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Distro Taste Test - Linux and Beer

An anonymous reader writes "Those Aussies are mad!!! Linux is an international phenomenon, drawing in developers and users from all over the globe. This diversity is reflected in the enormous number of flavours (or distributions) it is available in. This cornucopia of names reminds me of nothing so much as the world of beer. I thought it would be entertaining to look for parallels between some notable distros and the beers of the world."

30 of 229 comments (clear)

  1. Linux beer? by spydir31 · · Score: 5, Funny

    You can keep your Yellow Dog beer to yourself, thanks

    1. Re:Linux beer? by imtheguru · · Score: 4, Funny

      Fine then, i will!
      [continues to drink the Fosters.]

      --
      Yet Socrates himself is particularly missed.
      A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed.
    2. Re:Linux beer? by cdemon6 · · Score: 2, Funny

      And what have having sex on a boat and american beer in common?

      They're both fucking close to water... ;)

    3. Re:Linux beer? by fshalor · · Score: 2

      ERROR:... I disagree, as I should with most of these. So here's my list:

      MS Windows: Coors lite (win95) , Michilob Ultra, (win98), Miller Lite (winNT); High Life (WinXP) ; Kiri Irchih (yes, made by bud..:( ) (win2k) ; Bud (winXP)

      Red Hat : Heinikin. (How Could they POSSIBLY say Guniess?!) Redhat isn't that good. And, there are a lot of people who can't stand the nectar of the gods (Guiness), but will guzzle heines all day.

      Debian: guiness or bass, depending on install. Black and Tan also possible with the right spoon. This is the best there is :)

      SuSe Weinstephaner. Warsteiner isn't quite good enough. Good old wholesome beer for a good wholesome linux.

      Gentoo : home brew is probably right. Joshua's schtuff coupled with Silas's "The **it!" Good if you make it good. Annoying if you screw up the mix.

      Slackware : Old Peculiar, if small install, go with John Courage. I think a Zipslack install may be like Corona with a lime.

      Mac OS X: Corsendak, all the way. It needs the right glas, as found in their hardware.

      Max OS pre-X : derges selections. Good beer; what you buy when you're poor.

      SunOS: Hmmm...Grolsh. (Yes, the nearly ungrocabke flavor, jon.) Okay, if you like the taste. If you're really into sunos, and are used to having fscked up paths and no (-h).

      OpenVMS: Urikel, a acidic pilsner.

      *BSD: really freakin awsome mexican beer. Negro Modelo if it works. If you fsck up the install, it can get like dosX. Seguin Derecho!

      SCO: Draino. :)

      --
      -=fshalor ::this post not spellchecked. move along::
    4. Re:Linux beer? by cha0sadddddddd · · Score: 2, Funny

      SCO: Draino. :)

      hahahahah funny shit man.

      im not usually a spelling nazi but its grok not groc.

      --
      Collecting data is only the first step toward wisdom. But sharing data is the first step toward community
  2. hey, us aussies rock! by Debug+This · · Score: 2, Funny

    haha, next we'll see australian sites making parallels between linux and the crocodile hunter. doesnt do much for our racial stereotype, but hey - cheers and beers for all!

  3. mmm red hat by tolldog · · Score: 4, Funny

    So having a glass of Red Hat on the way to your systems administration job isn't so bad any more...
    "I was studying up... honest."

    --
    -I just work here... how am I supposed to know?
  4. I'd compare this article with the head on top. by Limburgher · · Score: 4, Funny
    It's light and fluffy, providing no real substance, but, like with the head on a Guiness, is not only a definitive part of the experience but an excellent place to write your initial.

    L

    --

    You are not the customer.

    1. Re:I'd compare this article with the head on top. by Timesprout · · Score: 3, Funny

      Those of us who have been students in Ireland can confirm that the head of a Guinness does indeed have substance and in fact Guinness in sufficent quantity can form the staple of an almost healthy and nutritious diet for the average student.

      --
      Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
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    2. Re:I'd compare this article with the head on top. by Limburgher · · Score: 4, Funny
      I agree that it had substance, I merely meant in comparison to the remainder of the pint. Would you really go to the pub for two or three pints of nothing but head?

      I mean, on your beer.

      I mean, ahhhh, crap.

      --

      You are not the customer.

  5. VB by Unominous+Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Luckily VB doesn't have a parallel in the Linux world.

    --
    "Smoking helps you lose weight - one lung at a time" -- A. E. Neumann
  6. Re:Red Hat = Guinness ??? by Angry+White+Guy · · Score: 2, Funny

    No, Newcastle Brown. Real easy to drink, gives you a good time, and leaves you with a pounding headache and a lot of regret the next day. Although the Slack/Guiness thing is about right.

    --
    You think that I'm crazy, you should see this guy!
  7. No French Beers?!? by apdt · · Score: 2, Insightful

    From the article...

    ....character of it's home country of France. Sadly, good. well-known beer is a little thin on the ground there, so we will borrow from neighbouring Belgium to complement Mandrake.

    Have these people never heard of Stella Artois or Kronenbourg 1664

    I can only pity them if that's the case.

    --
    I lay awake last night wondering where the sun had gone, then it dawned on me.
  8. Two words: by RLiegh · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Visual Tcl/tk

  9. Re:Aussie Beer == crap by chesapeake · · Score: 2, Insightful

    You sure you haven't been drinking Foster's?

    We don't touch the stuff here, and only export it to stupid foreigners, who don't know better :-p

  10. Imagine if the analogy went further: by Sylvius · · Score: 5, Funny

    Bud would cost $100 for a sixer, while they'd be passing out pints of Guiness on the street for free. Oh imagine the joy!

  11. ob simpsons quote by geeveees · · Score: 2, Funny

    Homer: "hmmm something special about this Red Tick beer!"

    ...meanwhile in Red Tick brewery...

    Brewer tastes beer.

    Brewer: "Hmm needs more dog."

    --
    I am a viral sig. Please help me spread.
  12. Re:bah? by Zilch · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Mel Gibson was born in the USA. Nicole Kidman was born in Hawaii. Russel Crow was born in New Zealand.

    Zilch.

  13. Re:Aussie Beer == crap by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Fosters: It's american for canadian beer with an australian image.

  14. Drinking Australian Beer outside Australia by Tpenta · · Score: 2, Informative

    If you are drinking Australian Beer outside of Australia then you really can't judge the good ones. Generally, it's the crap that gets exported. There are a lot of really good domestic beers that don't get exported. James Squire springs to mind as one.

    Tp.

    1. Re:Drinking Australian Beer outside Australia by demonbug · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Same problem in the U.S., though I somehow doubt that most foreign countries allow us to export Bud or Coors, as it would probably be seen as an act of war. There are hundreds (probably thousands, but I don't drink that much beer) of great micro and mid-size breweries, probably few if any of which export to foreign countries (okay, maybe to Canada, but I mean foreign countries, not just other countries).

    2. Re:Drinking Australian Beer outside Australia by leviramsey · · Score: 2, Informative

      Both Bud and Coors do brisk business in Europe (which is depressing in it's way). That's to say nothing of the extent to which the beer industry is globalized.

      For instance the main mass-produced beer in the UK is Carling, which is owned by Coors. Anheuser-Busch owns a number of European brewers, as well.

      Of course, SAB from South Africa owns Miller and the related brands and Interbrew (Belgian, IIRC) owns Labatts, Dos Equis, and Rolling Rock. There's also a major Indian brewer, whose name I forget, that's been buying up just about every medium-size brewery available in the US.

  15. I reply but for no other reason... by Motherfucking+Shit · · Score: 2, Interesting

    ...than to say that Heineken is, as far as I'm concerned, the best readily available "mass market" beer here in the US. There are plenty of imports, microbrews, and less popular beers to be had, and certainly several of them (Rolling Rock and Shiner Bock, to be sure) are worthy of mention when it comes to taste. But nothing beats a Heineken in terms of quality versus price.

    To all Slashdotters who think that a six-pack of Bud Light is the way to achieve Zen each night, try buying a six-pack of Heinekens tonight, and I promise you won't go back to the lamebrau that is Bud Light. Yeah, the bottles are a bit tougher to open and dispose of than Bud Light's convenient cans, but for very little more money, you get a superior brew, a better buzz, and you also don't have to put up with that "liquid rice" aftertaste.

    --
    "BSD: Free as in speech. Linux: Free as in beer. Windows 10: Free as in herpes." --Man On Pink Corner in #52607549.
    1. Re:I reply but for no other reason... by Dark+Lord+Seth · · Score: 2, Informative

      Oranjeboom is vile and nasty; I highly doubt it's even beer officially. Nor terrestrial. I'd prefer drinking mud, magma or sulphuric acid over Oranjeboom anyday. Anyways, to compensate for Oranjeboom, there's Hertog Jan, which is one excellent beer. Rich taste, yet not too heavy on the stomach not do you have to sell yourself into prostitution to be able to afford it. Quality! Also, exported Heineken is SHIT compared to normal Heineken which we got here in Europe. (or possibly just the Netherlands)

  16. It's been done before by syraq · · Score: 4, Funny

    By accident I came across this only a few hours ago. Apparently it was written before Win 95 was released.

    If Operating Systems Were Beers...

    DOS Beer:
    Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it's no longer available.

    Mac Beer:
    At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.

    Windows 3.1 Beer:
    The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that it allows you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality you can only drink a few of them, very slowly, especially slowly if you are drinking the Windows Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for apparently no reason, a can of Windows Beer will explode when you open it.

    OS/2 Beer:
    Comes in a 32-oz can. Does allow you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously. Allows you to drink Windows 3.1 Beer simultaneously too, but somewhat slower. Advertises that its cans won't explode when you open them, even if you shake them up. You never really see anyone drinking OS/2 Beer, but the manufacturer (International Beer Manufacturing) claims that 9 million six-packs have been sold.

    Windows 95 Beer:
    You can't buy it yet, but a lot of people have taste-tested it and claim it's wonderful. The can looks a lot like Mac Beer's can, but tastes more like Windows 3.1 Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans, but when you look inside, the cans only have 16 oz. of beer in them. Most people will probably keep drinking Windows 3.1 Beer until their friends try Windows 95 Beer and say they like it. The ingredients list, when you look at the small print, has some of the same ingredients that come in DOS beer, even though the manufacturer claims that this is an entirely new brew.

    Windows NT Beer:
    Comes in 32-oz. cans, but you can only buy it by the truckload. This causes most people to have to go out and buy bigger refrigerators. The can looks just like Windows 3.1 Beer's, but the company promises to change the can to look just like Windows 95 Beer's - after Windows 95 beer starts shipping. Touted as an "industrial strength" beer, and suggested only for use in bars.

    Unix Beer:
    Comes in several different brands, in cans ranging from 8 oz. to 64 oz. Drinkers of Unix Beer display fierce brand loyalty, even though they claim that all the different brands taste almost identical. Sometimes the pop-tops break off when you try to open them, so you have to have your own can opener around for those occasions, in which case you either need a complete set of instructions, or a friend who has been drinking Unix Beer for several years.

    AmigaDOS Beer:
    The company has gone out of business, but their recipe has been picked up by some weird German company, so now this beer will be an import. This beer never really sold very well because the original manufacturer didn't understand marketing. Like Unix Beer, AmigaDOS Beer fans are an extremely loyal and loud group. It originally came in a 16-oz. can, but now comes in 32-oz. cans too. When this can was originally introduced, it appeared flashy and colorful, but the design hasn't changed much over the years, so it appears dated now. Critics of this beer claim that it is only meant for watching TV anyway.

    VMS Beer:
    Requires minimal user interaction, excep

    --
    You know, I always wanted to be a dancer, but I could never get the shit off my shoes
  17. Re:The author has no taste by Darren.Moffat · · Score: 2, Informative

    For those living in the San Francisco Bay Area, Coopers can be found in Beverages and More and James Squire in Trader Joes.

  18. Alternative mapping by zaad · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Redhat = Samuel Adams. - Why would anyone with any knowledge of beer pick a brit brew for an American distro? Commonly available and well known. Not the best amber in its class, but certainly deserves (great nose - aromatic hops) to be mentioned on anyone's best ale list.

    Debian = Celis White. - I'll continue on the wheat beer theme, and this is a great wheat beer. It's hard to get your hands on one. It's cloudy and has yeast on the bottom so it may scare the first timers. But once you get to know it well, you come to love it for its quirkiness.

    Slackware = Anchor Old Foghorn. - No casual weekend drinker's beer. If this is your first time, order yourself a half-pint. You don't know what you're getting yourself into.

    SuSE = Erdinger Weissbier Dunkel. - Another wheat beer, but darker and full. Meticulously brewed like the distro. Despite being a great beer, few people in the US will ever try it.

    MacOS = Smirnoff Ice. - This one's for the hip and groovy image conscious crowd. No one who actually likes beer would ever drink this.

  19. Re:Aussie don't drink Fosters by AtrN · · Score: 3, Informative
    Coopers for serious beer drinking

    Mate, you're not supposed to tell the foreigners about Coopers! They'll take it all. Now keep 'em distracted with talk of VB, New, XXXX, etc...

    PS. Tassie beers - Boag's and Cascade - aren't half bad and Hahn is okay too.

  20. Re:.....or is it just the backward state I live in by Squarewav · · Score: 2

    You've never been to a party that had free beer, ohh man, thats about the only reason many people go to parties is the free food and beer, It's not legal for say the 7-11 to offer beer for free, but I don't think there is any laws for giving beer to your friends for free, unless you live in a "dry county"

  21. Perhaps, however... by Xenex · · Score: 2, Informative

    Fosters Light Ice is a totally different beer. Fosters Larger is the swill advertised internationally as the beer of choice in Australia.

    But yes, VB is undoubtedly the most popular beer in Australia.