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A Call for Expandable Codpieces In MMORPGs
Staci Krause writes "The Core for Entertainment and Gaming has an editorial on the growing trend in MMORPGs to to make every area of a woman's anatomy customizable. The female writer of the editorial doesn't mind this at all, but would like to see the same applied to a man's anatomy as well, suggesting: 'Is it so wrong of me to want to see a well endowed man online to run around and battle hideous monsters with?'"
After looking through five stores I can not find a suitable sized cod piece!
Also MUD mariages should be able to be consumated. If not, what kind of marriage is it?
Let there be shiney black fuck off metal cod pieces!
Have fun!
holepit
1 - "Gnome with a DDD cup" is not exactly an attribute that comes to mind when I think of attractive women. "Hey, lookit the ta-tas on that female gnome!"
2 - "Expandable codpieces"? Give me a break. Women are beautiful. The female body is one of the most elegant things (at least in some incarnations) created by nature. Men, well, I dunno, naked guys not being my cup of tea, but "partially decorated christmas tree" comes to mind. "Goofy-lookin" is another adjective.
3 - I always thought that women were a bit less physical than guys? Correct me if I'm wrong, I know that my female friends often look after a guy they think is attractive (male companion: *snort* "he's probably gay") but at least I figured that girls were at least a bit less apt to wolf-whistle at nice-looking men (unless they're 40-ish and desperate.) I know it's a bit stereotypical of me to say so, but I can't remember the last time I heard "hey, nice trouser snake!". But then again, maybe that's just because it's me....
4 - Girls with guns and swords and jet fighters and kung fu moves are just sexy, period. Maybe it's that I find assertive (not bitchy or dominant) women attractive, but I've heard similar statements from lots of male friends. The idea of h0t Ch1x that can blow things up, do gymnastics, and ride speedbikes (Lara Croft, anyone?) is just appealing. I've yet to see a woman get weak-kneed over Conan or Dirty Harry.
5 - If you're really into esoteric codpieces, may I suggest renting some Blackadder DVDs. Black, his codpiece made of metal....
That said, I'm all for equal rights in games. If someone wants to customize their 35th level troll barbarian in any and every aspect, great. Frankly, it'd be sort of funny to see what the 13 year old pimply gamer set comes up with--although I can't see having a Rogue constantly tripping over the enormous 5 foot schlong dragging from his left trouser leg having an enormous advantage in combat.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage
"So how'd you die?"
"Fell off a cliff."
"How'd you manage that?"
"Pushed."
"He pushed you off a cliff?"
"Well.. maybe not pushed.. more like jousted."
"Jousted?!"
"You jousted with him near a cliff?"
"Yep."
"Uh.. but you didn't have a staff."
"Well, no, not one I bought at the store..."
"???"
"It's a guy thing, alright?"
"... So he jousted you off the cliff with his.."
"Well, no, not exactly. I yelled his name and challenged him to joust, and he just.. turned around. Next thing I know there's a cartoonesque hole in the ground."
"Derp de derp."
Well, with some parts of the male anatomy, it would be pointless to give players the ability to customize. Everyone would just use the maximum setting anyways
Perhaps when developers begin to create online worlds more suited to the 10% of their market who are female, we'll see this sort of thing. Until then, keep on dreaming!
Don't you read your email? These kind of 'upgrades' are already available!
-Adam
In second life, you can pretty much customize anything about your appearance. A friend and I tried it out one day - he went completely nuts customizing his body. In the end, he didn't look human. Huge feet, tiny waste, green skin, gigantic nose and eyes - it was quite surreal.
This is one of those days I wish we could post pictures in Slashdot threads - not that I can find the pictures I took of him in the game.
Too bad the game was too clunky. Good idea, bad implementation.
Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.
Replace metal sword with pork sword etc..
Rus
Cheap UK and US VPS
What, take away the major reason to buy bigger weapons in game?
My only problem with this is 14 year olds all running around with huge tents in their pants. Talk about compensating...
No Comment.
Men make it... men play it...men pick. ;)
what will these "femonazi's" want next? lesbian sexuality menus in character creation, no doubt
nah she is right, I fscking hate those "beefcake amazon with bazookas" type characters - gimme a mousey woman with a sharp wit anyday of the week.
About the codpieces, well, I guess turnabout is fair play...
Actually, this whole debacle got me thinking of the Black Adder theme song... You know, back when Rowan Atkinson was actually funny.
...it's what you do with it
/me ducks)
(sorry had to be said,
It's 10 PM. Do you know if you're un-American?
I've always enjoyed making the characters look like me...
I have a big penis AND huge balls so I hope I can not only make the penis size larger but also reflect the gigantic sac I've got as well.
If you really want to make it fair, the equivalent of female breasts is the male pectorals. It's not a sexual organ. Now if you want to go about customizing codpiece size, then how about allowing the ability to customize female avatars with attributes like pubic mound size, degree of camel toe, clitoral projection, etc. Do you want your avatar's clitoris to poke out through the labia, or to remain hidden within the labia?
Want to have more customization? Bring it on!
Hmm, let me think
Women have wolf whistled me
I'm ugly, but athletic.
Therefore there are women who'll wolf whistle ugly but athletic men in lycra shorts.
"Size doesn't matter."
(Freud would have a field day with reading things into customizable MMORPGs options)
"GNU's not Unix....it's Linux" / Kami "kokamomi" Petersen
This is somewhat interesting. I would have thought that a muscular appearance, being easier to see, would be the parallel that the writer would come up with. Instead, she chose to ask that the male characters be allowed to modify their penis size.
May we never see th
The other extreme would be funny. Imagine roleplaying a under-endowed wookie who's always trying to compensate? I'm all for the extra customizing, like another poster said, just make it apply to the female anatomy too. I look foward to seeing "hungbacca" and "Camel Toe Organa" in Star Wars Galaxies soon.
When they say that women are a significant portion of gamers they have to include things like card games...those crappy little things they have on MSN and so forth. Besides, even if women were an important demographic in the real computer game world, the article's puerile suggestions aren't what they would find appealing anyways. Drivel.
But there is another kind of evil that we must fear most... and that is the indifference of good men.
The problem here is the mentality of males in general and male gamers in
particular. If one guy has a sixteen-inch thingy, all the other guys will
want their character to have an eighteen-incher, and if you allow that, it
won't be many more iterations of one-upmanship before you see guys running
around with, effectively, three legs, and I'm not sure it would stop there.
The only way this could be practical at all would be if the game company
charged on an exponential scale for the extra size. Then you'd be able to
tell who had the most money to blow on their character, but apart from that
things could be kept mostly in check, with most of the characters having
proportions only abnormal in the normal "more than reality" way of such
games, rather than making Salvador Dali look sane.
Cut that out, or I will ship you to Norilsk in a box.
Now maybe the ladies won't laugh as much while I run around the West Commons naked looking for my corpse.
I'm sure if this was actually implemented, that the developers would at least have some sort of limit to things...
You know, things like gravity and such have to still apply. There has to be a reason why in Real Life (TM) people aren't running around with larger-than-life proportions.
Granted it's a game, but still at what point does the psuedo-reality become a complete unreality?
Insert Sig Here
The male body is as beautiful as the female body; the notion that it's not attractive is as silly as the notion that women have a lower sex drive. As guys, we usually don't go around checking other guys out -- but we are subconciously rating ourselves in to our competition. Women do this too, they just do it a lot more conciously that guys. They're willing to tell you about it ;) Plus, because of how the media works, there is a lower ratio of attractive guys to attractive girls in most things.
Women do tend to look at more of the full meal deal when talking about how attractive a guy is, but that's only natural since they get to be pregnant. If guys were the ones who became pregnant after a night of sex, I'm sure we'd all be thinking more of the long-term when looking at women. Most guys start to look at the long-term anynays, once they're past the high school relationship phase.
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Internet Explorer (n): Another bug -- that is, a feature that can't be turned off -- in Windows.
This just reaffirms the reasoning for sticking to text-based MMORPGs. The '000h k3w1 gr4af1x' generation simply misses the point.
I used to think Peter Shipley was cool. Then I aged past 16.
Having played Everquest for a while, I am surpriesed that there has not been more freedom to dress your character in more or less suggestive attire as desired. I jokingly refer to this as the /slutty option which you can turn on or off. Actually, I think there is room for a few options: just give people a few (say 3) different looks: encased in steel (most conservative), encased in steel...but with curves in the right places, and revealing...which I will leave to your imagination.
/hidehelm option since we are allowed to do pretty nice customization to our faces with the /pickface command - but then *no one can see it* because we ware these giant helms.
_ __
Essentially, the same could be done for male characters, and the details of which I will leave up to your imagination.
None of this has to involve more graphics. Currently it can all be done via "hiding" certain pieces of armor, to reveal the default clothes underneeth. Many of us in Everquest want a
I know people who intentionally pick "crown" type helms which do not show up just so that people can see their customization. This is particularly important to women, in my experience. They want to look nice in game - and *all* female character models which don't look like monsters having huge breasts annoys them.
I think game designers would garner way more female and casual player interest with three things:
(1) a large degree of avatar customization (Everquest does okay, but there are problems - see above). Give people the option to dress as flirty or elegent or conservative as they want, and obviously allow them to change from one to another.
(2) cooperative gameplay (Everquest is great at this: you gain so much benefit from cooperation with others in groups and in guilds and there really is no emphasis on player killing except on specific servers)
(3) downtime. I know downtime is unpopular, but if you have no time to pause and rest up a bit you will never get to know anything about anyone you are playing with because you will have no time to chat. All MMORPGs probably have great chat tools, but if you have no time to use them... Of course, too much downtime is really bad - its just going to get boring.
Originally I thought GM events and dynamic content would keep me coming back to Everquest, but ultimately it is the players themselves. They have helped me out in the past so I want to help them out in the future, and together a great group of friends makes the game both much easier and more pleasent.
Face it: gameplay is always going to be better in single player games but after playing a MMORPG, I really can't bring myself to play normal offline games much. So I can build a great city in Simcity or conquer the galaxy in Masters of Orion...so what? If I have a positive interaction with someone in Eq, its far, far more rewarding.
It is the casual players, the players who bring their girlfriends/boyfriends etc. which will continue to grow the market for these games. Hard core gamers will always be there, but (1) there are not too many of them and (2) people who commit to play (with their guild for example) every night for 4-8 hours are just plain scary - as a game designer, you are not getting any more money from these people but you are going to get alot more problems from them.
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a war on terrorism? How can we end a war on a method?
I think we all know this is hilarious on paper, funny for the first fifteen minutes, sick for the next 6 months and repulsive for the rest of gaming history.
This is how you do it, and this would be a sort of interesting study to boot:
During character generation, most online RPGs use a point allocation system. Players must strike a balance between the characters abilities. Just add a stat for "bust size" or "package rating". These stats have no effect on game play, all it does is effect how massive the, well junk or chest of the character will be rendered.
Now my question is, how many gamers will actually short change their other stats just so they can be better endowed?
On Wall Street they say "buy low, sell high" On the pad we say, "buy high, sell high" Isn't that somehow better?
I'm constantly hearing women say they think penises are not particularly attractive, look silly, and things like that. Gay guys, too. These aren't women I'm dating, so it's not meant as a hint. ;)
Sure, women drool over mens' bodies. Just not genetalia as much as men drool over womens'.
Use the power of the Swartz!
Ah, I see we have swartz's of equal size
-B
Honestly, I'm sure the ratio of men after nothing but vagina equals the women after nothing but penis.
Most women and men view the body as a whole. It's not just the penises that they're talking about here, it's that women (in general in MMOs) have all their measurements and sizes configurable in a way that isn't possible on the male models.
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Internet Explorer (n): Another bug -- that is, a feature that can't be turned off -- in Windows.