Barnes and Noble Drops Ebooks

Only a month??? by winkydink · 2003-09-09 08:11 · Score: 4, Funny

and I have 1 month to download the books I have purchased.

You must have a really slow internet connection.

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"I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey

Re:Only a month??? by CGP314 · 2003-09-09 08:19 · Score: 2, Funny

You could probably write out the books by hand faster than download them on his connection. Where's a monk when you need one?
Re:Only a month??? by antic · 2003-09-09 09:30 · Score: 4, Funny

No, no, no. It's a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters that you use to reproduce eBooks, not a million monks.

That said, I've had luck finding monks on google:

Results 1 - 10 of about 1,420,000

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'Thats they exact same thing a banana wrench monkey.'
Re:Only a month??? by sharkey · 2003-09-09 11:15 · Score: 2, Funny

Where's a monk when you need one?
In the Scary Devil Monastery, of course. However, I doubt that they're currently accepting any luser requests.

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"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.

Bad Support by Doesn't_Comment_Code · 2003-09-09 08:13 · Score: 4, Funny

At least they gave one month of service...
Still, that's not very long to "support" your products, even if they were a flop.

They must have stopped selling them because Everyone was pirating copies of Light in August, Huck Finn, and Robinson Carusoe. Poor BN couldn't make enough money :(

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Slashdot Syndrome: the sudden, extreme urge to correct someone in order to validate one's self.

drats by Anonymous Coward · 2003-09-09 08:13 · Score: 2, Funny

The eight people who bought ebooks will be VERY inconvenienced.

E books??? Why by PenguinPooper · 2003-09-09 08:14 · Score: 3, Funny

I can understand why they are dumping them. Who needs a whole book filled with e and E ?? They should start using some of those other letters too !

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My mother in law is worse than yours...and yes I will trade!

Re:Bathroom Reading by Anonymous Coward · 2003-09-09 08:14 · Score: 4, Funny

Yes i have, and with a laptop it's easy!

The only real complaint i have is when i get back to the board room, my laptop smells like shit.

However, I would have to say that is an invovenience for others, and not myself. So no big deal.

Re:Bathroom Reading by Fammy2000 · 2003-09-09 08:14 · Score: 2, Funny

Stoplights are my favorite. Traffic, don't notice it anymore. Dangerous, probably. Sure beats the guy I see with his business section every morning.

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If I had something intelligent to say, I would have said it.

Re:Bathroom Reading by Shant3030 · 2003-09-09 08:16 · Score: 2, Funny

When I'm in the bath tub, there is no time to read, I'm too busy mastur....

oops

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100% Insightful

Re:Bathroom Reading by Doesn't_Comment_Code · 2003-09-09 08:18 · Score: 3, Funny

E-books aren't popular because they are inconvenient. Have you ever tried reading in a bathtub or on your toilet seat with an e-book?

No kidding. After I carry the tower, the keyboard, and all the cords in to the bathroom, the LAST thing I want to do is go get the 50 lb. monitor!

Then when I'm done I have to lug it all to bed for some light reading, just to wake up 15 minutes early to reassemble the office.

EBooks suck.

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Slashdot Syndrome: the sudden, extreme urge to correct someone in order to validate one's self.

Re:My Poor Eyes by pheared · 2003-09-09 08:19 · Score: 4, Funny

...but reading on the computer stinks.

That explains all of the RTFAs on Slashdot.

But, it doesn't explain Slashdot.

Re:Bathroom Reading by Just+Some+Guy · 2003-09-09 08:23 · Score: 4, Funny

Except that it's somewhat more expensive to drop it...

I don't know. I managed to drop my old Palm IIIxe into the can one weekend when I was working by myself. A split-second decision to throw my pride (and revulsion) by the wayside, a few paper towels, and a couple of shots of Lysol later, and everything was good.

Net cost: $0 (assuming that you can't put a dollar value on lost self-respect)

I "canned" a paperback years earlier. Ain't no way I was fishing that out.

Net cost: $5.95

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Dewey, what part of this looks like authorities should be involved?

Re:Bathroom Reading by Anonymous Coward · 2003-09-09 08:29 · Score: 4, Funny

With my Palm, yes!

At first I thought you meant something else involving using your palm in the bathroom.

I use my Palm too much... by Anonymous Coward · 2003-09-09 08:29 · Score: 1, Funny

...when in the bathroom.

Re:Bathroom Reading by Rogerborg · 2003-09-09 08:36 · Score: 3, Funny

Tools->Internet options->Accessibility->Ignore colours specified on web pages
Tools->Internet options->Accessibility->Ignore font styles specified on web pages
Tools->Internet options->Accessibility->Ignore font sizes specified on web pages

I'm assuming that you're using Intarweb Exploder, on the basis that there's a fair overlap between that demographics and those that don't understand that markup is a set of hints, not dictats.

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If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.

Re:Bathroom Reading by ryanvm · 2003-09-09 09:00 · Score: 4, Funny

Reading on a computer screen is like looking into a floodlight that someone has taped letters over.

Who are you, Gollum?

Re:Bathroom Reading by CGP314 · 2003-09-09 09:12 · Score: 2, Funny

Who are you, Gollum?

No, but my eyes are precious to me.

A warning to everyone out there... by WIAKywbfatw · 2003-09-09 10:59 · Score: 4, Funny

Don't buy a used Palm IIIxe off of eBay from this guy. Unless, of course, you want to get cooties...

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"Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." - David Brent, Wernham Hogg

Re:Bathroom Reading by Anonymous Coward · 2003-09-09 11:02 · Score: 1, Funny

I'll assume you're using Nutscrape or one of it's cheap knockoffs, on the basis that there's a fair overlap between that demographic and those that don't understand that presentation is an integral part of the meaning of a set of information.

Re:Bathroom Reading by Anonymous Coward · 2003-09-09 11:31 · Score: 1, Funny

And yet with all this advanced technology you still can't go fuck yourself. Much as we wish you would.

*meep!* by SeanAhern · 2003-09-09 11:57 · Score: 4, Funny

A couple years back, one of my co-workers dropped her pager in the toilet. This would have been fine if she hadn't pressed the flush lever seconds before she dropped it. Whoosh! Her pager was gone!

One of our mutual friends wrote this up after hearing the story:

Oh, btw. My toilet beeped at me last night. I was in the living room when it went off, and I thought /I/ was getting paged. Nope. Mine was set on vibrate mode. Then I noticed the beep had a watery sound to it and I tracked it down to the bathroom. Now I was really confused. Here my toilet was beeping at me. It was a sad and mournful beep. Actually, it was a meep.

I took pity on the toilet and said, "What? Do you want to be cleaned?"

*Meeeep*

"Do you need more water?"

*Meeeep*

"Did I forget to flush?"

*Meeeep*

"Did you spring a leak?"

*Meeeep*

Perplexed, I pondered my predicament while my toilet meeped at me some more. It obviously wanted something. But what? I also tried to think what could have caused this sad, mournful meeping noise. Did I possess a dual-purpose toilet that served both as a normal toilet, and a seismic device for detecting earthquakes? That was a possibility. This /is/ California, and it would make sense to put earthquake warning devices on toilets to give someone enraptured in the latest issue of "Field and Stream" to get moving in a hurry!

*Meeeep*

A careful examination revealed no obvious seismic sensor arrays affixed to the toilet. Besides, I think I might have set off any seismic sensor arrays through more "natural causes" in the past. As far as my toilet was concerned, the "big one" should have hit last week after that meal of burritos and refried beans. But anyway...

*Meeeep*

Now I was getting distressed. My toilet was obviously suffereing some awful affliction, and the meeping sound was becoming weaker and weaker. After a moment's thought, I decided that calling 911 was not an option. I couldn't think of a good way to explain the emergency. I was going to have to do this myself. Out of frustration I exclaimed "Damnit Jim! I'm a computer scientist, not a plumber!"

*Meeeep*

My toilet was definitely sick. I had to rescue it. I needed to take action fast. So, with rubber gloves on, and plunger in hand, I lifted the lid of the bowl and saw......nothing. That was good. Whew. What a relief. With no other obvious course of action, I put the plunger into good use. I felt sorry for my toilet, as I was inflicting discomfort on it on the magnitude of taking a throat culture to test for strep. The toilet held up like a champ though and lo-and-behold, what floated into the toilet bowl? A pager! Would ya believe it? It still worked! I reached in and pulled it out (with rubber gloves on, mind you) and examined it closely. I was pretty impressed that it still was emitting meeps that sounded much more like beeps out of the water. I noticed some numbers on the pager. The numbers were slightly faded, but I could make out the following:
??0-42?-770?
?in: 52?8?

*beep*

Well, that didn't do much good, so I dropped it back into the toilet and flushed. The toilet gurgled happily as the pager returned from whence it came with one last parting, mournful meep. I have to say, that was a pretty bizarre evening. However, one positive is that I have this cool idea for a start-up company. It seems to me that Californians would have a vested interest in investing in toilets with seismic warning devices. :)

The reason I bothered to metion all of this was in case your toilet starts meeping one day. I thought I'd save you the trouble of having to diagnose the problem by giving the advice to simply go straight to the plunger. Chances are, it's a pager. :)

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Barnes and Noble Drops Ebooks

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