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IT Career Horoscopes
HRHsoleil writes "If you're addicted to horoscopes, you going to love these Horoscopes for geeks." Mine was surprisingly accurate, thus proving beyond a shadow of a doubt the power that a gaseous orb a zillion miles away exhibits upon my laptop.
If you try to stay in control, you will only set yourself up for disappointment. Let go. Focus on projects that will benefit others and show off your altruistic side. Your co-workers look up to you more than you think. Problem-solving discussions are fruitful -- as long as you don't forget to follow up your words with concrete action. This is a good time to take a second look at an idea you've previously discarded. You've got a new frame of reference and will be able to see farther down the road than most. Be sure to pay attention to financial responsibilities and investments
Yeah right, the day "Problem-solving discussions are fruitful" is the day hell freezes over.
Gibble: Descriptive of an emotional state in which one's mind is scrabbling for some purchase on reality
Excuse me, those are newsletters
-Mr. Fusion
No more baked beans for you, I think.
Hmm. So how did it know that my second kid is due any day now, and that the first one is still keeping me awake by howling to the rooftops at night?
I'm convinced. No really, I am. Honest.
Cheers,
Ian
Your significant other will become jealous when you buy a new one. She laments being called the 'slow' one. Tonight: Play old school.
Aries: you will die a virgin
Taurus: you will die a virgin
Gemini: you will die a virgin
Cancer: you will die a virgin
etc..
As I gaze into my crystal ball, I see that site will stop serving pages in approximately two minutes.
;)
Of course, they probably know that already
We Scorpios don't believe in astrology...
"Expect to spend lots of time waiting in line for menial work when it is discovered that for your salary, management could hire six workers in Bangalore." ...darn.
Freedom isn't free; its price is the well-being of others.
Link here.
I was amazed when I read my horoscope!
Not only did it apply to me directly, but to countless thousands of other people as well! Nearly 1/12th of the worlds population could benefit from this advice!
How they get this accurate I don't know.
42 - So long and thanks for all the fish.
I, for one, welcome our new gaseous orbs of Horoscopic Overlords!
Using Voodoo Dolls to influence your PHB...
Trolling is a art,
I'm unemployed, you insensitive clod!
I think my horoscope needs a patch.
Rent-a-Cop security guard: "Wow! My horoscope was right!" Looks at piece of paper, "You will face challenges today."
(Episode CABF06)
The One Rule Of Chess You'll Ever Need: Don't play someone who carries a kit in their bookbag.
Slashbot: (Feb 23-Mar 18)
You will plug some cables into a router today. You will complain over a bowl of kraft dinner that you aren't making the 100,000 dollars and up that the radio commercial for MCP certs promised you. You will post grossly wrong information on slashdot to make everyone think you understand and use linux. Noone will notice as they don't know either, and you will get easy "karma" which is absolutely useless in the cosmic sense. You will not get laid, that was a stupid question.
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
I'm Scorpio, and it basically told me it's time to get off my arse and do something new (instead of sitting and reloading Slashdot all day, like I normally do).
... to back up critical files at the end of the month.
No Shit Sherlock - is this for geeks, or those needing an introduction to the cluestick (tm) ?!?
The Exchange server will be down at 6
them: what's your sign.
me:[insert random star sign here]
them: oh that is so you.
in twelve years i have only been caught once off the bat. and that was by my mom.
2 1337 4 u!
And I think most of us could guess where the good docotor was positioned at that moment.
Nothing about romance... it must be accurate!
The hospital?
"Capricorns are always horny" and "Leos are dishonest"
All right! I am *so* looking for a Capricorn.
Wait. You're a Leo, aren't you? Dammit. Forget it then.
Here's my idea for the Slashdotter's Horoscope: /. while you're supposed to be working. /. today. /. will ironically be slashdotted. /. will unfortunately have an instance of "teh" in place of "the" because you didn't hit the preview button.
Aries: You will get First Post today!
Taurus: You will receive a visit from the "goatse guy."
Gemini: You Fail It!
Cancer: You will read a story about the SCO lawsuit today.
Leo: Today you will finish your transformation of an old vacuum cleaner into a computer case.
Virgo: Today your boss will catch you reading
Libra: You will be asked to Meta-Moderate.
Scorpio: Someone will tell you that, despite your best efforts, BSD is dying.
Sagittarius: Your sig will mysteriously be left off your post on
Capricorn: What you thought was a witty comment will receive -1, Troll.
Aquarius: A site that you try to visit after reading about on
Pisces: Your post on
So, people born right after Christmas in January may have different perspectives on the importance of family, friends, and holidays (their birthdays being near the holidays) than someone born in June.
They also realise the same thing when they do what every child does sooner or later and count back nine months from their birthday.
Born at Christmas? Nine months from the first days of spring. Conclusion: Your parents hibernate.
Born in June? Nine months from October. Conclusion: Your parents couldn't afford heating.
For the record, I'm a Scorpio. Born in November, nine months after Valentine's Day. This is the reason Scorpios have a streak of evil - we have lived with the knowledge of dark lust from day one. :-)
"This is why men never share their feelings; because women always remember." -Just Shoot Me.
Carl Sagan shares the same birthdate as myself, 9 Nov. and as we all know, Scorpios are too intelligent to believe in horoscopes.
Pete Carr Owner Chatmag.com
here
They never fail and are always right on target.
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
Trying to understand something as complex as people using a force as simple as gravity is, well, laughable -- it's like trying to debug the Linux kernel using the theory of humours ("It panicked because of an excess of blood! But this patch contains extra phlegm, which should counteract the black bile from browsing slashdot...")
As others have pointed out, you have Capricorns and Leos the wrong way around.
I know this because I'm a Capricorn and my girlfriend is a Leo... and she just can't get enough of me.
You are a Leo. Leos believe nothing they read. Your horoscope has nothing to do with you. You are Bertrand Russell.
Regardless of Astrological Sign, your job will be outsourced to another country.
Gemini May 22 - June 21 A shake-up in human resources may be in the works. ..
I blame Slashdot for getting my 30 day notice yesterday! But, on the bright side my "problem-solving and extraordinary organzational skills are about to pay off in a big way monetarily." SO, IF YOU ARE READING THIS HIRE ME NOW AND "everyone will benefit."
Think global, act loco
"Maternity"
Debunking the "59 Deceits"
Now we know you're definitely a Capricorn, as you said 'my girlfriend'... /., you are a geek, if you're gonna lie at least make it believeable
C'mon, this is