FWB Admits RealPC for Mac OS X was Vaporware

reiggin writes "In a press release on their site, FWB's new management comes clean and says that the former management had been lying about an upcoming RealPC OS X release. Apparently, not one line of code had even been written. This is a huge disappointment for anyone looking for an alternative to the now-MS owned Virtual PC (which, incidentally, Apple and Microsoft have said will not initially run on a G5)."

Comments

SCO sues FWB for copyright infringement

[Anonymous Coward]

SCO today announced they would be suing FWB, non-makers of the non-existant RealPC OS, over their use of SCO's intellectual property in their code. "Just like SCO, FWB has not written one line of code in this OS, and for that, they will pay." said SCO's lead attorney Michael Newstrom.

New Strategy!

[PopeAlien]

"Honesty and openness with the user base is a cornerstone of the new management team. "

This strategy was struck upon after it was discovered that the previous strategy of dishonesty and disceit was not as effective as originally hoped.

Look out SCO!

here you go kids, a start

[Anonymous Coward]

#include

int main()
{
}

now get to it!

Re:here you go kids, a start

[PetoskeyGuy]

"Unfortunately, the same guys that do the development had to do the rebranding," said Prewitt. "We're all wearing different hats. We ended up ceasing development on it for about a week," he said."

They already had that part, but they had to rebrand it remember.

/** RealPC
*
* TODO:
* Write Program
*/

#include <stdio.h>

int main()
{
cout << "Hello World, from RealPC";
exit(0);
}

And it only took them a week

Re:here you go kids, a start

[coolmacdude]

Apple will go bankrupt before it will write a function called NSWindowsEmulator.

Blame it on the previous guy

[FearUncertaintyDoubt]

Recent management changes at FWB has led to a major evaluation of the status of development work including Realpc...

"The previous management had made claims in press interviews and on the company website regarding the status and upcoming release of RealPC OSX claiming it was in late beta and about to be released...I am sorry to have to admit that apparently the company has been a party to vaporware when it comes to the claims regarding RealPC."

Reminds me of an old joke...

Stalin is dying, and summons Comrade Khrushchev to his bedside. Wheezing his last few words with difficulty, Stalin tells Khrushchev, "Comrade, the reins of the country are now in your hands. But before I go, I want to give you some advice."

"Yes, yes, Great Leader, what is it?" says Khrushchev. Reaching under his pillow, Stalin produces two envelopes marked 1 and 2. "Take these letters," he tells Khrushchev. "Keep them safely - don't open them. Only if the country is in turmoil and things start going bad, open the first one. That'll give you some advice on what to do. And, even after that, if things start going REALLY bad, open the second one." And with a gasp Stalin breathed his last.

Well, Khrushchev succeeded him, and sure enough, within a few years things started going bad - unemployment increased, crops failed, people became restless. Nikita decided it was time to open the first letter. All it said was: "Blame everything on me!" So Khrushchev launched a massive deStalinization campaign, and blamed Josef for all the excesses and purges and ills of the present system, and bought himself some time that way.

But things continued on the downside - Kennedy successfully rebuffed Soviet missiles in Cuba, unemployment increased even more, crops failed even more, the Politburo was unhappy with Khrushchev's leadership and upstarts like Brezhnev and Gromyko were threatening his credibility. So finally, after much deliberation, Nikita opened the second letter.

All it said was: "Write two letters."

Re:Blame it on the previous guy

[emptybody]

Actually the joke is Three letters.

The Company President is leaving after a particularly grim period. On the eve of his departure, he speaks with his successor telling him that if he has any problems there are three envelopes in the desk that were presented to him when he took the reigns of the company and that he should open one of them if he really needs help.

A year goes by and the company is having serious problems that our hero cannot resolve.
He opens the First envelope and reads:
"Blame your predecessor."

He does this and is able to circle the wagons and work with existing management to resolve the problems.

2 more years pass and again the company is in dire straits. He opens the Second Envelope and reads:
"Accept the blame for yourself."

He does this and is yet again able to circle up the wagons and working closely with management and employees is able to resolve the impending crises and bring the company back from the brink.

A few more years pass and we find our hero sitting at his desk gazing at a sealed envelope. The company is failing. people are leaving in droves. He has done all he can. With his last glimmer of hope he opens the third envelope and begins to read:

"First, prepare three envelopes..."

Re:Wine?

[Anonymous Coward]

Plus, wouldn't WINE require a command line? Everyone knows that no Mac has a CLI.

Re:Now isn't *that* a surprise?

[demo9orgon]

Ugh!

I just had this terrible vision of a thousand foot Venn diagram towering over a blackened charred world lit only by buzzing corporate logos, displaying the visual for your assertion, supported on the backs of countless Discrete mathematicians who are happily writing proofs despite the onerous weight of what they bear...

Damn, this is good Diet Pepsi (the essential 12939 formula sans corn syrup).

Re:Wine?

[Anonymous Coward]

you'd have to change WINE's name first.

Vaporware?

[siskbc]

(Insert obligatory Duke Nukem reference here)

Generic CEOs

[fizban]

For more information please contact ceo@fwb.com

So you never have to update your address book when the CEO of the company changes, because it happens a lot...

Other news...

[leomekenkamp]

Other news of today:

Duke Nukem Forever has gone into beta, according to a spokesman from 3D Realms: "[Duke Nukem Forever] is good on track, and we are looking forward to the moment the code comes out of beta stage and goes into production."

Rumors about a management buy-out by angry Duke Dukem fans were said to be "(...) completely unfounded and untrue (...)". There were reports of large groups of DNF fans, who collectively put $0.05 in their bank accounts when DNF was first announced; the plan was to use the accumulated interest for the management buy-out.

Re:Wine?

[stratjakt]

Bochs register-by-register emulation is going to be faster than VirtualPCs dynarec core? And then adding WINE and X11 to the fray?

You think that's going to be faster?

Cheaper, sure. In the same way that dog turds are cheaper than chocolate bars.

Crap

[Sir Rhosys]

How am I suppose to play Duke Nukem Forever on my wife's new Mac?

Re:There's always bochs

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah and there's also a bottle of molasses sitting in my kitchen cupboard.

It runs about as fast as Bochs.

Re:There's always bochs

[Jon Abbott]

Hey, with the G5, maybe Bochs will finally run fast! [ducks for cover]

Summed up perfectly

[coreytamas]

This was over at MacSlash:

"The new RealPC was fake and the VirtualPC was real, but now the new VirtualPC is owned by the folks responsible for the real PCs, and the RealPC is virtually toast."

And people say poetry is dead.