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Microsoft Longhorn Delayed

skreuzer writes "Microsoft has once again shifted the schedule for the release of "Longhorn," the company's next major version of Windows. The product was originally expected to ship next year. Then in May of this year, officials pushed back the release date to 2005. But now executives are declining to say when they expect the software to ship."

46 of 736 comments (clear)

  1. Hmmm... by Durin_Deathless · · Score: 4, Funny

    And people say BSD is dying?

    It <b>should</b> be:
    Windows is dying.

    --
    You should use AdiumX on your Mac.
    1. Re:Hmmm... by Rellik66 · · Score: 2, Funny

      my longhorn was delayed...

      ..Until I took Viagra

      --

      Too many zeros, not enough ones

  2. Ship date by Paradise+Pete · · Score: 5, Funny
    Microsoft has once again shifted the schedule for the release of "Longhorn"...now executives are declining to say when they expect the software to ship.

    When the cows come home, obviously.

    1. Re:Ship date by crayz · · Score: 2, Funny

      Or the dogcows ;)

      moof

  3. Theory #1 by Kappelmeister · · Score: 5, Funny

    They decided to bundle Duke Nukem Forever.

    1. Re:Theory #1 by DickBreath · · Score: 3, Funny
      Maybe we should observe what has happened in the past.

      Windows gets delayed, and delayed. Finally, someone from on high decrees that the next version will be named something like...
      • Windows 95
      • Windows 98
      • Windows 00
      • Windows Millenium Edition
      thus sending a signal as to a timeframe when this release is expected to ship, lest heads roll.

      Here's looking forward to the release of Windows 21st Century Edition.
      --

      I'll see your senator, and I'll raise you two judges.
  4. They have learned many lessons... by bersl2 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Unfortunately, they were from Duke Nukem Forever.

  5. It's no big deal really... by Luxviaest · · Score: 5, Funny

    They just want to make sure they can steal every new feature Apple is putting into Mac OS X.3

    1. Re:It's no big deal really... by NanoGator · · Score: 5, Funny

      "They just want to make sure they can steal every new feature Apple is putting into Mac OS X.3 "

      And in 2008, KDE will finally do what Longhorn does.

      Uh oh, I better put on my pitchfork-proof-vest.

      --
      "Derp de derp."
    2. Re:It's no big deal really... by macgyvr64 · · Score: 2, Funny

      But these ones will work... without holes. So it's different, you see.

  6. Error in quote. by killermal · · Score: 4, Funny
    "When I'm writing code at home or rendering something, why does it have to happen on my home machine? Why can't it seamlessly run those tasks on the dozen or so machines I have access to that are just sitting there?" he asked.

    What he really means... "When I'm having my network exploited by obvious vulnerabilities, why does it have to happen on my home machine? Why can't it seamlessly run that vulnerability on the dozen or so machines I have access to that are just sitting there? That's what we hope to bring you in the type of innovation we hope to bring you in the new 'Longhorn' OS."

  7. Re:So software gets delayed.... by error502 · · Score: 3, Funny

    software gets delayed to make sure it works properly.

    You realize we're talking about Microsoft here?

  8. My thoughts by W32.Klez.A · · Score: 4, Funny

    Delays in the release of the release date of Windows Longhorn are caused by Windows Bonghorn.

  9. Re:tell me about it by domninus.DDR · · Score: 5, Funny

    /* begin whine */
    but sp2 will break my copy of xp!!!

  10. Re:don't forget the real consequences for the web by Oliekirk · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well it must be a god send for the other browsers. I bet ie 7 will will have somerevolutianry new feature, snapback and tabs!

  11. Theory #2 by gnu-sucks · · Score: 4, Funny

    They decided to perfect their work

    Well, of course thats why.

    From back in the day:

    "I guess this is why we haven't released windows 98 yet..." Thats Bill Gates at the Windows 98 Preview party back in the day, right after it crashed on him, on stage, for plugging in a scanner.
  12. Microsoft Announces End of Windows Development by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    In a shocking Labor Day announcement, Microsoft Chairman and Co-Founder Bill Gates announced the end of Windows development. Gates stated that "Windows XP is pretty darn good" and "efforts to make it better have failed because it's impossible." Windows 2003 will also mark the final server version of Windows. This announcement comes after similar announcements regarding the future of Internet Explorer and Outlook Express. Susan Ortega, Microsoft VP in charge of public relations, spoke to reporters a bit more about the development. "The fact is, Microsoft has more money than it needs, and we'll be able to pay thousands employees on interest alone. We don't really need Windows for a revenue stream, and we already have 95% of the market. We don't think anything else will be able to top Windows as it stands now, and computers really don't need to advance anymore. The 80's and 90's were exciting, but so far, the 00's have just been boring for Microsoft. It's time to quit." Speculation is running rampant that the next version of Office may be the last, and all other Microsoft development could stop in the near future.

  13. Wow, in Plain English!! by Shamashmuddamiq · · Score: 4, Funny
    Microsoft's Breyer also made clear that the company does not guarantee any upgrades during the term of customers' contracts.

    We made them think they would, but the fine print said they probably wouldn't.

    "This is an important consideration that Microsoft's customers take into account when purchasing Software Assurance,

    We try to steer around the topic.

    which is a long-term, ongoing relationship between Microsoft and its customers, and a great deal of value comes from staying on SA long-term," she said.

    As the chef Elzar would say (in an Australian accent): "Try the Microsoft Software Assurance program. It has the biggest profit margin." The great deal of value comes when you give Microsoft money.

    --
    ...just my 2 gil.
  14. Needs a Better Name by handy_vandal · · Score: 5, Funny


    Instead of calling it "Longhorn",
    I think they should call it "Shorthair",
    as in the phrase,
    "We've got you by the short hairs now."

    --
    -kgj
    1. Re:Needs a Better Name by El · · Score: 2, Funny

      Why change it? Anybody that has seen an adult male longhorn can tell you, it's really a lot of bull!

      --

      "Freedom means freedom for everybody" -- Dick Cheney

    2. Re:Needs a Better Name by seanadams.com · · Score: 4, Funny

      "We've got you by the short hairs now."

      So now I have to wear this tin hat and shave my balls? Christ, Linux is not improving my odds with the ladies. Maybe I should get a mac now.

  15. Re:No big deal by Monkelectric · · Score: 2, Funny

    hopefully they'll do a good job this time so we won't need as many service packs.

    --

    Religion is a gateway psychosis. -- Dave Foley

  16. Theory #3 by metamatic · · Score: 2, Funny

    They're basing it on the next release of Debian.

    --
    GCHQ Quantum Insert installed. If only our tongues were made of glass, how much more careful we would be when we speak
  17. Since when/ by anonymous+coword · · Score: 2, Funny

    Did microsoft employ debian develoeprs in their management? Only the debian developers know how to delay stuff this bad.

  18. Processors by NitsujTPU · · Score: 2, Funny

    Probably when processors can support that filesystem of theirs without making it look too terribly slow ;-)

  19. Too bad there is no futures markets on software by jerryasher · · Score: 3, Funny

    With a futures market on software shipments we could easily determine when software ship date is., just as I can predict next years weather by looking at the price of orange juice futures.

    And please don't tell me yet again about how economists point out that markets can't predict anything. Nattering nabobs indeed.

    Moreover, if we had a futures market on software shipments, then we, as users and managers could lessen risk of software delay or software bugs by buying hedging options.

    A futures market in software would also let unemployed, overly expensive, middle-aged with families, but otherwise wise programmers leverage the outsourcing trend. Whether the software is made here or there, certain factors creating delays, etc. will be present and us older and wiser programmers would be able to use our years of experience to arbitrage the market.

    Futures markets -- why must our overlords keep us from them?

  20. Trying to compete with Open Source by imnoteddy · · Score: 2, Funny

    To show that they're better than Open Source MS would like to keep Longhorn as vaporware longer than Mozilla was.

    --
    No electrons were harmed creating this post, though some may have been subjected to electrical and/or magnetic fields.
  21. Re:What technology are they going to hold hostage? by xavier909 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Stage 1 - No USB in Windows NT.
    Stage 2 - No Hyperthreading in Windows 2000.
    Stage 3 - No ??? in Windows XP.
    Does that mean
    Stage 4 = No Profit in Longhorn??

    X

  22. Re:tell me about it by gfilion · · Score: 4, Funny

    /* begin whine */
    but sp2 will break my copy of xp!!!

    Ho my God! You forgot to close the whine tag! All the rest of slashdot will be whining! (Like we're not used to it.) See, it's allready started!

  23. Waiting.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    microsoft is waiting for Apple to release next OS...

    because they need something to copy off of.

  24. Re:Copy Apple's Strategy by artemis67 · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...or they could just buy Apple and stick the Windows logo on OS X. They've copied almost everything from OS X, anyway, they may as well just buy the durn thing and get it over with.

  25. Re:tell me about it by los+furtive · · Score: 4, Funny

    Uh, that was a comment, not a tag.

    --

    I'm a writer, a poet, a genius, I know it. I don't buy software, I grow it.

  26. Duh! The beta testing on XP isn't finished yet by spress · · Score: 5, Funny

    They're still waiting on returns from the testing team code named "Script Kiddies"

    --
    Subverting the meta-moderating system since 2003
  27. When It's Ready!!! by spazoid12 · · Score: 5, Funny

    What? Has George Broussard joined MS? "It'll ship when it's ready!" My were'd I put my DN4ever CD??? It's gotta be around here somewhere...

  28. 'My Grid', and 'Grids Close to Me' by Plugh · · Score: 4, Funny
    "why does it have to happen on my home machine? Why can't it seamlessly run those tasks on the dozen or so machines I have access to that are just sitting there?"

    Looks like Microsoft is trying to get on the "Grid Computing" bandwagon, which has been gathering steam ever since the economist ran an article about it. Oracle and IBM both have major Grid Computing initiatives, and Microsoft wants to pretend they can play with the Big Dogs in the Server Room.

    Imagine once the Microsofties dumb the concept down to the Windows level... the 'My Grid' and 'Grids Close To Me' icons on an ostensibly well-trained admin's desktop... aaaaarrrggghh!

  29. Re:I think this time... by naelurec · · Score: 3, Funny

    I have to agree with you. I think this next OS will be "the best OS Microsoft has ever released" .. it will be "more secure", "more scalable", "more productive" *insert previously used MS marketing claim here.

    So what will be the kicker? Perhaps they will push a subscription based model? You can only rent the software, no buying allowed?

    Perhaps with Bill & Co selling stock (according to Yahoo, it looks like Bill dumped ~$309 million worth of MSFT in August) with Bill's plans of being completely sold out by 2006 (or 2008? forgot which..) he is planning on "doing the right thing" and releasing a solid, secure operating system.

    Or perhaps the feeling is that quite frankly, the PC in its current form is well umm.. too overly complex and cumbersome. Perhaps with things like tablet PC, wireless broadband, etc, there will be a shift toward application specific embedded platforms and desktop PCs as they exist now are on their way out (I doubt by 2008 .. but I really don't see these kludgely things around in 2020+..)

  30. Re:tell me about it by nutbar · · Score: 2, Funny
    Ho my God! You forgot to close the whine tag! All the rest of slashdot will be whining! (Like we're not used to it.) See, it's allready started!

    Hey, dorkus malorkus, that was a C style comment and it looked closed to me! Bah, everyone seems to think everything is that newfangled XML thing these days.. *grunt* *groan* *cough*

  31. Re:Joshua... what are you doing ? by ZorinLynx · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm guessing they need time to come up with more "features" needed to turn it into Microsoft GestapoOS 2007.

  32. Re:What? by Unregistered · · Score: 4, Funny

    or MS would have crushed the PC gaming industry a long time ago

    Instead of leaving that up to EA?

  33. Re:Joshua... what are you doing ? by HangingChad · · Score: 2, Funny
    Windows Server 2003 took longer to release because of the re-written IIS and .NET layers. Security was also a main concern, but not because XP or 2000 were insecure.

    Holy crap my bullshit meter just went off the scale. XPee and 2000 are secure? HAHAHAHAHA!

    Two shows a night, he's here 'till Thursday....

    --
    That's our life, the big wheel of shit. - The Fat Man, Blue Tango Salvage
  34. Re:Joshua... what are you doing ? by mschoolbus · · Score: 4, Funny

    Maybe they're just waiting for the economy to get a little bit better.

    No, I just think they need to settle things with Playskool first before they release anything anymore...

  35. Re:Joshua... what are you doing ? by Myuu · · Score: 3, Funny

    No, they are waiting for more features to copy from OS X.

    Expose is god.

    --

    forget it.
  36. Re:No big deal by TheDredd · · Score: 2, Funny

    And the reason why it is delayed is that because of a bug in Longhorn they were denied access to the Longhorn source.

  37. No, no, you have it all wrong!!! by Dion · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Wait for us we're the leader!"

    --
    -- To dream a dream is grand, but to live it is divine. -- Leto ][
  38. Windows teeth by Erik+K.+Veland · · Score: 2, Funny

    By the time Longhorn is released in 2007 it will be dubbed Longtooth.

    --
    "I tend to think of OS X as Linux with QA and Taste", James Gosling, creator of Java
  39. Re:bundled with windows by hplasm · · Score: 2, Funny
    And could you also dig up a decent graphical interface.

    Yeah! Are you listening Mr Gates? The Fisher-Price look is so XP...

    --
    ...and he grinned, like a fox eating shit out of a wire brush.