RIAA Sues 12-Year Old Girl

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Posted by CmdrTaco on Tuesday September 9, 2003 @02:01AM from the squash-her-like-a-bug dept.

tcp100 noted an article running at fox about The RIAA suing a 12 Year Old girl: "'I got really scared. My stomach is all turning,' Brianna said last night at the city Housing Authority apartment where she lives with her mom and her 9-year-old brother."

31 of 1,872 comments (clear)

Click bang !! by panxerox · 2003-09-09 02:02 · Score: 5, Funny

Owwww !!! My foot !!! My foot !!! Owwww !!!

--
"It's so convenient to have a system where everyone is a criminal" - A. Hitler
1. Re:Click bang !! by Jaysyn · 2003-09-09 02:33 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  That's fine, I hope they start suing quadrapledgics & orphans too. And the Easter Bunny.
  
  Jaysyn
  
  --
  There is a war going on for your mind.
2. Re:Click bang !! by autosentry · 2003-09-09 02:54 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  This reminds me of that scene with the twelve year old from The Big Lebowski: "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass! This is what happens!"
  
  --
  Monster Zero is the reason we cannot live on the surface, but must live forever live underground like this.
3. Re:Click bang !! by Mysticalfruit · 2003-09-09 03:18 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  This is what I'm expecting next in the news:
  
  "RIAA TO BEING WHIPPING CHILDREN"
  
  In a statement released by Riaa president Slain Brosko
  
  "After unsuccessfully using price gouging, poor music quality and then obnoxious lawsuits to drive our customers from the stores, the little bastards are still trying to buy CDs! We figure after we whip a few dozen children, they'll all learn to stay home and just download content that's being shared from other countries. Though on that front we've just heard from Donald Rumsfield that he'll loan us a couple stealth bombers to take out those little bastards too!" The president then burst into some manical laughter for a few minutes before eating a wriggling frog from jar and pulling a lever that dropped a rather cute dancing girl into the jaws of a Rancor.
  
  --
  Yes Francis, the world has gone crazy.
4. Re:Click bang !! by Anthony+Boyd · 2003-09-09 04:12 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Imagine you're living in a 10,000 sq. ft. mansion with 2 butlers, a cook, and a 26 year old supermodel wife.
  
  Leave me out of this, OK? I value my privacy and don't like being used in examples.
  
  --
  My Greasemonkey scripts for Digg &
5. Re:Click bang !! by EvilTwinSkippy · 2003-09-09 04:33 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I'll have you know that she has retired from modeling, and is now a full time aerobics instructor.
  I also prefer to spin around in my Ford Focus. It's easier to park, the kid usually beats me to the Porsche anyway, and it gives the folks I lay off less ammunition to call me a money grubbing SOB.
  And for the record I don't use Kazaa, I use the Darwin port of Gnuetella on my Ti-Book. Just for the hard to get titles I can't find on Amazon. Hell, some Grateful dead dubs are ONLY available on the net.
  
  --
  "Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
  --Dr.W.Edwards Deming
gotta get at 'em young... by TechnoVooDooDaddy · 2003-09-09 02:03 · Score: 5, Funny

see, downloading files is just a gateway crime... by the time this girl is 17, she'll be knocking off liquor stores, and in her early 20's she'll be doing banks!

nip it in the bud!
1. Re:gotta get at 'em young... by MacFury · 2003-09-09 02:47 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  and in her early 20's she'll be doing banks!
  I hope so!
  -John Banks
girlie mp3 warez shutdown by x0n · 2003-09-09 02:03 · Score: 5, Funny

Damn! and I'd nearly completed the whole Barney catalogue in mp3. Anyone got a copy of barney_and_the_squirrel.mp3?

--

PGP KeyId: 0x08D63965
1. Re:girlie mp3 warez shutdown by ndogg · 2003-09-09 02:20 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  If you give me some photo identification, your SSN, home phone number, and home address, I can help you get it.
  
  Cary Sherman,
  RIAA President
  
  --
  // file: mice.h
  #include "frickin_lasers.h"
Hehe, spoke by mao+che+minh · 2003-09-09 02:03 · Score: 3, Funny

From the article:
"When reporters visited teh apartment last night, Brianna..."
WILDCAT?!? Is that yuo?!?
Exactly. by darkov · 2003-09-09 02:05 · Score: 5, Funny

She's stealing music. She deserves everyting she gets. She should be tried as an adult and the death penalty shuld not be ruled out.

If the piracy continues the recording industry may we wiped out, then would would all those poor executives do? The can't all join SCO.

--
Reliable, Great Value Hosting: $7.95/mo 2.4G/120G
Never sue poor people by Zachary+Kessin · 2003-09-09 02:05 · Score: 3, Funny

I am wondering why they are suing a kid living in city housing. It not like she has any money. Her parents might have some, but she doesn't.

Maybe the can take a cut of the income from her paper-route.

--
Erlang Developer and podcaster
Good Lord by ArmenTanzarian · 2003-09-09 02:06 · Score: 5, Funny

This would be laugh out loud hilarious if it weren't so horribly tragic...
And in further news, the RIAA and SCO have teamed up to kick a 6 year old's puppy. Film at 11!
Re:Says a lot by ulbador · 2003-09-09 02:06 · Score: 5, Funny

The sizes may be different, but I think the mentalities of the RIAA and the 12 year old girl are probably pretty close
Monsters Inc by GillBates0 · 2003-09-09 02:08 · Score: 3, Funny

Now kids will be scared of RIAA reps under their beds.
12 year old kid: Mommmmeeee come quick! There's a big bad slobbering RIAA-man under my bed! *sob*
Mommy: Don't worry sweetheart, we will make the big nasty RIAA-man go away. Take that *biff* *bash*. There you go honey, go to sleep now, he's dead.

--
An Indian-American Hindu committed to non-violent thought/speech/action alarmed by the global explosion of radical Islam
Set up? by Cap'n+Canuck · 2003-09-09 02:08 · Score: 5, Funny

Super move RIAA: attack children. This will certainly endear you to the masses.

It's almost as though it was a setup. The only thing that was missing was the fact that she wasn't in a wheelchair.
1. Re: Set up? by Black+Parrot · 2003-09-09 02:17 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  > It's almost as though it was a setup. The only thing that was missing was the fact that she wasn't in a wheelchair.
  
  The only thing missing is that it was on FOX instead of The Onion.
  
  --
  Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
2. Re:Set up? by Rogerborg · 2003-09-09 02:26 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  I know her! I bought a box of Camp Girl Cookies from her! She was trying to raise enough money to buy a flag, as all they can afford is a piece of sackcloth, but they salute that raggedy old thing and sing the Star Spangled Banner at the top of their little tuberculosis ravaged voices like the bravest little patriots you've ever seen.
  
  --
  If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
3. Re: Set up? by Thomas+Miconi · 2003-09-09 03:09 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  The only thing missing is that it was on FOX instead of The Onion.
  
  I agree. This would have made the thing much more credible.
  
  Thomas Miconi
  =============
Re:Smooth move. by Rogerborg · 2003-09-09 02:28 · Score: 4, Funny

I bet he's Brianna's grandfather. She's the criminal mastermind behind it all. She probably tortures puppies and shorts SCO stock as well.

--
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Re:In case of /.'ing by gerbache · 2003-09-09 02:48 · Score: 4, Funny

Sensationalistic reporting from Fox News? Never! That wouldn't be Fair and Balanced!
In oher news by JamesP · 2003-09-09 02:52 · Score: 5, Funny

RIAA suas a 3 month old baby and his mother, who sang lullabies w/o paying the license
A RIAA representative said "SInce this kid is not going to forget this lullaby ever again, were thinking of lobotomizing it so we get back our intellectual property"

--
how long until /. fixes commenting on Chrome?
Excellent! by Greedo · 2003-09-09 03:03 · Score: 5, Funny

I'm gonna go out and get me a 12-year-old and have them do all my file sharing.

--
Tuus crepidae innexilis sunt.
1. Re:Excellent! by carpe_noctem · 2003-09-09 03:18 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  So is THAT what they call it these days? You sicko!
  
  --
  "Quoting famous computer scientists out of context is the root of all evil (or at least most of it) in programming." - K
2. Re:Excellent! by IIRCAFAIKIANAL · 2003-09-09 03:51 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Oh, that's going to go well....
  
  Greedo: Hey little girl, would you like to come home with me and share some files?
  Little Girl: Eeeek! Help help help!
  Ghost of Charles Bronson: Time to die little man
  *bang* *bang* *bang*
  Greedo: Gurgle gurgle
  
  /me is gonna rent Death Wish this weekend :)
  
  --
  Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.
The Moral Is... by cyranoVR · 2003-09-09 03:18 · Score: 4, Funny

On the Internet, nobody knows you're a 12 year old girl...

Time for EFF to do a "reverse-sting" - have 12-year old girls pose as 35 year-old male file-sharers with the goal of drawing more RIAA lawsuits.

(The reciprocal of how law-enforcement snags pedophiles in chat rooms - they have 35 year-old men posing as 12 year-old girls).
Irony by QEDog · 2003-09-09 03:29 · Score: 5, Funny

The funny things is that RIAA is trying to fsck this 12yo girl, while preaching that p2p is for child porn and is evil

--
"There is no teacher but the enemy."-Mazer Rackham
Re:Poor? Oh really? by HungWeiLo · 2003-09-09 03:36 · Score: 5, Funny

You forget you're on Slashdot? WiFi and water cooling comes before food, shelter, and medicine.

--
There are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we're downriver from the bread factory.
Life imitates Art by frankie · 2003-09-09 03:40 · Score: 4, Funny

From last week's BBSpot: Law and Order: RIAA
Lars Ulrich will star as a gritty New York detective and John Amos will play the chief RIAA lawyer. "Since most file sharing cases are civil and only consist of serving subpoenas, we had to take some liberties much like the RIAA," said creator Dick Wolf.
RIAA and the face of evil - $39 billion ain't bad by aacool · 2003-09-09 03:46 · Score: 3, Funny

Here is another, funnier look at the RIAA story.
Also, the BBC has a look at other 'victims' of the court cases
Let's see now - 261 people, assuming each shared 1000 songs (which I believe was the cap at which RIAA selected their litigants) - @$150000 a song - they expect $39,150,000,000($39 Billion smackeroos!!!). Assuming each case settles at $50000, the RIAA still stands to make $13,050,000 just from this 'spook & awe' campaign
Not bad for a 'sunset industry'