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Worst Jobs In Science
FortKnox writes "Popular science has the worst jobs in science. Some are silly, some are sick, some make you angry, and some just flat-out suck." And some of them sound fun :)
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Hope there's not too much "hands-on" experience involved with that.....the scientific method could really start to be a "pain in the ass..."
Barnyard Masturbator doesnt seem like that bad of a job. Im sure it wouldnt be alot of fun, but I can think of worse things then getting a elephant off. Running windows for one, thats not really a science, more of an art.
+-+-+-The folowing statement is true. The previous statement is false.-+-+-+
Would be the guy who tests to see if cloned bull semen was as viscous as normal bull semen.
Either that or the guy who wipes Stephen Hawking's drool from his face.
And you thought YOUR job sucked...
So what did they do with Mr. Ed?
--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
Actually, the humans have it much worse than the monkeys ever did. From the article:
"Thagard also had the distinction of being the first person ever to clean out animal cages in orbit, on the Spacelab 3 in 1985. Engineers promised him that the cages would be at negative pressure, so none of the weightless waste of 24 rats and 2 squirrel monkeys would escape. But when Thagard opened the cages, air rushed outward, leading to a frantic floating-feces chase scene."
"Come on, let's go drink till we can't feel feelings anymore."
Need I say more?
I had a friend who worked at Plimoth Plantation in the animal husbandry program. He was actually an actor, and had played Governor Bradford for quite awhile, but was bored with it, and wanted to try something different.
So his first day in the new job comes and goes, and I call him to see how it went.
"Not so good", he says.
Why not? I ask.
"I had to draw the bull today" he tells me with loathing. Draw the bull? WTF? What's so bad about that? And what does art have to do with animal husbandry/
Not "draw" he tells me.... Draw the bull... you know...
There's a moral somewhere to that story, something about choosing between Governor and stroking off a large animal, but I'm not quite seeing it.
Maybe Gray Davis can enlighten me.
I HAVE CUBIC WISDOM THAT TRANSCENDS AND CONTRADICTS ONE DAY GODS
Isn't it cute that Barney the purple dinosaur doubles as "psychological torture" and mimes as "inspires hatred"? It's just so, counter-counter-culture.
But what the hell is depicted in the "physical torture" icon?
And does anyone know if there's a drug with the nickname "William"? The article's author would probably like to know.
In mathematics, one does not understand things, one merely gets used to them.
--VonNeumann
Every hamster has his day!
"There is no teacher but the enemy."-Mazer Rackham
Eloctro-ejaculation?
So when Saddam Hussein hooks up a car battery to some dudes schlong the guy actually has an orgasm?
Fucking bizarre man.
5. iMac mouse designer
Yes, and I'm *pissed* to find out that I could have been getting paid for it all along!
But without prison rape, why would people fear the DMCA?
CEE5210S The signal SIGHUP was received.
In Soviet Russia, cosmonauts dreamed about becoming Slashdotters!
PETA---People for the Eating of Tasty Animals...Right?
"We don't know what we are doing, but we are doing it very carefully,..." Wherry, R.J. Personnel Psychology (1995)
I dont' know, about four hours ago we had a Proff that was telling us about her research into some random gene (nhlh2 or something) and how the Grads got to watch the resulatant mice Knockout and Wild Type mice sit around and either have or not have sex for two hours.
On top of that they were genetically engineering the poor mice to have low energy levels and small genitals, forever making them the fat and unattractive ones (the mice).
A mate of mine was studying Agriculture Science at University, and for whatever reason they were involved in the collection of pig sperm. So here's my mate, on his haunches holding a container of sorts (I believe the animal is riding a man-made pig's rear), and just before the pig lets the cheese fly, a fellow student knocks the container to the ground. The pig lets rip with what he termed "a staggering amount of spunk" all over his face. My memory is hazy as to this guy's post-blow relationship with the fellow prankster.
It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.
Slashdot Meta-moderator.
Futility. Political Quagmire. Inspires Hatred.
Not that he's all that bad or anything, I just don't know of any other Jobses in CS (so he would also win the "Best CS Jobs" award).
They have Barney representing psychological torture!
Quite appopriate. Ever channel surf with a 3 year old in the room and accidentally hit a channel with Barney showing?
you mean I can get PAID for that?!!
My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle...
The persons who tested out preparation A, B, C, D, E, F and G
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Support Indy Music. Buy
5. Student who will be looking for a job in a couple of years
...I nearly died laughing when I saw the icon next to job # 8. The juxtaposition of Barney with that job....well, check it out for yourself here.
7-11 (new comp sci grad job)
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Notice that it is only the male animals who receive the stimulation.
It's a sexist world out there.
Golly. Makes you wonder why there isn't a device that can make meat cold, so it lasts longer.
Why yes, I AM a rocket scientist!
I like the icons they made up for this story. Maybe Slashdot could use some of them with their permission? At least seven icons would qualify for any SCO-related story:
- "Inspires reflexive ridicule"
- "Psychological torture"
- "Risk of physical violence"
- "Futility"
- "Inspires hatred"
- "Political quagmire"
"Olfactory overload", "Involves digestive product" and "Zzzzzzzzzzzz" are also worthy of consideration in my opinion.
"There are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare." - Blair Houghton
A vet student friend of mine told me that at her university, some tasks are assigned by gender. The girls job is to maturbate the bulls. The guys get to castrate pigs. It's not without a sense of humor..
Alex
Heisenberg may have been here
Just be honest about why you got fired from the animal sperm bank. -
Drinking on the job.
Don't you think that has a certaing ring to it as a band name?
I like the little icons that they use to categorize the jobs in the story. I think that we should adopt a standard of using those icons on our resume job listings. Then the interviewer can see at a glance that your last job involved futility and psychological torture.
c: :###
See colon. Enter colon. Pound, pound pound.
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"Vengeance is fine," sayeth the Lord.
I'm going AC on this one ;)
I used to work in the MIS department of London International Group (now Seaton Scholl) who make all sorts of rubber products, including Durex condoms.
It was one MAN's job to taste the flavoured condoms from the production lines every 30 minutes.
He seemed a bit worried that a 2:1 from Cambridge in Biology only got him this far. Still, you have to laugh.
>They're grown by the thousands just for the purpose of dying in nasty ways.
In a superhero universe, a fraction of those fruit flies would spontaneously manifest super powers and escape!
"Escape, Flame-Fly, go! And someday be strong enough to rescue my 45th generation!"
(ref: "Elementals", "Planetary", and "DC Invasion" all used this gimmick to make new supes)
A.
Yeah, but anybody answering phones at Verisign is already used to being called a cow-felching pig masturbator for eight hours a day.
Hours on end of executing mice.
At least that's easier than having to figure out how to jerk off the mice!
Healthcare article at Kuro5hin