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SCO Will Pay You Not to Use Linux
Verteiron writes: "As if things weren't weird enough already, SCO is now planning to pay companies to migrate away from Linux.. even if it's not toward UNIX. According to the summary over at Groklaw, SCO will provide 'financial incentives and discounts' to users that switch to 'other operating systems that have a stronger IP basis than Linux.' This doubly amusing when considered together with the following statements straight from SCO's 8-K form filed with the SEC:
'...plans to expand SCO's intellectual property licensing program to allow for migration alternatives to end users... and continued efforts to protect SCO's UNIX intellectual property rights and SCO's belief that the private investment will enhance SCO's ability to pursue currently pending legal actions... SCO has a history of unprofitability and has only realized revenue from its SCOsource licensing initiative during the last two quarters...'"
Where do I sign up?
Karma: Meh (Mostly from meh.)
Holy mother of God, this story keeps getting better and better.
I have 5 FreeBSD boxes running.
Where do i sign up?
do() || do_not();
Ok, seriously, who thinks the underwear gnomes have a better bussiness plan?
Mod me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!
I don't run Linux on my wristwatch. Where's my check?
I, for one, welcome our new SCO overlords...
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.
VC weenie: What's your business plan?
Darl McB: Pay people to switch from an OS we don't own to others we don't own.
VC weenie: Here's 5 million dollars - can I be on your board?
XML causes global warming.
Is for them to pay me to pull my foot out of their ass.
Sorry...did I say "rebate"?
Tools --> Change Browser Identification --> Internet Explorer on Windows 2000
/me then looks for the form on SCO's site.
I'm not a prophet or a stone-age man,
I'm just a mortal with potential of a super man.
Cool! I was just gonna switch a bunch of machines from end-of-life Red Hat to FreeBSD. FreeBSD has gone through the legal machine already, so it's intellectual property shiznit is STRONG!
DARL WHERE IS MY CHECK BIG GUY!!!!!!
PS: we also have some Gentoo boxes, I hope we don't have to migrate those too. But we can discuss the details.
I'M SO READY FOR YOU DARL BABY!!!!!
1. Pay users to use product from competitors 2. Profit! 3. ???
karma capped
Sure, I'll be happy to switch N virtual machines over to a binary-only SCOware or Microsoft instead of Linux, if they'll pay me enough per virtual machine. .
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
No, really. I love Linux, and my company uses it on many desktops (about 40%) as well as our main file server, mail server, and ftp server, and I'll unplug each and every one on Friday, November 14th if they'll pay me.
Of course, the sad fine print is that my company is closing on Friday, November 14th, but I'll do it, by gum. Just show me the money!
--
to use AIX? That is not Linux.
No trees were harmed in the composition of this; however, numerous electrons were inconvenienced.
This is really sounding like SCO believes they're trotting down the Yellow Brick Road; they are in lala-land to think they can pay major corporations to change their infrastructure; SCO would have to sell itself to get the money to do it.
Cast:
The Wizard: SCO
Dorothy: Linux Users (Not in Kansas anymore)
Toto: Tux
Glinda, Good Witch of the North: IBM
The Scarecrow: Darl McBride
The Lion: SCO's shareholders
The TinM(e)n: SCO's Lawyers
Wicked Witch of the West: Micro$oft
If "disco" means "I learn" in Latin, does "discothèque" mean "I learn technology"?
Potential Investor: What's your business plan?
Guy with goatee: We'll be selling e-products over the e-web. Our e-services will include e-billing, e-shipping, and e-tracking. This will actually reduce our infrastructure and overhead costs to negative numbers, so we won't even need to actually sell anything.
PI: Here's all my money, and my 18 year old duaghter.
It's nothing but crumpled porno and Ayn Rand.
They're trying to make such a huge, confusing mess out of the while issue that someone buys them out just to shut them up.
SCO is getting worse than the crazy homeless people in San Francisco that scream Bible passages at you as you're walking by..
Actually, wait. The homeless nutcases have a better business plan.
The article says:
Attention SCO: Your plan has worked!
I'm migrating from MS to Linux right now in preparation for the incentives to migrate away later.
********* sig: If you don't like the law, get filthy stinking rich, and buy a better one.
Where the hell do i sign up before they go bankrupt?
They are nuts.. or really hitting the drugs hard.
I still dont understand their desire to destroy linux, if it wasnt for linux, caldera would never have had the capital to purchase SCO and start this lunacy..
---- Booth was a patriot ----
1. Switch from Linux to FreeBSD
2. Get money from SCO
3. Switch back
4. Lather, rinse, repeat
If my call is important, why am I talking to a recording?
What about AmigaOS?
I thought that might fit.
More like that one Daffy Duck short where he's on stage, struggling mightily to get ANY kind of audience reaction.
He sings, he dances, and the audience just yawns. Finally he uses his one remaining sure-fire act to get a reaction. He swills down a bottle of nitroglycerin and makes himself explode.
And the crowd goes wild, but meanwhile, nothing but of Daffy remains except for a black stain. That's what this whole thing is:
Daffy, until it explodes and there's nothing left.
Help fight continental drift.
What possible reason can SCO have for encouraging people to switch over to Windows (as the article indicates they might) unless they are in bed with Microsoft?
Maybe they want people to experience first-hand how much Windows sucks?
and it turns out that SCO have been lying all the way does this make MS guilty of conspiracy to defraud?
If so, who at MS will be held responsible for the decision because it's quite hard to believe that a minion at Microsoft could take a decision of this magnitude.
Scene 1:
Prison Cell containing two men. The fatter of the two seems to be dancing in a style something akin to a monkey......
Fat man....
That's another fine mess you've got us into Darl....
Darl...... (add own blubbery weeping noise here)
Hmmmmmm..... Deep fried and look like Squirrel.
1) Install Linux (free)
2) Tell SCO you use Linux
3) Reinstall Windows/anyOS
3) Profit!!!
How in God's name can so few smoke so much in so little time??
Damn, and I thought the people on the west side were bad!
How does this make sense from a business perspective?
Simple - they're using MPAA/RIAA math!
See, for every person who uses your IP for free, you lose money - so you figure out how much you're losing per unit, and offer people less money than that to not use your IP..
For example, if SCO determines that they're losing $100 per Linux server, and there are currently 100,000 people running Linux that would take them up on their offer, then all they have to do is offer people $50 to not run Linux.. then Viola! They've now made a positive difference of $50,000,000 to their bottom line!
Disclaimer: although I'm currently drunk, this makes perfect sense to me. I may or may not feel the same way once I've sobered up.
From what I understand of that legalese, this only applies when the company is actually supplying a product - it doesn't say anything about paying someone not to use a competitor's product if you're not selling them one of your own.
I guess they never thought anyone would be dumb enough to actually try it.
Linux has a higher TCO than Windows.
I could not justify my existence if I were a turkey farmer. Would I terminate myself? Undoubtably, yes.
Sign right below the line that says, "Contract with SCO, a newly-acquired beeyatch of Microsoft, Inc."
You can't judge a book by the way it wears its hair.
"We are the kinights who say NIX"
I think the most common comment I've seen on slashdot apart from anti SCO sentiments is "I'd switch to a mac tomorrow if I could afford it..."
:)
Combine the two!
Switch to a mac tomorrow, and use SCO to subsidise the switch. Hell, switch ALL your linux boxes to macs and get a really big subsidy. Put SCO's money where your mouth is
OK. "NUT". *grin*
Only if someone held a gun to Linus' head. Remember, anything that gets into the kernel, Linus takes at least a passing squint at. M$ code isn't good enough to get into the kernel.
Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.
Phew! I'm relieved to see all they are doing is expressing that which they hold deep within their hearts -- the desire to see companies everywhere strive to charge large sums of money for anything useful. And for the willingness of the population to scoff in the direction of anything with a 'less than snazzy' pricetag. I was actually worried that they were selfish bastards who thought nothing of anyone but themselves. They're really just trying to preserve the American Dream, how incredibly noble of these good 'ol boys.
Speak for yourself.
Idiots...
The company was obviously crippled by the other 60%. The fact that the company survived this long is testament to Linux's wholesome GNUey goodness! :-D
Should the parent die at age 54? Does Netcraft confirm the death of the joke?
Questions, questions.