for Microsoft's FUD squad ranks somewhere between selling crack to school children and the SCO management team.
In case you're wondering, the crack dealer is the more respectable of the three.
PC moderators can suck my White pierced, tattooed dick. If you think pride == hate, s/dick/Aryan meat mallet/g.
subject asks it all.
try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
It's clear from reading Slashdot that Microsoft could benefit from embracing the open source values of Linux just like Linux could benefit from the satanic worship and baby sacrifice that Microsoft utilizes in its development process.
But Linux DOES cost more than Windows! Just check the price sheet at SCO!
Fact was a nice word, I'll miss it. But no matter, we still have the teeshirt:
Front side
picture: Iraqi minister of communications
caption: "there are no Americans in Iraq"
Back side
picture: his Billness
caption: "there are no bugs in Microsoft software"
...they only use Microsoft(c)(R)(tm)-compatible facts. After all, you can't trust just any old fact, can you? What good is a fact if it hasn't been centrally acknowledged by a competent corporation? It needs to be passed as Factually-Uniform Documentation.
Got time? Spend some of it coding or testing
MicroSoft test results:
In this test, we are running the latest WindowsXP on this 3Ghz Intel processor with 2GB memory and 200GB disk, and running Linux on a compariable 30Mhz 386SX with 2MB memory and a 200MB disk, and our tests conclusively prove that WindowsXP is almost twice as fast as Linux running equivelent programs!
Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
He is also the person who discovered Amdahl's law
Wow, what are the chances of that?
*ducks*
c-hack.com |
Has this guy ever studied the scientific method. Oh wait, stupid me. He works for microsoft. They invented their own science.
Taylor says he plans to focus on (and fund) studies that 'will highlight Microsoft's advantages in areas such as security, feature-completeness and total cost of ownership. Looks like he can spend alot of time at /.!
takes out small pad of paper.
;)
writes "Martin Taylor -- EoL".
now your on my list.
EoL = "Enemy of Linux"
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
but... I don't think the average Microsoft tester could spot a bug if it was a 8 inches long, and crawling across his face.
Yep, it's spreading, now even MS has it.
The phrase you're looking for is "smoke and mirrors". As in, what a conjuror uses to conceal his trick. Of course, it's quite possible that you really did mean "smoking mirrors" but you're going to have to explain what that means because quite frankly, I haven't a fucking clue.
Will this be shortened to the Microsoft-LOST Lab? ;-)
He's certainly not going to win a Pullet Surprise like that.