How Not To Install Computer Hardware

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How Not To Install Computer Hardware

Posted by timothy on Monday October 20, 2003 @07:43PM from the do-your-worst dept.

ssassen writes "Most computer hardware websites tell you how to get your computer hardware up and running properly and not RMA it after the first boot. Hardware Analysis takes a different approach and tells us exactly how NOT to install computer hardware. They document many of the pitfalls that'll sound familiar to many enthusiasts and have some great pictures of what could go horribly wrong during an upgrade. Very funny, and guaranteed to put a smile on your face!"

18 of 373 comments (clear)

Everything is hot swappable... by seanadams.com · 2003-10-20 19:51 · Score: 4, Funny

...as long as nobody's looking!
1. Re:Everything is hot swappable... by questamor · 2003-10-20 20:21 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  I seem to have the most extraordinary luck (or I only come across tough hardware). I've hotplugged just about everything except a CPU, and the worst I've had is an OS crash. That includes all connectors, ram, graphics cards, vram, drives, psus fans and speakers.
  
  I tried the RAM and VRAM after realising I'd done some stupid things in the last 20 years and not killed any hardware, so pressed my luck and did those too.
  
  I think if I do a CPU next I'll be just about complete
2. Re:Everything is hot swappable... by zerocool^ · 2003-10-21 04:01 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Heh.
  
  Interesting note, at Netmar last year, we were doing spring cleaning, and we unearthed an old sun system, the kind that looks like a dorm fridge. Well, to our surprise, it had a quad proc hypersparc board on it's backplane. We were thrilled to death, so we immediately tried to turn it on. Only problem? Even after multiple years of not being in service, the PROM still had a password on it to make it boot.
  
  What was the solution? After poking around google groups forever, we came across a page that had a tip on how to reset PROM passwords for Sun machines. Your mileage may vary, but what solved it for us was to unplug the prom during bootup, turn computer off, wait 5 minutes, plug PROM back in, and *bam* no password!
  
  Just goes to show... If you unplug things that aren't hotpluggable, the terrorists haven't already become our overlords, or something.
  
  ~Will
  
  --
  sig?
Without RTFA, I could tell you how not to do it. by jtnishi · 2003-10-20 19:56 · Score: 5, Funny
1. Don't install computer hardware while drunk. It'll sure be funny in the morning, but only if you haven't managed to plug things in such a way that they don't blow up.
2. Don't install computer hardware with all the components plugged in AND on. Yeah, I know that it's good practice to keep the plug in while holding the computer case for installing components so you stay grounded, but when it's all on, I'm sure something's liable to fry. Of course, USB might be an exception, but considering how often hot-plugging USB stuff crashes my comp, it might be best to stay away from that, too. ;)
3. Don't install components while having sex. Either your SO doesn't care, or he/she is the biggest geek ever, and you're one lucky person.
4. Don't install components while eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I tried that once. It wasn't pretty.
5. See, you didn't need to read that article at all. Let's keep up the slashdot tradition!
Way back in the day... by chill · 2003-10-20 20:00 · Score: 5, Funny

I used to work in a retail computer store specializing in Amiga computers. The A1200 was notorious for being difficult to install expansion boards into the trapdoor slot.

I had one accelerator try to be returned after the customer tried to install it themselves.

I looked at the unit and the pins connecting the card connector to the board were bent and there were chips out of the motherboard.

I told the customer that it looked like they took a screwdriver to the edge and used a hammer to try and pound the card into the slot.

I kid you not, the reply was "I did. So what? The manual didn't say *NOT* to hit it with a hammer and screwdriver".

We didn't accept the return. I explained that my supplier would laugh me out of business if I tried to return it with chisel marks.

$200 down the drain because the cheap bastard didn't want to spend the extra $10 to have us install it.

--
Learning HOW to think is more important than learning WHAT to think.
1. Re:Way back in the day... by trynis · 2003-10-20 20:47 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Installing cards can be tricky. Here's what my girlfriend did when trying to install a PCI-card (creds to her for trying, though):
  
  On this particular computer there were more openings in the back of the case than there were PCI-slots on the motherboard. She fastened the card to the case without putting it in a PCI-slot. Then she wondered why it didn't work. I had a hard time not to laugh when I discovered what she had done. I think I did ok, though, since she is still willing to do her own upgrades. :-)
  
  --
  This is not a sig.
2. Re:Way back in the day... by WegianWarrior · 2003-10-20 21:16 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Reminds me of the large poster we have hanging in the workshop (I work with pneumatic, hydraulic and mechanical components for military jets, as well as other related items (ECS, EPU and so on)):
  
  If it jams - force it! If it breaks, it needed repair anyway!
  
  Seriously thought, there is a reason why the users manuals for comsuber electronics has page up and down with warnings how not to use the product - my new 30" widescreen television (a big thing weighting so much you need two ordinary people or four geeks to lift it) shall not - according to the manual - be used in the shower or bathtub... Obvioulsy some people lack any trace of common sence, and need to be told every little thing.
  
  --
  Everything in the world is controlled by a small, evil group to which, unfortunately, no one you know belongs.
3. Re:Way back in the day... by B747SP · 2003-10-20 21:53 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  shall not - according to the manual - be used in the shower or bathtub...
  That's my Stupid Sign Theory(tm). The reason that really stupid sign/instruction manual is there is because some stupid bastard actually tried it already.
  "Do not return used condom to manufacturer"
  That's *my* personal favourite!
  
  --
  I find your ideas intriguing and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
4. Re:Way back in the day... by B747SP · 2003-10-20 22:07 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  We didn't accept the return. I explained that my supplier would laugh me out of business if I tried to return it with chisel marks.
  I came in at the funny end of a hard disk DSAA (Dead Shortly After Arrival) story a few years back. Cuntstomer bought a new HDD from the computer story where SWMBO worked. Took it home, set stuff up. HDD went unserviceable within a day or so. Just plain bad luck in that respect..
  Unfortunately, aforementioned cuntstomer had a Friend Who Knows About Computers(tm) handy. Somehow or other, the FWKAC managed to convince him that he could recover the data by opening the disk.
  Trouble was, the disk didn't have common-or-garden phillips head screws, it used some new-fangle torx thingamy. No problem, FWKAC simply took to it with a battery powered drill, and drilled out the torx screws to get the case open.
  A bit like a dog chasing a car I suspect - no idea what he was going to do with it when he got it open.
  Anyway, the after all this, the cuntstomer brought the disk back expecting warranty replacement.
  Owner of the shop was an astute, but somewhat unorthodox HK Chinese cum New Zealander cum Australian (and last time anyone checked, living in China). He took one look at it all, and laughed. Right in the cuntstomer's face.
  And laughed. And laughed, and laughed. Funniest effing thing that any of us had ever seen. History doesn't record the cuntstomer's reaction, but it does state that he didn't get his warranty replacement.
  7+ years later, we're all still laughing.
  
  --
  I find your ideas intriguing and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
They forgot load testing... by krystal_blade · 2003-10-20 20:17 · Score: 2, Funny

Step 8a...

After your webserver is configured, create a page that has technical information that geeks are interested in, and have a friend submit a story to slashdot about it.

Step 8b...

Sit back, and watch the blinking lights turn solid with activity, as your 14 registered users get dogpiled with 6099 anonymous slashdotters. Admire the wonderful smell of melting IC chips while looking for your warranty paperwork.

krystal_blade

--
It will be easy to motivate our fellow man; there is hardly anything people treasure more than not being annihilated.
Upgrading is easy... by Realistic_Dragon · 2003-10-20 20:28 · Score: 3, Funny

Just make sure you have done a full (or preferably 2) full backups first - then it doesnt matter what you do to your PC, nothing will go wrong. Hell, juggle the ram chips, play football with the hard disk, drop bits onto passing pedestrians... whatever the hell you feel like. It'll all work just fine.

This state of affairs can obviously be implied from the case where you attempt to upgrade without backing up and it takes 0.0000001 seconds for something fatal to happen to your hard disk.

--
Beep beep.
Oh no they removed the usercounter! by Anonymous Coward · 2003-10-20 22:14 · Score: 2, Funny

Please register or login. There are many registered and even more anonymous users currently online. Current bandwidth usage: 1498.88 kbit/s October 21 06:13 EDT

They obviously caught me and my fellow slashdotters for refreshing that darn page just so see sume numbers grow :)
Re:PS2 Mice by the_womble · 2003-10-20 22:23 · Score: 2, Funny

seen motherboards survive coffee in the keyboard
Coffee? I managed to spill a glass of wine on my keyboard. It seemed OK so I saw no reason to change my habbit of keeing in drink next to my keyboard in the evening. Not even when a second glass of wine got spilt on the keyboard (actually my wife might have been responsible for that one).
The third glass of wine did not damage any hardware but Windows BSODed and my hard drive was corrupted badly enough to stop me rebooting. I had to reinstall Windows (for the coincidentally for the last time).
Re:PS2 Mice - the test by adeyadey · 2003-10-20 23:16 · Score: 2, Funny

Hmm, let me test that out.

Unplug, plug, ok, no problem works fine.
Unplug, plug, ok, no problem works fine.
Unplug, plug, ok, no problem works fine.

Well my PC is still working, I cant see any pr

--
"You lied to me! There is a Swansea!"
Re:PS2 Mice - the test by CaptainBaz · 2003-10-21 00:09 · Score: 2, Funny

The thing I never understood about this particular joke is - how did the poster submit the comment?
Re:PS2 Mice - the test by Nick+Harkin · 2003-10-21 02:43 · Score: 2, Funny

Maybe he was dictating?
Dr. Seuss wouldn't do it, either by plover · 2003-10-21 02:52 · Score: 4, Funny

Not in the dark, not with a spark.
Not on a boatse, not with a goatse.
I won't mod the box, and I won't overclox.
I will not hot swap it here or there.
I will not hot swap it anywhere!
I do not hot plug CPUs, Sam. I will not do it, Sam-I-Am.

--
John
Re:PS2 Mice by armando_wall · 2003-10-21 05:19 · Score: 2, Funny

"Last time I went around to a computer store and askedif they had any [grounding strap] I was laughed out of the store.."

I think that was the time when you were wearing a "Chicks dig Linux" T-Shirt.