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User: jjeffries

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Comments · 360

  1. crimes against music on The Swedish DJ Who Invented Industrially-Manufactured Pop Music (bbc.com) · · Score: 1

    The evidence before the court is Incontrovertible!
    There's no need for the jury to retire.
    In all my years of judging,
    I have never heard before
    Of someone more deserving
    Of the full penalty of law

  2. wow no way gasp i'm super surprised oh my stars garters amen

  3. You're holding it wrong! on iPhone Owners Irate After iOS Update Bricks Cellular Data (tomsguide.com) · · Score: 1

    Best performance is attained by gripping it tightly betweenst your butt-cheeks, good fellow.

  4. When they get 'there'... on Are the Wealthy Plotting To Leave Us Behind? (medium.com) · · Score: 4, Funny

    I hope that someone is already there to sanitize their telephones.

  5. Can't wait to dust off my Apple //e!

  6. Two years ago, if you had asked me... on The $100B Bet: The Meaning of the Vision Fund (economist.com) · · Score: 1

    I'd have said Linus Torvalds.

    And I would do the same today.

  7. Like the TARDIS on Is Elon Musk Greatly Exaggerating Tesla's Battery Technology? (bloomberg.com) · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's bigger on the inside.

  8. Also what is "apple" about this?

  9. more than hundreds of millions on Mobile Search Engine Baidu Goes Dark For Nearly 20 Minutes (cnet.com) · · Score: 1

    "more than hundreds of millions"... if only there was a word for this...

  10. Thanks for reminding me that it's time to make my once-a-year trip to the golden arches for the somewhat bizarre minty goodness that is the shamrock shake.

  11. That is totally unsurprising! on Scientists Find 'Oldest Human Ancestor' -- A Big-Mouthed Sea Creature With No Anus (bbc.com) · · Score: 1

    NT

  12. enthusiastically predominate next-gen mindshare! on 'SingularDTV' Will Use Ethereum For DRM On A Sci-Fi TV Show (rocknerd.co.uk) · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Monotonectally facilitate efficient intellectual capital! Enthusiastically strategize strategic paradigms! Credibly productize leading-edge scenarios!

  13. I wonder if it can detect cancer with other, err, bodily gas flows...

  14. Teen-agers should not be smoking cannabis. Legalize and regulate it like alcohol... 21+

  15. not a real choice on AT&T Chooses Ubuntu Linux Instead of Microsoft Windows (betanews.com) · · Score: 4, Interesting

    In telcos, Linux is the successor to Sun/Solaris. It's been happening for a while now, and it really sped up a lot when Oracle bought Sun. Windows was never a real option here.

  16. Re:So crappy movie on Create Your Favorite Actor From Nothing But Photos (i-programmer.info) · · Score: 1

    Take that back! Looker is an awesome movie! An awful kind of awesome, but awesome nonetheless.

  17. actually... on When Does Software Start Becoming Malware? · · Score: 1

    Tuesday.

  18. great news! on Do We Need More Emojis? · · Score: 1

    This will be a boon to Duck Bacon producers everywhere!

  19. Ample Text In Cervix Dad All Owls Siri 2 An Circles Ant Rans Ride Boys Males

  20. Dude, look at your hands! on (Your Job) Is a Video Game · · Score: 1, Funny

    They're, like, fucking amazing, aren't they?

  21. Re:Umm, bullshit. on DuckDuckGo Sees Massive Growth In Post-Snowden World · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Except that there is no such speculation.

    Well, there is now!

  22. This is what happens... on India Ends Russian Space Partnership and Will Land On the Moon Alone · · Score: 0

    ...when you do not do the needful! You get dumped!

  23. Model M here! on Mechanical 'Clicky' Keyboards Still Have Followers (Video) · · Score: 1

    Mfg. date: 7/31/92

    I have about 5 more in reserve, should be enough to last me until I can't type no mo'.

    clickity clickity clickity!

  24. get one now! on Baidu's Supercomputer Beats Google At Image Recognition · · Score: 1

    Only $7.42 including shipping! (AC adapter not included.) Estimated 21-47 days delivery time to USA.

  25. nonsense on The Medical Bill Mystery · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Screw this crap... Single payer soon, single provider eventually. Let's try to be a first-world country and not just the world's largest provider of bomb craters.