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Current Thoughts in String Theory

DrLudicrous writes "The NYTimes is running a nice little synopsis of the current ideas in string theory. Apparently, there is still quite a bit of disagreement about how to interpret the various theories, with some string theorists supporting a semi-deterministic worldview a la Einstein (God does not play dice), while others believe our universe is just one possibility among many, with respect to various physical parameters."

38 of 391 comments (clear)

  1. Re:Fringe science, or valid? by moehoward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Why do we lack the energy? Did we stay up too late last night partying? Or, are we just depressed that the summer is almost over?

    --
    "If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid." - Epictetus
  2. String Theory by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Just use the StringTokenizer class, and leave the actual implementation to the virtual machine. That way, the best String theory can be used later, when it is derived, and you won't have to change a line of code.

    1. Re:String Theory by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      The most important part of String theory is the null terminator%#@%(&(*(FA(EWUA(UF#(A@JI#J^IHITHAIUG(#A @U(T#@(*(^@U#IHTIAWHIHJT#(@AU&%(#@

  3. God ? by EpsCylonB · · Score: 3, Funny

    (God does not play dice)

    yep god is much more sophisticated, it's all decided through russian roulette.

    1. Re:God ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
      it's all decided through russian roulette

      And the gun is rigged.

    2. Re:God ? by GNUman · · Score: 2, Funny

      No, he does play dice, in different Universes the answer could be 45 or 41, maybe even 3,455,201... in ours is as simple as 42!

    3. Re:God ? by The+Zody · · Score: 2, Funny

      "God does not play dice with the universe: He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time." - Terry Pratchett

  4. on pseudorandom oscillation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    My housemate was recently developing a comprehensive theory of the oscillations of short bits of string, even comprising such philosophical points as whether they're inherent or caused by some bored unemployed minor god. Then I bought a laser pointer and now it's all refraction this and speckle that.

    Cats are fickle.

  5. Re:Fringe science, or valid? by pheared · · Score: 4, Funny

    Well we have small galaxies. Now all we need is a particle accelerator the size of a small galaxy, according to the article.

    Well that would require some sort of a Rebigulator which is a concept so ridiculous it makes me want to laugh out loud and chortle.

  6. But... by skinfitz · · Score: 4, Funny

    ..quantum physics probably doesn't exist...

  7. My Thoughts on String Theory by Eberlin · · Score: 4, Funny

    Strings are pretty cool. They make clothes (among other things), and when they vibrate, they make music. They're also good for fishing if you tie a hook at the end of it. String it up with two cans and you've got yourself a cool communication network!

    I do have a theory on string cheese, though. I think it's a plot to tempt and destroy the lactose intolerant. So cheesy...so convenient...so stringy but oh so dangerous.

    If particle man got in a fight with string man who would win? If he's underwater does he get wet or does the water get him instead? (They Might Be Giants)

  8. Re:Fringe science, or valid? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Unfortunately, by the time we are able to create those energies experimentally, we'll already have succeeded in collapsing this planet into an ultradense particle about the size of a pea.

  9. A challenge? by Empiric · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe god is like some kind of ubercoder, daring us to figure out his implementation.

    And like most of them, he doesn't document.

    --
    ~ Whence do you come, slayer of men, or where are you going, conqueror of space?
    1. Re:A challenge? by Tumbleweed · · Score: 4, Funny

      > Maybe god is like some kind of ubercoder, daring us to figure out his implementation.

      > And like most of them, he doesn't document.

      Worse yet, he writes in Perl! *ewwww!*

      The Devil, however, codes in TurboPascal. :)

    2. Re:A challenge? by Ratphace · · Score: 4, Funny


      Yes, but wouldn't reverse engineering God's code violate the DRM? :(

  10. Re:Fringe science, or valid? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    LISA: Listen, I can take care of everything, all you have to do isunshrink me.

    FRINK: Unshrink you! That would require some sort of a re-bigulator, which is a concept so ridiculous it makes me want to laugh out loud. In short,...ah...but not you, O holiest of gods, with the wrathfullness, and the vengance, and the blood-reign, and the hey hey hey it hurts me.

  11. Fudge Factor by sssmashy · · Score: 3, Funny

    If Einstein's fudge factor is real after all, the universe will continue to expand faster and faster as space grows bigger and bigger, producing more and more repulsion.

    Einstein's fudge factor is strikingly similar to Hershey's fudge factor, in which those unfortunate souls who are addicted to sugary goodness tend to expand faster and faster, producing more and more repulsion to members of the opposite sex.

  12. Strings OMG!! by GillBates0 · · Score: 3, Funny
    Einstein once wondered aloud whether "God had any choice" in creating the universe.In principle, strings can unite all the forces of nature, including gravity, in a single mathematical framework.

    So what happens when God messes up on bounds checking, or memory allocation for strings?

    Segmentation fault. Asteroid dumped *shudder*.

    I guess we're lucky He decided to steer clear of pointers.

    --
    An Indian-American Hindu committed to non-violent thought/speech/action alarmed by the global explosion of radical Islam
  13. My physical parameters by PSaltyDS · · Score: 2, Funny

    "...our universe is just one possibility among many, with respect to various physical parameters."

    I'd like to think there's at least ONE universe out there where I'm skinny and good look'n!

    "No pain, no... pain." Why don't we just leave it at that?

    --
    Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced. - Geek's corollary to Clarke's law
  14. No, no, ONE string walks into a bar by spun · · Score: 4, Funny

    He hops up on a barstool and says "Bartender gimmee a bourbon on the rocks." The bartender says "We don't serve strings in this bar, git out!" So the string leaves, ties himself at one end and musses up the other. He walks back in and asks for a bourbon again. The bartender says, "Hey, aren't you that piece of string I just threw out of here?" And the pice of string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

    --
    - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
  15. Trade secret? by El · · Score: 2, Funny

    Am I the only one drawn to the inescapable conclusion that God has deliberately obfuscated the universe to prevent reverse engineering? Or maybe I've just been working too hard...

    --

    "Freedom means freedom for everybody" -- Dick Cheney

  16. Re:Fringe science, or valid? by corbettw · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Frankly, I still view superstring theory as a fringe science, considering the fact that it holds merit (many of it's hypothesis are built upon solid scientific foundations), but none of it's claims can yet be tested and verified."

    This is why I prefer sillystring theory. You can easily prove or disprove the effects of sillystring in a great many environments. For example:

    1) If I shoot sillystring at the hot blonde across the room, will she sleep with me, or slap me?
    2) How slow must I drive on the freeway to enable me to shoot sillystring, and still have it maintain cohesion enough to obscure another driver's windshield completely?
    3) If I replace my roommate's shaving cream with sillystring, how many times will he cut his face before he realizes the switch?

    You see? Definite, provable, questions. None of thos "alternate universe" or "quintuple bajillion watts of energy" problems.

    --
    God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
  17. I.A.N.A.S. but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I did a science project last year on string theory. They told me I couldn't do the baking soda volcano or solar system model with balls of aluminum foil anymore. As a test I used ten cans of silly string to represent ten dimensional space but only 3 colors to represent the ones you actually see. Smart huh? I let all 10 cans fly at once thus showing the Big Bang. "Chaos" ensued but eventually it all settled into a stable universe. Smaller minds have banned me from submitting this project again too. Clearly a conspiracy by "the suits" to suppress free thinking. I heard somewhere they patented it too.

  18. My String theory by adeyadey · · Score: 4, Funny

    Two strings walk into a bar.

    The first string says to the bartender, "Give me a beer." The bartender turns to the second string and says, "and what about for you?" To which the second string replies, "I would also like a beer#@a9101gb230b81;kajf3#$B89*#(&)*13!$%#@$" and goes on and on spewing gibberish.

    The bartender, shocked, asks the first string, "What is your buddy's problem?"

    The first string answers, "Oh, you'll have to excuse him, he isn't null terminated."

    --
    "You lied to me! There is a Swansea!"
  19. He does play dice... by Superfreaker · · Score: 2, Funny

    His is just 20,000,000,000 sided instead of 20, and he gets +19,000,000,000 HP.

  20. Re:direct link by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Pleasse, I cannot state this more emphatically, please DO NOT REGISTER with the NEW YORK TIMES. Under no circumstances should you use a THROWAWAY email address and provide FAKE information. They can track you, they will trace you, they will HACK into your computer.

    If you have already registered with them, IMMEDIATELY disconnect your computer and BURN it. You must, absolutely must create a barrier between yourself and the NEW YORK TIMES made of TIN FOIL. Do not use aluminum foil, it WILL NOT WORK! Place this barrier DIRECTLY on your head and the heads of your PETS, otherwise you and your PETS will be HACKED.

    Waste no more time! Do it now!

  21. Re:God playing dice. by dspfreak · · Score: 2, Funny
    Can God create a process so random that he cannot predict its outcome?

    Yes. A woman's thought process.

    "Sorry, Adam. I didn't see that one coming either."

    --
    "Tolerance is the virtue of the man without convictions." -- G. K. Chesterton
  22. Deeper questions... by NaugaHunter · · Score: 3, Funny

    Is there a click through license when you are born? And does a C-section circumvent it?

    --
    R: That voice. Where have I heard that voice before? B: In about 365 other episodes. But I don't know who it is either.
  23. I had a really good String theory by hrieke · · Score: 4, Funny

    But then Schrodinger's Cat started to play with it.
    Now all I have is a mess.

    --
    III.IIVIVIXIIVIVIIIVVIIIIXVIIIXIIIIIIIIVIIIIVVIIIV IIVIIIIIIVIII...
  24. Re:Multiple Universes! by weeboo0104 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Now all we have to do is find a way into the 2 dimensional universe!

    It's called "Super Mario World"

    --
    It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. -Frederick Douglass
  25. Executive summary by Stephen+Samuel · · Score: 2, Funny

    The universe is tied up in knots. Figuring out just how has physicists tied up in knots
    QED

    --
    Free Software: Like love, it grows best when given away.
  26. Re:Fringe science, or valid? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
  27. Re:Fringe science, or valid? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I think; therefore I'm Descartes.

  28. Re:Theory vs Reality by jonhuang · · Score: 2, Funny
    Wait--I'm confused. How does the Earth being on the back of a giant turtle (or an infinite number of such) cause things to fall down?

    Through dark turtle energy, of course.

  29. Re:Fringe science, or valid? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Well yes, but we can assume the energy required is considerably more than that needed to measure the Higgs boson. Though it's possible that it has nothing to do with energy levels, and the problem is more akin to determining the last name of god.

    As for whether Earth is a type 13 planet - take a look around and judge for yourself. ;)

  30. Re:Fringe science, or valid? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I knew a bo's'n named Higgs once. Dude had some tatoos goin' on . Think he was a Type O+, though, so it's probably not the same dude.

  31. Re:Yes but no by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Maybe someone else already set up the experiment for us in a neighbouring galazy? And they wouldn't mind if we kibbitz? Sweet.

  32. Anyone remember the old Times headline? by spun · · Score: 2, Funny

    The New York Times had an article, way back in the day, on the New York transit system. It was in a shambles. A major fix to the system was implemented on a Monday. Can you see where this is going? Yup, the headline read "Sick Transit's Glorious Monday."

    --
    - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton