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SCO's Plan Examined
kevin@ank.com writes "In the best expose I've read since the original Halloween documents, Groklaw has links and analysis of Renaissance Ventures' rationale for investing in The SCO Group. Among other misrepresentations, SCO convinced Ren that SCO owned the root of the entire UNIX tree, and that Linux was just one branch of that tree. Linux gets a SCO tax... forever; or worst case, if Linux gets killed in the process, then so be it. Renaissance also estimated that IBM would have settled with SCO last April under the strength of SCO's claims, and the threat of terminating their UNIX license. Oops."
1. Have no business plan 2. Send extortion letters 3. ???? 4. Profit
Did anyone get the text in the 15 seconds it took for the server to get /.'d?
These people look deep into my soul and assign me a number based on the order I joined.
SCO convinced Ren
Ren was always easy, it was Stimpy that was always a stickler for details.
Sorry.
Intelligent Life on Earth
... where a couple of scientists are looking at a blackboard. The left and right sides have formulae. The center part says "Then a miracle happens".
One scientist says to the other, "that middle step seems a little fuzzy."
(Okay, that was paraphrased from memory, but the sentiment fits).
Maybe someone from SCO is a /. subscriber. Since they would get to see the story earlier than the rest of us, they could DDoS any site they didn't want us to see.
I want to believe.
I was not touched there by an angel.
Serious, as much fun as SCO is, is anybody else feeling their faith in humanity drain away, little by little, day by day, because of morals like these?
No, not all of humanity just corporate executives... but they're species has always been questionable anyway.
Damn...that would make an interesting wall poster/conversation piece. I can see refering to it in a business planning meeting..."See this shit, this is what I have to deal with"
You'd think that venture capitalists would have gotten smarter (and pickier) about where they throw their money. This sounds like giving the neighborhood bully some money so he can invest in a nice aluminum bat to make it easier to collect from the rest of the kids.
This is my sig. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
So, if Linux has an "SCO Pedigree", can we just agree that UnixWare is a dog and get this whole controversy over with?
Actually, I think in the Bible they cast out demons, instead of spawning daemons.
I know people seem to be sick of reading SCO stories all the time, but I think it's exciting to be witnessing the unfolding of such an epic unix war.
It's just like the old days that I missed except now it involves linux and it's therefore even more exciting.
Maybe we should go back to the tactics of the old unix wars: We should catapult a plague-ridden cow into SCO's castle. Hmm. I think that's how it went.
graspe
JGG
Well, SCO might be in trouble there. If you read the book of Acts chapter 8 verses 27 and following, you will find evidence that the Ethiopians had Eunuchs (so they spelled it different...) in first century AD. SCO's timeline doesn't go back quite that far.
What a co-incidence! I am the CEO of a ginormous fortune 1 company that is doing exactly that! Joe, is that you? Don't even think of showing up to work on monday!
See... the lines. Look... the lines.
Don't you see?
Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. - Ambrose Bierce
>>Renaissance also bought the story -- hook, line and sinker -- that SCO owned the UNIX tree trunk, so to speak, and that all other versions of Unix were branches, or derivatives, off of their tree, including, so they imagined, Linux.
If their logic were correct, then by the same logic, Unix is a derivative of Multics, which in turn is a derivative of GCOS. Thus, by SCO's logic, General Electric owned the whole trunk, but sold it to Honeywell, who sold it to Bull of France.....
Maybe it is time to trade in my GE stock for Bull stock?
Guessing that IBM would have settled is like assuming that a bear would not shit in one particular acre of a woods because you told him not to.
This sig no verb.
fight SCO's illicit and deceptive business practices will illicit and deceptive business practices of your own! What company do you work for, Enron?
Darl, is that you?
Heh -- it might not go back that far now, but they've managed to revise their history before. What's gonna stop them now?
-Turkey
According to SCO's chart, Linux is SCO's bitch.
No, I'm New Here
So what you're claiming is they are making claims without actually claiming any of the claims they're claiming to claim?
Therefore Linux is not only safe, it's safe.
But is it safe?
If you read the book of Acts chapter 8 verses 27 and following...
Aparently you don't know your Bible very well.
Daniel 1:3
"Then the king instructed Ashpenaz, the master of his eunuchs..."
As you can see, Ashpenaz is the first SysAdmin listed in the Bible, somewhere between 600 BC and 580 BC.
--
As a matter of fact, I am a lawyer. But I play an actor on TV.
Why don't we ask /. editors to change the "Anonymous Coward" username to "SCO/Microsoft plant" instead? It would be a lot more accurate...
"Freedom means freedom for everybody" -- Dick Cheney
"So what you're claiming is they are making claims without actually claiming any of the claims they're claiming to claim?"
I have made that claim, yes. Or so I claim.
"But is it safe?"
Not only is it safe and safe, it's also well known for being safe ( although BSD may be safer, safer and safer, or so some claim. Some of them even claim to claim this, although I wouldn't necessarily accept may claim to this claim without claiming your research on said claims).
I stake my claim on it.
See what SCO has led me to become? Prove positive that they're evil.
KFG
Think that's cool? You should see what Daryl handed in for his family tree back in grade school.
Have to, sorry:
"Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury, SCO's accusers would certainly want you to believe my client doesn't own the rights to Unix, and they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself. But Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk who carried a gun and ran from the mob. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it. That does not make sense. Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot-tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor with a bunch of two-foot-tall Ewoks. That does not make sense.
But more important, you have to ask yourself what does this have to do with this case. Nothing. Ladies and Gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case. It does not make sense. Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major Unix company and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and Gentlemen I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense.
And so you have to remember when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No. Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury it does not make sense. If Chewbacca lives on Endor you must acquit.
I know SCO seems guilty. But ladies and gentlemen this is Chewbacca. Now think about that for one minute. That does not make sense. Why am I talking about Chewbacca when a company is on the line? Why? I'll tell you why. I don't know. It doesn't make sense. If Chewbacca does not make sense you must acquit. Here look at the monkey , look at the silly monkey.
The defense rests."
Aych tea tea pea colon slash slash slash dot dot org slash
...SCO directly to jail,
do not pass Go, and
do not collect $1B dollars.