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Armageddon... in 2014. Almost.

anetic was among several to note a story making the rounds striking fear into the hearts of many. Armageddon will just barely miss us, so make sure to get your panic in the streets over with early.

52 of 537 comments (clear)

  1. So... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I don't need to worry about the unix 2038 time problem??

  2. What about another icon: by rainer_d · · Score: 5, Funny
    NEOs

    Near Earth Objects

    A mugshot of Bruce Willis as icon will draw the right associations.

    --
    Windows 2000 - from the guys who brought us edlin
  3. If the comet hits... by wiggys · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...Armourgeddon outta here quickly!!

    --

    Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.

  4. Obvious Bruce Willis Comment by pklong · · Score: 5, Funny

    Look at the bright side, Bruce Willis will drill it AND he won't be coming back.

    --

    Philip

    Signatures are broken

  5. A new scale? by Azghoul · · Score: 4, Interesting

    There should be a new scale: The probability that a particular NEO will cause an article to be written up in main stream newspapers.

    Seems like every year or less another "near miss" gets some play in the papers.

    Who knows, maybe it's the same 3 or 4 objects that keep getting reporting on all the time...

    1. Re:A new scale? by ozbon · · Score: 5, Funny

      Ah, but perhaps this NEO is the One? *grin*

      --
      I say we take off and nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure...
    2. Re:A new scale? by _ph1ux_ · · Score: 4, Funny

      Are you saying that we can dodge asteroids?

      No, NEO - I am saying that when we're ready - we wont have to.

  6. Chances likely to change? by Ed+Avis · · Score: 4, Interesting
    The chances of a catastrophe are likely to become even slimmer once more measurements of the asteroid's orbit have been made.
    Surely the estimated probability now will already have taken that into account? Or is the one in 900k chance quoted not a true reflection of what astronomers feel is the likelihood?
    --
    -- Ed Avis ed@membled.com
    1. Re:Chances likely to change? by Rogerborg · · Score: 5, Funny

      It's 909,000:1 that it will miss us, but there's only a 50:50 chance that's right.

      --
      If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
    2. Re:Chances likely to change? by p3d0 · · Score: 4, Insightful
      No, probabilities are all about uncertainty. After further measurements, there will be less uncertainty, and that affects the probabilities.

      Suppose I have rolled 10 six-sided dice. Without any more information, you'd would say there's a 1 in 6 million chance that they are all fours, and you'd be right. But if you look at one of the dice, you will then have more information: if it's a four, then the odds that all dice are fours becomes 1 in 1 million; on the other hand, if it's not a four, the odds become zero. The latter scenario is five times more likely. Therefore, it is accurate to say that "the chances of all-fours are likely to become even slimmer once more measurements of the dice have been made".

      --
      Patrick Doyle
      I mod down every jackass who puts his moderation policy in his sig. Oh, wait a sec....
    3. Re:Chances likely to change? by saihung · · Score: 4, Funny

      Are they talking about the uncertainty principle? If we observe the asteroid just so, do we actually affect its speed and/or location? All we have to do is measure its speed, oh, 10,000 times from the left and we're saved! Horrah!

    4. Re:Chances likely to change? by Rogerborg · · Score: 4, Funny

      Perhaps if the asteroid stands on one leg and blindfolds itself it can get it up to a round million.

      --
      If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
    5. Re:Chances likely to change? by micromoog · · Score: 4, Funny

      This is Slashdot. We have no need for your "real physics" here.

    6. Re:Chances likely to change? by Helpless+Will · · Score: 5, Informative

      Terry Pratchet and British satirist. In his Discworld series of books one of the running jokes is the way that "million to one" chances are almost always a dead certainty.

      It's further explained by his theory of "narrative causality" that is a sufficiently good story can impact reality in such a fashion as to bring the conditons of "reality" closer to that in the narrative.

      The idea here being, how often in some story do they say "It's a million to one chance, but it just might work," and then, like magic it happens.

      Check out;

      http://www.ie.lspace.org/

      for an idea of what he's all about. He's one of my favorite authors.

      -H

      --
      "If there's anything more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now." -- Z. Beeblebrox
    7. Re:Chances likely to change? by john82 · · Score: 5, Funny

      ... or your so-called data points! This is just an opinion forum. Informed opinions have no place here.

    8. Re:Chances likely to change? by Rich0 · · Score: 4, Funny

      All we have to do is measure its speed, oh, 10,000 times from the left and we're saved!

      Sure, just bounce a 50 attowatt laser off one side of the meteor to continuously measure its almost-exact distance and speed. What is left of it will definitely be going in a different direction eventually.

      Designing a 50 attowatt laser that can be focused at astronomical distances (potentially through the atmosphere, but there might not be much atmosphere left in its direct line of fire after a second or two) is left as an exercise to the reader...

    9. Re:Chances likely to change? by weeboo0104 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Suppose I have rolled 10 six-sided dice

      What for? Save vs. huge-ass rock?

      (My apologies to all the AD&D players out there)

      --
      It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. -Frederick Douglass
  7. Project Orion anyone??? by advocate_one · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Time to dust off those schematics for the Orion lifter... the only thing that has the capability of lifting enough nukes into an intercept course to hit it early enough to get a good deflection vector. Of course the eco freaks won't like the idea of Orion being nuclear powered...

    --
    Donald 'Duck' Dunn: We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline.
    1. Re:Project Orion anyone??? by Channard · · Score: 5, Funny
      Of course the eco freaks won't like the idea of Orion being nuclear powered...

      And rightly so. Nuclear power is an unnecessary and eco-unfriendly option. Whale blubber, dolphin snouts and bear cub hides make a far more efficent fuel when burnt.

    2. Re:Project Orion anyone??? by Bertie · · Score: 4, Interesting

      I saw a Horizon documentary about this on BBC Four a while back during a bout of insomnia. It was absolutely riveting. The whole idea was so bonkers, and completely the opposite of normal engineering thinking. "Well, we're going to blast this thing into space using a series of nuclear explosions, so to take the impact it's going to have to be really big and strong. Let's build a spaceship the size of an ocean liner, then". Gotta love that sort of thinking.

      Check it.

    3. Re:Project Orion anyone??? by Rogerborg · · Score: 4, Funny

      Well, they can object to it all they like, so long as they agree that we can eat them first after the thing hits.

      --
      If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
  8. Why Panic the Masses? by aeinome · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Why would you even alert the masses of this? Saying "We were almost all going to die" is akin to saying "You were almost murdered." That would panic the person(s) a lot, and if you didn't tell them they would've been completely happy and fine. Remember, ignorance is bliss!

    --
    When you don't have a leg to stand on, don't even get up.
    1. Re:Why Panic the Masses? by Phantasmo · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Because anyone ignorant enough to do anything irrational upon hearing the news probably didn't hear it. They were too busy watching Frasier, Temptation Island, 700 Club, etc.
      Most people don't watch the news unless it has something to do with Iraq, somebody getting shot or murdered, or one of their favourite TV shows.

      Of course, a skilled preacher may be able to whip up a nice mob this Sunday. "THE END IS UPON US!"

      --

      The US Army: promoting democracy through unquestioned obedience
  9. But Granny I'm still kinda affraid by KrunZ · · Score: 5, Funny
    "The rock is said to measure approximately 1.2 kilometres (less than a mile) across - only one tenth of the size of the meteor thought to have wiped out the dinosaurs 65 million years ago"

    ... yeah but I'm am even less than one tenth the size of a dinosaur...

  10. If you're not scared.... by Reggyt · · Score: 5, Informative

    Here at NASA JPL http://neo.jpl.nasa.gov/risk/2003qq47.html is the risk summary.

    but the brits are playing it down here http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3200019.stm

    Hmmmmmm now where did I put that Anderson shelter?

    --
    "Common sense is nothing more than a deposit of prejudices laid down in the mind before you reach 18" Einstein
    1. Re:If you're not scared.... by Greyfox · · Score: 4, Funny
      What if somewhere out there is some bastard who hit the lotto and now his luck has to balance out on the other side by him being hit by a giant asteroid?

      I suggest we find this guy and shoot him into space before it's too late...

      --

      I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

  11. And posted in Askslashdot... by confused+one · · Score: 5, Interesting

    What should an enterprising geek stock an underground shelter with? What would /. users suggest?

    1. Re:And posted in Askslashdot... by khcm8jw · · Score: 5, Funny

      A windup powersource and a storage device capable of mirroring the internet, oh and some beer

      --
      "They locked up a man who wanted to rule the world, the fools, they locked up the wrong man! L.Cohen
    2. Re:And posted in Askslashdot... by Rogerborg · · Score: 4, Funny

      Natalie Portman.

      Carrie-Anne Moss.

      Liv Tyler.

      Jennifer Garner.

      Cowboy Neal.

      --
      If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
    3. Re:And posted in Askslashdot... by hattig · · Score: 4, Funny

      This is not the time to become emotional over your 10 year old collection of Linux CDs and other such media. You have to concentrate on what matters.

      1) A large box of porn magazines and tissues may help pass the time in your underground den of geekdom.

      2) Generator + oil

      3) Low energy lighting (optional if you live by TFT monitor glare), and low energy computers - that oil is precious

      4) A collection of the essential programming books, and the top 30 games, plus the entire MAME collection

      5) A futon, so you can both sleep, and sit back and relax (e.g., with previously mentioned porn) - space will be limited

      6) Spares: hard drives, OS install disks, CD/DVD/CDRW drives, power supplies, processors, mice, keyboards

      7) High energy food source and water. It might be worth dedicating around 50% of your shelter to alcoholic beverages in addition.

      8) Pens, Pencils and Paper

      9) Shortwave radio

      10) Girl

  12. Re:"just barely miss us"? by nich37ways · · Score: 5, Funny

    Bruce Willis can stay put.

    Lets send him anyway..
    --
    37 - what does it stand for really...
  13. Uh oh. by FlukeMeister · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Note how the story doesn't mention the asteroid actually missing us. It notes that the probability of it hitting us is a little under 1:900000, based on current data.

    Now, that doesn't mean the asteroid will hit us, and it doesn't mean it won't. It means that we don't know yet.

    Still, the chances of this wiping out most of a continent are better than the chances of you winning the lottery. There, feel better yet?

  14. Re:Yay for Slashdot! by BaggedOutKen · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's SCO's final solution.

  15. The odds by raider_red · · Score: 5, Funny

    At 1 in 909,000, you're still much more likely to be hit by an asteroid than you are to win PowerBall.

    --
    It's good to use your head, but not as a battering ram.
  16. Why did they name it 'double-Q-forty-seven' by madmarcel · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have to wonder how they (them, you-know-who ;)
    came up with a name for this massive rock...given the chances that it will hit us, you'd have thought that they'd come up with something more imaginative...
    (For good examples, please see relevant crap doomsday movies or scifi novels ;)

    In a situation like this, I'd recommend what any other geek would: We need a slashdot Poll!

    "Most appropriate name for a massive rock that will most likely possibly maybe destroy all life on earth:

    A) EarthCrusher
    B) Foot of God
    C) StarHammer
    D) SCO's Laywers' Bill
    E) DinosaurKiller
    F) .....
    G) CowboyNeal's Booger

  17. Re:2.6 billion tonnes? by turgid · · Score: 4, Informative

    For you Spetics out there, a tonne is a metric ton. It is equal to a mass of 1000kg. There are approximately 0.454kg in one of your pound thingies.

  18. how about a 1 in 10,000 chance then.. by maharg · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I'd be more worried about this one which is also rated 1 on the torino scale but has a 1 in 10,000 chance of hitting the earth.

    Oh by the way, it's not due 'til 2101..

    --

    $ strings FTP.EXE | grep Copyright
    @(#) Copyright (c) 1983 The Regents of the University of California.
  19. With apologies to Stanley Kubrick... by kilonad · · Score: 5, Funny

    General "Buck" Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?

    Dr. Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.

    Ambassador de Sadesky: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.

  20. More sensationalist crap by FlukeMeister · · Score: 5, Informative

    Well, looking at the NASA NEO page (http://neo.jpl.nasa.gov/risk/2003qq47.html) shows the actual probability of 2003 QQ47 impacting the Earth in 2014 is 1 in 1.754 million, the highest isolated probability. The BBC's figure of 1 in 909000 is the cumulative probability of the asteroid impacting the Earth in the next century.

    2003 QQ47 only merits a 1 on the Torino scale. That's the same rating given to random events. For anyone to get upset, you'd be looking for at least a 3 (out of 10) which is a 1% chance of a collision and some regional destruction. Compare this to a 10, which is guaranteed collision and global climatic catastrophe. A 10 event on the Torino scale happens every thousand centuries or so.

    Journalists really ought to at least try and understand their subject matter before committing their thoughts to be distributed to the general public. They have a duty of responsibility to ensure that data of limited significance is not represented as some twisted interpretation of a coming apocalypse.

  21. Near Miss?? by Mononoke · · Score: 5, Funny
    They say that if two airplanes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend, it's a near hit! A collision is a near miss - [WHAM! CRUNCH!]
    "Look! They nearly missed!"
    "Yes, but not quite."
    --George Carlin

    --
    NetInfo connection failed for server 127.0.0.1/local
  22. Comments on the story by heironymouscoward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Sorry to take this seriously, but enough of the "And I for one welcome our new Asteroid Overlords" jokes. The idea of a scale that measures the likelyhood of impending destruction just seems too wonderful to leave unanalyzed.

    The Torino scale seems a wonderful invention, since obviously the dinosaurs didn't have it, and see what happened to them! But it has an obvious bug, it works only with integer values. Zero means "all clear" and One means "enough danger to panic and start looting". What about "enough danger to reconsider whether life as a tea jockey is really worthwhile?" I mean, it would be really useful to know that the current Torino scale is 0.003 or whatever. People could change jobs and say "Torino went up, I'm reconsidering my life choices!" or whatever. A single decimal Torino jump could be enough to spark divorces, a full digit change enough to halt wars. But we need more accuracy.

    I for one welcome our new Torino overlords!!

    --
    Ceci n'est pas une signature
  23. I know statistics!! You can't fool me by RevMike · · Score: 5, Funny
    There are approximately 6 billion people on Earth. The odds of this asteroid striking are 1 in 909,000. By my calculations 6,601 people will be struck by this asteroid!

    Why isn't anyone doing anything!!

  24. Nukes will not work for sponge-like asteriods by maharg · · Score: 5, Interesting

    'Horizon' on the BBC covered this issue a while back - see http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/horizon/2003/armagedd on.shtml

    A quote from the link above:

    Asteroids like sponges

    Three years ago, the residents of Tagish Lake in northern Canada witnessed a bright explosion in the sky, as an asteroid burned up in the atmosphere above them. Jim Brook was lucky enough to find debris from the impact. The first thing he noticed was that it was far lighter than he expected it would be. Like a sponge, the chunks of debris were mostly air.

    Dan Durdan makes his living by firing ball bearings at asteroid samples - meteorites - to study what happens when they are hit. When he tested samples similar to the Tagish Lake meteorite, he was surprised to see that, rather than shattering or being deflected, these less dense asteroids simply absorbed the impact of the blast.

    These results were worrying. This could mean that many asteroids would not be deflected by a nuclear blast. Trying to deflect an asteroid with a blast might have no effect, and would keep it coming on its deadly trajectory.


    The programme also covered an alternative solution (another quote..)

    The power of the Sun

    Jay Meloch has suggested a radical new way of dealing with a dangerous asteroid. He wanted a surer, more controlled way of diverting a large body - with a gentle push instead of a blast. His idea was to find a way of harnessing the biggest power source in the Solar System - the Sun.

    In the same way as you can use a magnifying glass to set fire to a sheet of paper, you could focus the Sun's rays onto a point on the surface on an asteroid. The spot where the Sun's rays met would heat up, blasting particles of the asteroid into space. This would act like a rocket engine, and might be enough nudge the asteroid out of harm's way.

    The scientific community ridiculed his suggestion - until Meloch received a phone call from someone who took his idea very seriously. The US military already uses collectors like Meloch's to gather radio waves. Meloch may well have come up with a suggestion that will one day save the Earth.


    --

    $ strings FTP.EXE | grep Copyright
    @(#) Copyright (c) 1983 The Regents of the University of California.
    1. Re:Nukes will not work for sponge-like asteriods by El · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Somehow, I find it difficult to beleive that an extraterestrial object is "mostly air"! Mostly vacuum or mostly some other gas, maybe. Also, what difference does it make if it "absorbs" an impact -- that just means 100% of the impacting objects momemtum has gone into changing the asteroids momemtum. Methinks that would be a GOOD thing if one were trying to deflect an asteroid!

      --

      "Freedom means freedom for everybody" -- Dick Cheney

  25. The Torino Scale by Caid+Raspa · · Score: 4, Informative
    The Torino scale (a number of the danger level) is nicely explained by NASA. To get some idea on how it works, look at this Note that a 1 on Torino scale is still in the "Green" (press release) region. This one is also very near the edge of "White" (no press release) region, and likely falls there in a few weeks. I think this scale was mainly created to reduce the number of press releases.

    Personally, I'll start worrying when the propability is more than 1% (Torino Scale 3) and increasing with time.

  26. Ob. Terry Pratchet reference by wirelessbuzzers · · Score: 5, Funny

    Vimes: Does this mean I'm going to die?

    Death: POSSIBLY.

    Vimes: You turn up when people are possibly going to die?

    Death: OH YES. IT'S QUITE THE NEW THING. IT'S BECAUSE OF THE UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE.

    Vimes: What's that?

    Death: I'M NOT SURE.

    --
    I hereby place the above post in the public domain.
  27. Mayan Apocalypse by sabNetwork · · Score: 4, Interesting

    The Mayans predicted the apocalypse would be year 2012 CE, for astronomical reasons. Coincidence? Probably.
    --

  28. Yes but atleast... Re:Chances likely to change? by WolfWithoutAClause · · Score: 4, Funny
    Atleast it was only 909,000:1; count yourself lucky. If it was a million to 1 chance, they happen 9 times out of 10 :-)

    (According to Terry Pratchett anyway, who also admits that there's a million to one chance of it being a million to one chance- ok here on in it gets complicated ;-) )

    --

    -WolfWithoutAClause

    "Gravity is only a theory, not a fact!"
  29. Pertubations by NickRuisi · · Score: 5, Interesting
    I was looking over the JPL's orbital elements and diagrams for this object (here), and I noticed the following:

    15 March 2005: The object will be .082 AU from earth.
    24 September 2012: The object will pass within 0.098 AU of earth.

    I also noticed (if I am reading the orbital diagrams correctly) that the points where the object is closest to the earth coincide with the points where the object passes through the plane of the ecliptic. Since these are the Acending / Decending nodes of a solar orbit, wouldn't this point be ideal for a change of orbital plane? I'm thinking these near-Earth encounters may change the object's orbit somewhat, since surely the earth encounters will impart some delta-v on the object.

    Anyone else up on orbital mechanics care to take a better look at the ephermis?
  30. According to orbit diagrams by Alien54 · · Score: 4, Informative
    According to orbit simulations, it looks like it comes in aiming more or less at the north pole.

    see the close approach table here - note the the distances on this chart are typically in single digit earth radii.

    See also this data on the NEODyS home page

    It means that any space alien or mad scientist with a grudge could give it a nudge to do something nasty.

    Note also that the orbit simulations link given above seems to be calculated with old data. showing no collision in 2014

    --
    "It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
  31. Re:To get boringly technical about it... by Sphere1952 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    "Only for a uselessly narrow definition of "probability"."

    Nope. With a fair coin it is proper to talk of the probability being 50:50. The difference between a fair coin and celestial mechanics is that with a fair coin it is not possible to define an experiment which will determine the result in advance. In celestial mechanics it is not only possible, but very straight forward. The experiments will in fact be done, and that is the reason the "probability" will change over time before the date of potential collision.

    The thing is that real probabilistic analysis is used in computing the pseudo-probability which is the odds 909,000:1. Taking the information at hand, they compute a volume of space through which both the rock and the Earth might pass through during the given time and then compute the probability of them both being at the same place at the same time within that volume. As the quality of the information improves the volume decreases and the pseudo-probability more accurately approximates the actual probability. The odds either get extremely large or closer and closer to 1:1. (I'm being sloppy here, and not talking about gradients. A real analysis would have different probabilities of being within different parts of an infinite volume.)

    On the other hand, this is in fact boringly technical. Pseudo-probabilities are very useful, and it is only natural to call them probabilities in normal conversation. You only have to worry about the difference when actually computing the pseudo-probabilities.

    --
    Big Brother Bush is doubleplus ungood.
  32. From the AD&D Manual... by EvilTwinSkippy · · Score: 4, Funny
    Occasionally in your campaign you will have to roll for global catastropy. Catastrophies are rolled using 6D10.

    Table 28.9 Global Catastrophies

    • 0 - 700,000: Nothing
    • 700,000 - 709,999: Broken Seal unleashed the Cthulu. All players go insane until consumed.
    • 710,000 - 719,999: Hector freed from the root of the Yggdrasil. 12 moves until Ragnorok.
    • ...
    • 820,000 - 829,999: Google down. All magic users must save versus curse or have wisdom reduced by half.
    • ...
    • 900,000 - 919,999: Catastrophic asteriod impact. All players must save versus fire.
    • 920,000 - 929,999: TSR Discontinues this model of D&D. DM must save versus ice or all reality disappears.
    • ...
    --
    "Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
    --Dr.W.Edwards Deming