Dilbert Readers Rat Out Some Weasels

colinmc151 writes "Well, Dilbert's Way of the Weasel Poll Results are in, with 35,874 people voting. Weaseliest Organization was won by the Recording Industry Association of America. Weaseliest Company was won by Microsoft. The Weaseliest Individual award was won by George W. Bush. Weaseliest Profession went to Politicians. Weaseliest Country went to France. Weaseliest Behavior was 'Blaming fast food restaurants for making you fat.' Congratulations to all the deserving winners."

Comments

BITCHES.. ALL OF THEM

[Anonymous Coward]

This has nothing to do with anything remotely Slashdot related, but I need to do something before my head explodes...

As I type this, my roomate and my best friend/recent lover are fucking in the next room over. WHAT THE FUCK. After 10 years of friendship and built-up sexual tension, we finally hooked up and now less than a week later she's banging my roomate. I am so fucking incensed right now I can't think straight. I wouldn't mind if they went to a hotel or otherwise didn't make it known, but she just FUCKING WALKED PAST MY ROOM TOPLESS AND SHUT THE DOOR IN MY FUCKING FACE. How fucking insensitive can you be?!

This sucks. It's 3AM and I'm telling strangers (GEEK strangers, no less) about my personal problems. I am a big pussy and will most likely not say anything to either one of them so I expect this to go on for a while. Fuck.

Feeling low? There's someone else out there that's having a worse day than you. Trust me.

Re:BITCHES.. ALL OF THEM

[akedia]

Well you can either get a handgun and murder them mid-coitus or you can take pictures and post them here.

No, wait, do both!

Re:BITCHES.. ALL OF THEM

[interociter]

You mean you had sex with an actual girl within the last week, and you're complaining about it on Slashdot? For those of us who almost never get our kernels recompiled, forgive me if I'm less than sypathetic.

On the other hand, you could extract revenge. Go out to the 24-hour drugstore right now and buy a big tube of Kwell. Open it and leave it on the bathroom counter. For the next few weeks, scratch yourself constantly whenever either one of them is around. For bonus points, scream every time you pee. Explain nothing.

Re:BITCHES.. ALL OF THEM

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: BITHCES::ALL OF THEM
From: Ask A Navy SEAL
A Colt 10mm will suffice. When they're at the target area again, make a stealthy waterborne amphibious infiltration into the complex. Stealth is key, if you can, try and re-arrange it so there are more shadows. If you can get to a position that's to their sides or from above, even better. Get a professional camera as well. While they're breaking various UN statutes, film it. When they're done, shoot the guy first, then the girl. Sure, the Colt 10mm/.40cal isn't a sniper's rifle, but it's good enough for 30 meter targets or less. And it comes with a higher rate of fire, and target acquisition is easy. Use it on the male and then the female after you've stopped filming. Don't worry about stopping power - the 10mm mushrooms to 70 calibers on impact, leaving a hole big enough to toss a cat through. Prepare an extract through the door, leaving no signs of forced entry. NOTE: Make sure you leave an M118 demolitions charge underneath their bed after you leave, set on 45 minute's time.
-Navy SEAL

Re:BITCHES.. ALL OF THEM

[Wingnut64]

I thought this sounded familiar...

At least give us an original troll!

Re:BITCHES.. ALL OF THEM

[Anonymous Coward]

cool site

i added a moment of my own, might as well post it here as well:

Was walking out of a large electronics store having just purchased some stuff. Naturally, they've got this guy whose only job in life is to stop you and compare what's on the receipt to what's in the bag. Screw him, i don't need that shit. I walk past ignoring him.

Trying to be mister tough guy, he follows me into the parking lot and grabs my arm threatening to call the cops. Well, as luck would have it, a police car was passing by and the commotion drew their attention.

Cops hear the story and ask to see the receipt.

"Sure officer, it's right in my wallet...". Reaching for my wallet, my eyes widen as i realize it's gone.
By now we've drawn a crowd of employees and customers. The cashier confirms i had a wallet a few minutes ago. I'm telling the cops, "...yeah i put the receipt in my wallet, put my wallet in my back pocket, walked out and then got stopped by this guy."
One of the officers gets an idea and tells the employee to empty his pockets. Guess what he had in his pocket

The punk ass got fired on the spot and the store manager refunded the money from my purchase so i wouldn't file a complaint against the store. And people thought i was wasting my time learning how to plant a wallet on someone.

Headline from the Zoo:

[Eberlin]

Weasels in local zoos began protesting after slanderous survey compared them to the likes of Microsoft, GW-Bush, and the RIAA.

One outraged animal was quoted as saying "enough's enough, man! We've been portrayed negatively throughout history but this is pretty low."

At last...

[lurker412]

...election results that I can finally feel good about. I live in California and I had been wondering why I always thought democracy was a good idea.

Re:Contradictory

[cperciva]

Well, the USA came in close second on the "weasely countries" list; I imagine that Jacques Chirac would have garnered more votes if many Americans had been able to recognize his name.

Re:Contradictory

[deviator]

it shows that this is an objective, non-biased, politically neutral survey free from outside influence.

I tend to agree with _all_ of the results.

Poll Results

[Anonymous Coward]

From the posts so far, I wager this guess:

80% democrats that are pissed they lost the election and will perpetuate lies until 2004.

10% republican who won the election fair and square. argue all you like, but based on law and the electoral process, GWB won.

5% green people, who i do think are from mars.

5% independent people who don't know their head from their ass, and are just natually grumpy cause their party will never have a chance.

Re:Weasliest?

[Roofus]

Pot Kettle you say? Perhaps.. but drugs can also be the answer.

So can masturbation, which I'm sure many in this crowd are familiar with!

Re:Wow

[DoraLives]

Holy cow! You're not even there yet and you're already laying a weasly defensive strategy.

You've got the slime all over you so I'm guessing you'll go far in your intended career.

Re:ACLU is Weasly?

[rco3]

For a while, I've really been concerned about the falling quality of trolls here on Slashdot. Then along comes [parent], and restores my faith in trolldom.

See, kiddies, this is how you troll. Keen. Subtle. I'm especially fond of the way that the AC doesn't explicitly call Fox News unbiased, unclouded - but he implies the hell out of it. He shows you the troll, but doesn't let you touch it. Kinda like MJ in his prime.

To frost this cake, he throws in a couple of mild insults in. Not weak enough to ignore, but he's not abusing the 7 famous wordy-dirds. It bypasses your builtin four-letter discrimination routines and actually feels like he might mean it! You can't ignore it! He means it! Meanwhile, you're so browned off you slide right past the logical flaws and attack the red cape. Ole!

He waves the red cape some more; you lumber around chasing it, eventually tire, and it's over. YHBT.

I salute you, AC. We need more with your skills.

Re:Contradictory

[pipingguy]

Well, the USA came in close second on the "weasely countries" list; I imagine that Jacques Chirac would have garnered more votes if many Americans had been able to recognize his name.

This is because most Americans think "Blaque Jacques Shellac" when they hear the French leader's name. Blaque Jacques doesn't have nearly enough web presence. Bugs Bunny rules!

Re:Contradictory

[jpu8086]

California doesn't have a direct democracy. No form of state gov't follows a direct democracy in the United States. We are republic. Both at the federal level and state level. So it's not entirely that bad.

However, the recall was direct. And, that truly is sad.

Re:Weaseliest website?

[rsfpc]

He who smelt it dealt it.

Wow!

[EverDense]

That's the first poll Dubya's ever won.

Re:Weasliest behavior? Why, it's the AC!

[cybercuzco]

But weaseling out of things is what seperates us from the animals! ... Except for the weasel.

Iraq has WMD. How do we know?

[devphil]

Because we kept the receipts.

(Credit goes to the Onion for that one, IIRC. No, I don't actually believe Iraq has WMD these days. We know they tried to make/buy/steal them, but they failed.)