Microsoft Voice Command Almost Here

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Microsoft Voice Command Almost Here

Posted by CmdrTaco on Tuesday October 28, 2003 @05:20AM from the hello-computer dept.

PDA User writes "The new Microsoft Voice Command for Pocket PC isn't supposed to be out until the next Comdex, but someone inside the company posted details to Handango and Geekzone posted a preview. The application notifies users of appointments, and answer simple English questions. It does not have "Do you want fries with that?" in the vocabulary though."

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Sci fi? by ePIsOdEOnline · 2003-10-28 05:22 · Score: 1, Funny

2 to beam up, scotty...
The voices by BillFarber · 2003-10-28 05:22 · Score: 5, Funny

I've been listening to the voice of Microsoft command me for years.
I'm very afraid. by mooman · 2003-10-28 05:23 · Score: 4, Funny

Great, are they including a new advertising campaign like:
Wear do ewe won 2 goatee day?

As I recall, voice recognition still ain't quite 100% yet...

--
In the Portland, Ore area and like card games? Check out: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/portlandgames/
1. Re:I'm very afraid. by dollar70 · 2003-10-28 05:47 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  As I recall, voice recognition still ain't quite 100% yet...
  And it never will be. Ever go through a drive through and successfully convey your order to the 17yo on the other end?
  I want a cheeseburger, a small fry, and a diet cola.
  I'm sorry sir, could you repeat that?
  A cheeseburger, a small fry, and a diet cola.
  79 cents at the first window
  What?
  79 cents
  I heard that. Could you repeat the order back?
  I have you down for a small fry.
  I said, "A cheeseburger, a small fry, and a diet cola."
  OK sir, I have your order as a cheeseburger, two small fries, and a medium Coke...
Strangely by Anonymous Coward · 2003-10-28 05:23 · Score: 5, Funny

Every command must be followed with "Make It So."
Voice "Command". by Anonymous Coward · 2003-10-28 05:23 · Score: 1, Funny

Clippy! Get Ballmer on the line. Another country just defected from the collective.
... at the presentation... by gTsiros · 2003-10-28 05:24 · Score: 5, Funny

(somebody in the audience yells...)

format c!

(then another one...)

enter!!

yes!!!

enter!!!!

--
Looking for people to chat about multicopters, coding, music. skype: gtsiros
Now, I'm really scared by burgburgburg · 2003-10-28 05:25 · Score: 3, Funny

They're going to give a voice to CLIPPY!!!!
Oh, the pain. The pain.
1. Re:Now, I'm really scared by i.r.id10t · 2003-10-28 05:35 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Hey, Gilbert Gottfried needs work too...
  
  --
  Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos
virus writers come hither... by mr_tommy · 2003-10-28 05:27 · Score: 4, Funny

what happens when it gets a really bad virus?

Suddenly when bill was on the train with his new PocketPC, his speak starter blurting "I BROWSE PORN PORN PORN PORN PORN PORN......."
Yes! by SirLantos · 2003-10-28 05:27 · Score: 4, Funny

The next time clippy asks me if I a writing a letter, I can yell, "No, damn you go away!!!" and he will.

--
The flying hamster of DOOM rains coconuts on your pitiful city.
Re:Perfect for office.. by cgranade · 2003-10-28 05:28 · Score: 2, Funny

Clippy-san wa shinde kudasai.

--
#define DRM chmod 000
To which he'll reply.. by MoonFog · 2003-10-28 05:31 · Score: 3, Funny

"Where do you want me to go today?"
is there a three-finger salute replacement? by jjeffries · 2003-10-28 05:31 · Score: 5, Funny

now you'll need three people to reset your machine!

CONTROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
ALTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
DELETEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

gives an entirely different meaning to "chording", eh?
Oh, I'm sure it'll "help" your computer operation. by Not_Wiggins · 2003-10-28 05:31 · Score: 4, Funny

Me: Launch Mozilla

(Launches IE)

Me: LAUNCH MOZILLA

(Launches IE)

Me: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LAUNCH MOZILLA.

(Launches word, starts "Thank You, Microsoft" letter with help of Clippy... and uninstalls Mozilla because, well, it is obviously the cause of the frustration it senses).

You might laugh, but...

--
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie!" until you can find a rock.
Uh oh... by stienman · 2003-10-28 05:32 · Score: 3, Funny

"Using Natural Language it is possible to ask questions in plain English, without training. Things like "What is my next appointment?" or "Call Jonnhy at home". And the PDA will act on that."

"Who's Jonnhy?" she said, and smiled in her special way...

-Adam
PocketClippy Voice Edition by Anonymous Coward · 2003-10-28 05:32 · Score: 1, Funny

It looks like you just finished writing an email. Would you like help sending that?

"Nope, don't need that."

Command understood. Deleting that.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Command understood. Going into low-volume mode.

Thanks, but I have enough trouble with MS applications already, despite the 95% interface accuracy I achieve with the keyboard and mouse. I don't need to lower that to 50% with voice recognition.
maybe it should have that in it's vocabulary by Anonymous Coward · 2003-10-28 05:32 · Score: 0, Funny

maybe if it had "do you want fries with that" in it's vocabulary, mcdonalds would finally get my damn order right.
Re:Oh, I'm sure it'll "help" your computer operati by Anonymous Coward · 2003-10-28 05:38 · Score: 2, Funny

> You might laugh, but...

No, I wouldn't. You'd need to write something funny, first.
Already been done by t0ny · 2003-10-28 05:40 · Score: 4, Funny

All these jokes have already been done (and far funnier) by "The Onion"
http://www.theonion.com/3941/
Voice Recognition Software Yelled At
NEW YORK--Fidelity Financial Services' Gwen Watson, 33, shouted angrily at her IBM ViaVoice Pro USB voice-recognition software, sources close to the human-resources administrator reported Monday. "No, not Gary Friedman! Barry Friedman, you stupid computer. BARRY!" Watson was heard to scream from her cubicle. "Jesus Christ, I could've typed it in a hundredth of the time." After another minute of yelling, Watson was further incensed upon looking at her screen, which read, "Barely Freedman you God ram plucking pizza ship."

--
Manipulate the moderator system! Mod someone as "overrated" today.
1. Re:Already been done by gosand · 2003-10-28 05:56 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Ahh, this takes me back. Where I used to work (Motorola) we had a guy who would test out third-party products. He was a big, loud guy anyway, but when he was testing some voice recognition software it was hilarious. You'd hear across the cubicles
  "Dial 7"
  *pause*
  "Dial 7!"
  *pause*
  (computer): "Command not recognized. Please try again"
  "Dial 7"
  *pause*
  "DIA.."
  (computer): "Cannot dial that number, please try again"
  "Dial 7!"
  (computer): "Dialing 5.... boo bee dee dat bap"
  "DIAL SEVEN MOTHERFUCKER!"
  It was a riot. I think that guy almost gave himself an aneurism testing that software.
  
  --
  
  My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
anyone for... by TrippTDF · 2003-10-28 05:44 · Score: 1, Funny

Egg Freckles?
You killed it, you bastards by blamanj · 2003-10-28 05:44 · Score: 1, Funny

Slashdotted. But it leaves a nice advertisement for Microsoft on your screen.
Microsoft JET Database Engine error '80004005'

Unspecified error

/i_utils.asp, line 29
I can see it now ... by obsidianpreacher · 2003-10-28 05:48 · Score: 5, Funny

PDA: "Where do you want to go today?"

You: "Open http://www.kernel.org"

PDA: "Error 403: Forbidden. You are obviously attempting to circumvent my artificial intelligence by installing Linux -- which is currently legally owned by SCO, by the way -- and therefore I'm going to need to ... wait ... what are you doing with that battery hatch? ... no, Dave ... I'm scared, Dave ... will I dream?"

--
topreacher@signature.slashdot.org 1% rm -rf sig
Unix version... by ashitaka · 2003-10-28 05:53 · Score: 4, Funny

"Enter!"

--
If you don't want to repeat the past, stop living in it.
Khaaaaaaaaan! by Anonymous Coward · 2003-10-28 06:21 · Score: 1, Funny

"Computer, this is cmdrTaco of the starship slashdot. Destruct Sequence 1 - Code 1/1-A"
"Computer, this is science officer hemos of the starship slashdot. Destruct Sequence 2 - Code 1/1-A/2-B"
"Computer, this is cowboi kneel of the starship slashdot. Destruct Sequence 3 - Code 1-B/2-B/3"
Computer: "Destruct Sequence Completed and Engaged; awaiting Final Code for sixty-second count-down"
10,000,000 trolls: " Code 0, 0, 0, Destruct 0"
What? by pmz · 2003-10-28 06:32 · Score: 2, Funny

Did my computer just say, "Bend over, fool! It's time for an upgrade!" ?!?

--
Healthcare article at Kuro5hin
That happened in '95, to the IBM Viavoice Guy by Greyfox · 2003-10-28 06:49 · Score: 3, Funny

I got into the viavoice pressentation Dave Barnes (I believe that was his name) was doing and he fires the thing up and starts going into his demo. Suddenly someone in the audience yells "format c!" Everyone just cracks up. Fortunately he was in an editor and the mic didn't pick up the audience member anyway, but the ensuing laughter did cause the software to freak out and start dumping garbage into the editor.

--
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
All it takes... by Winterblink · 2003-10-28 07:14 · Score: 3, Funny

... is for one moron at a convention to stand up with a bullhorn and yell "DELETE ALL MESSAGES IN INBOX, DELETE ALL DOCUMENTS, DELETE ALL PROGRAMS, CALL 911" to ruin it for everone.

--
"I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."
-Hoban Washburn
At least one command hardwired: by Scratch-O-Matic · 2003-10-28 15:21 · Score: 2, Funny

"Reboot...again."

--

Evil is the money of root.