Slashdot Mirror
Orbdev Files US Federal Suit Over Asteroid Claim
chongo writes "Orbital
Development has
filed
legal action against the United States by filing a Complaint for Declaratory Judgment in Federal Court.
After NASA's NEAR
probe landed
on the
asteroid
433 Eros,
Gregory W. Nemitz,
who
claims
to have owned the asteroid since the 3rd of March 2000,
sent NASA an $20 invoice for the
first 100 years of parking and storage fees.
NASA told him to "pound
sand".
OrbDev's
Eros
Project seeks to promote their ludicrous ideas about property rights in
space."
If that asteroid were in Texas, the guy wouldn't be able to collect rent unless he'd lived there at least a year.
(Yes, I made that up.)
"If I gave you everything in the world, where would you put all of it?" -God
READY.
PRINT ""+-0
After successfully suing NASA and leading SCO to total domination of the software market, Mr Nemitz has declared himself to be a free agent in search of a new job title.
Offers so far include: Chairman of the Lets Rebuild Iraq Foundation for Oil Shipments and PR representative for the Taliban.
Nemitz was quoted by Newsweek as saying, "All your base are belong to us".
I am a leaf on the wind
What is the fine this sort of a thing?
Gregory W. Nemitz
Address: 8301-252 Mission Gorge Road, Santee, Calif. 92071 USA
Tel: 775-450-6144
Fax: 413-460-6480
Email: gnemitz@orbdev.com
Of course, this is all public information, and obviously I'm not encouraging anyone to contact or harrass Mr. Nemitz.
Then just go here.
Government cannot make man richer, but it can make him poorer. - Ludwig von Mises
And I charge $100 bucks a week for rent. Me thinks he owes me quite a bit of back rent.
Defender of Microsoft and Communism!!!
In a countersuit to be filed tomorrow, NASA plans to subpoena Orbdev officials under a claim that Orbdev owes NASA $38 million in parking fees for hitching their asteroid to NASA's probe.
An unnamed NASA official claims, "It's [Orbdev's] gravity keeping the thing there. God knows our probe has other places it could be going if it didn't have to drag along this dead weight."
Eros could not be reached for comment.
Kevin Fox
Dear OrbDev,
Department policy forbids payment of parking tickets that have not first been duly affixed to the windshield of the vehicle. Please let us know when you have done so.
Love,
NASA
Better watch out! Mr.Nemitz is going to call dibs on Uranus next!
It has come to my attention that certain members of the computing industry are using my intellectual property, commonly known as "mathematics."
While I do not intend to file suit immediately, I would like anyone to consider carefully whether they are using anything which may get them into trouble -- including, but not limited to, addition, subtraction, division, multiplication, and/or any derivative works thereof.
If you would like to avoid any potential legal action, please contact me and we can begin licensing talks.
A precedent has already been set in the way Antarctica is managed:-
-1st in gets rights to their chunk - e.g. Australia
-Others get access for "scientific research" e.g. U.S. has a base at the south pole but doesn't "own it"
Everyone declares the zone a conservation area.
Someone builds a road to the pole to allow access
"Scientific investigation" discovers oil
World leaders decide that conservation less important than the black stuff (look no one fires back at you in Antartica)
Profit!!!!
...and he threatened to crash his asteroid into my house. Not exactly how I hoped it would go.
Defender of Microsoft and Communism!!!
Typically iron found in Space is contaminated with platinium, normally by about .005 or one-half of one percent. Assuming that 433 Eros is only 5% iron, there are 22.5 billion tons of platinium on the asteroid. The current price for platinium is about $750 per troy ounce. There are 29,167 troy ounces per short ton for a total 656,250,000,000,000 troy ounces. At today's price, that is $492,187,500,000,000,000 (~1/2 quintillion dollars).
Thanks for calculating it for us... now pay up. :)
is invite Gregory W. Nemitz down to Cape Canaveral to view the next launch of a space shuttle.
They can set him up with a lawn chair, a cooler of beer and an umbrella to keep the sun off as he sits under the shuttle with an excellent view of the main engines.
SCO should take over Orbdev, and fight the case. If they win, the entire firm SCO, and all their employees, shareholders and lawyers will be provided a free trip to the asteroid, and can enforce their other IP rights over there. They can call IBM, Linus, RMS etc. after building a Court on the asteroid. -
If you keep throwing chairs, one day you'll break windows....
Hmmm...
Looks like Eros has the disctinction of being the only celestial body known to man that is both shaped like, and owned by an enormous prick!
Bowie J. Poag
Thank you Ayn Rand.
Thanks, whig, you just made my night. I'd say Ayn Rand was the devil if she deserved such a high title. Her writing is trash; her ideas are trash; and to include her in the world of academia and serious discussion is a crime against humanity: Ayn Rand is... shite, 'writing' under the guise of 'equality' and self preservation. She'd be Hitler, except that he did like others like him.
porp
Dear NASA,
Please be advised that your vehicle has hereby been impounded.
It is being held on the same asteroid in our newly-formed impound area.
Attempting to remove your vehicle from the impound lot without authorization will result in criminal penalties and the possibility of severe tire damage.
Love,
OrbDev
-- My Weblog.
And you have mixed your URL's up! :-)
Martin
NASA should pay up, and then claim against him for any damage that occurs to their probe - which in the hostile environment of space will be quite a bit.
:-)
Unless he's written a contract to the contrary, I suggest he could be held liable for the damage. I doubt he has posted any signs disclaiming responsibility
To Gregory W. Nemitz
Re: Amnesty for unauthorized use of service
I, Helios Apollo, owner of a main sequence, spectral class G2 star of radius 696,000 km, situated approximately 1.5e8 kilometers from the planet Earth and known in the English language as "the Sun", have been advised that you may have been using the service known as "Sunshine", a stream of photons emitted by the above-mentioned star, for the purposes of visual navigation. Since, according to my records, you are not a licensed user of the service, I am asking that you account for your usage of the service beginning from 0h00 UTC January 1, 2000 according to either of the following billing plans and remit any amounts that may be payable.
The Photon Count Plan. Count all photons emitted from the surface of the Sun of wavelength greater than 395 nanometers and less than 695 nanometers that directly impinge upon your person and all of your belongings including real estate, then multiply by the factor 4.0 times ten to the minus twenty-five to yield the amount in cents of U.S. currency.
The Earth Residency Plan. Only 36 cents per day of use. Use shall be deemed to occur in a 24 hour period if at least one photon would have been used under the Photon Count Plan.
To be exempted from accounting for use of the service, please submit a copy of Certificate of Vampire Status.
So, what EXACTLY are the intellectual challenges of refuse collection, to give one example.
Hmm... persuading someone else that it's worth doing?
Unfortunately for Orbital Development, asteroids are not under the juridiction of US Federal courts. They will neeed to refile their claim with local authorities on asteroid 433
Gentlemen!
:)
;)
I bought one of those plots at $25 or whatever, as a gift for a girl I wanted to impress. I forgot from whom. Maybe moonplot.com or whatever. And it worked: she got her Certificate of Ownership or some such bumf, with her 'property' (in the 'Sea of Nonesuch' or whatever) marked on a separate chart. All nice with a seal and what have you. Worked, too: "Oh, you bought me a piece of the mooooooon! Wow! Sweeeeeeet!" etc. I'll spare you guys the details
All in all, a well-invested $25 in some cases. But don't plan on actually doing this on property investment grounds. You ARE buying stuff from snake oil salesmen -- just that this snake oil does work in some circumstances.
Note: this works because the moon has obvious romantic connotations (Lovers' Moon, Harvest Moon, 'over the moon', and so forth). I wouldn't plan on impressing someone by buying them a plot on Io. Unless you really have a very cool girlfriend. Or unless you are female, and you want to impress one of US.
And no, we're not still together
YM -- as with everything -- MV.
Cheers,
Nalfy
-- Despair is an operating system that ANY human being can run, sort of a psychological JAVA --
Our sun is already claimed...
So... Sol's owner should be hearing from
Japan regarding the solar flare damage his/her
star did to their satellites.
I believe I'll have a valid claim for
damage to my tinfoil hat.
"Do you have a flag? If you don't have a flag it's not yours."
This reminds me of that Eddie Izzard routine where the Europeans are seizing land from the Indians. After telling them repeatedly that they're not a nation and it's not their land unless they have a flag, the Indians go off and make themselves a flag. When they come back the English say... "Good - do you have a gun?" The Indians are... "Ooooh - you need a GUN and a flag." Sorry but this chap can wave around whatever bits of paper (and make as many flags) as he likes, but unless he has a 'gun' with which to threaten the government, it isn't going to work.
Of course, Terran property rights ultimately come down to who has the most guns too, but people forget that (unless they're Iraqi.)
Aide-toi, le Ciel t'aidera - Jeanne D'Arc.
Ouch... how embarrassing must it be to misspell "grok" when mocking someone else?
http://kered.org
or how USA doesn't own Kuwait although its troops are protecting the monarchy and the country.
HAHAHAHAHAHAha... oh, wait, you weren't kidding?
By that same virtue, a single flag could mark all four corners of the boundries. :)
"We are so very sorry for landing on your asteroid. We will gladly pay all rental fees & damages. A check will be delivered to you at said asteroid with the utmost urgency. We appreciate your patience.
Love,
NASA"
The Eros Project is primarily sponsored by Beefjerky.com. You can support this critial legal work in progress by trying some delicious "Final Frontier Jerky" from Beefjerky.com. This is the beef jerky that is selected by Astronauts and has flown to Space three times.
BTW: I have a friend a NASA that told me they turned the wheel all the way over to left, engaged the parking break and left the unit in GEAR!! Let's see them tow that!!
Dear Mr. Nemitz,
It has come to my attention that a celestial body that you own, the asteriod Eros, has been residing in the Milky Way galaxy, property owned by me and my company [stupid company name here]. According to our records, Eros has been in the Milky Way for many billions of years, however we are willing to wave the storage fees for all but the last 100 years. At the going rate or $7.00 per hour (maximum $75 per day), your total debt to us comes to $2,739,342.00.
Keep in mind that we will still continue to charge for storage at the above rate until Eros is removed from the Milky Way galaxy, and the appropriate paperwork is filled out in triplicate.
Thank you,
Dr. Lyphorm
CEO
[stupid company name here]
______-___--_-__-_---_-----__-_-___-_-_---_-----_