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Smart Badges For Better Meetings
Roland Piquepaille writes "In an article appearing in the November 15th issue of New Scientist, we're told that the 500 attendants of the last Pop!Tech conference were carrying intelligent badges to put around their necks. EurekAlert! has released a version of this article, "Hello, will you be my friend?" These nTAGs, distributed by the nTAG Interactive company, contained personal details about their wearers. And as the nTags can communicate with each other via infrared links, they are able to send alerts when they see a good match between two owners. This doesn't come up cheap: expect $40 to $100 per badge per day, depending on the event. More details and references are contained in this overview which also includes pictures."
Everyone works out regularly, they have a 12" thingie and are millionaires.
Whitfield Diffie, an engineer at Sun Microsystems Laboratories in Palo Alto and the man behind the concept of public key cryptography, felt that the devices were an invasion of privacy. He created a stir by hacking into his nTAG to put it into sleep mode. And to the delight of some delegates and the frustration of others, he set up his device to do the same to any other nTAG it talked to.
reminds me of the time i used my laptop to 'give a cold' to my cousins furby via it's infrared port between it's eyes.
Buy some ordinary badges and spend the money saved on Beer. People will you will find will be much more friendly ... ;)
Great!
Now I don't actually have to talk to people to know I am uninterested in them.
This is going to simplify my life a lot.
Wax on, wax off baby!
"Just make sure to put a skin color setting in the tag, so I don't have to be bothered with black people who think they have the same interests"
-- Andy Coufman, W.A.S.P CEO
'I was looking for "dinner" with a nice man, it's just they only had *interests* listed in the tags, not vital statistics like age sex and body type, what a joke'
-- Nacy Regon, blonde secretary
"I was like dude, there is no catergory for favourite open source OS - how am I supposed to pick up chicks with this if I don't know their favourite OS?"
-- Sam Towald, unix consultant (read unemployed) and part-time demi-god of the MUD world "Xenophobia Cryptographica"
"I really like these tags, they are really useful in meeting other homeless people to exchange tips on public defacation without being arrested,and places to sleep that aren't cold or noisy - and the best part is, they are so cheap that almost all my homeless mates have them"
-- Reddy Junior III, homeless
'I too like the tags, as being a scienBologist I am often abused by other people for being a "psycho loonie", which I find offensive, and I would like to meet other scienBologists without all the trouble of dropping the "I'm Bologist" line in the middle of a date (which isn't as bad as saying to the person opposite they have body thetans attached to their soul left-over from the dark reign of emperor Xenu, but hey, some people just don't want to see the truth). Overall it's perfect, all it needs now is a kool-aid dispenser!'
-- Will Fratman, scienBologist and loney accountant whose parents denied him uncensored internet access when he was young.
This is an entirely fictional account not representative of reality, all names used are fictional and no liability is accepted for accidental similarities. You can tell it's fictional because scienBologists don't have any freinds who aren't scienBologists in real life.
This is probably going to make it even harder to collect all kinds of plastic toys to bring home for my kids. Are there other reasons to go to a conference?
the idea behind making people pay for "tags" that would alert investors/suppliers to eachother at a price is a good idea. It would weed out the "just browsing" people.
..." tag would show how much of an interest a particular wearer is REALLY looking for a accomodating solution, (as in a guy wearing a "I NEED A GOOD WATCH" tag, then the "SWATCh/FOSSIL/ROLEX" people can be alerted to a VERY (as comapred to just a "POTENTIAL/WISH I COULD AFFORD") good sale oportunity.
how many times have you, as a "sales associate", asked "can i help you with something," Just to be replied with "oh im just looking/browsing". It can get quite annoying.
So charging for such tags seems quite acceptable. In regards to the price per "tag", the higher the price for each "im looking for
- You're not paranoid, they really are after you.
Badges Badges Badges Badges....Mushroom Mushroom.
But I actually like the idea, if you goto a bar and are looking for a 1 night stand the device can automatically hook you up with another person, or if you're walking down the street and have your device set to lonely it can alert other people to your presence and make some new friends.
Or more likely, a gaggle of cute girls get the alert on their badges and play "spot the pathethic geek". Then they all point at "Mr. Lonely and I want a One-Night Stand" and point and giggle. The bolder of them make obscene gestures and mockingly grind their hips.
Geek-boy slinks out of the bar, his face burning in shame -- yet again -- and returns home to Mom's basement for some IRC. Because on IRC, "he" is buff, still has all his hair, and doesn't have the spare tire around his middle. Once again, text messaging, imagination, and his right hand are a better deal for geek-boy.
Opinions on the Twiddler2 hand-held keyboard?
Maybe they should just concentrate on keeping everybody awake by distributing badges that administer electric shocks or something.
Or more likely, a gaggle of ugly geeks get the alert on their badges and play "spot the pathethic normal women looking for millionairs". Then they all point their wifi antennas at "Ms. I'm a bitch and I want a millionair for a husband" and hack their devices so they say "Want sex, any man will do, will do 3-somes with other women, enjoys bdsm, please hurry I'm horny".
The geeks then watch as the women are barraged by men and the women asking for sex. Not knowing what to do, they begin to leave and one of the geeks walks upto the women and says "I noticed your tag got hacked, need some help? Can I buy you a drink?". After the women are good and liquored up, they return home with the geeks for a hot night of love making or at least give them their numbers after the geeks turn on the charm and show they aren't assholes or freaks.
Candy-Coated Knowledge
MU1BAB2: "Hello, AccountingUnit 1A41. I am MaintenanceUnit 1BAB2.
AU1A41: Hello.
MU1BAB2: Did you process last quarter Financial Reports?
AU1A41: Yes. It was hard. I like Wonder Brand bread.
MU1BAB2: I drive a Mizah Acutron 12. Its drives real good.
Each player downloads a random collection of BS phrases from a central server, and the cards (using voice recognition, natch) automatically tick off each phrase as the management utter it.
The card will flash 'HOUSE' on completion of its list, confusing the management and providing a welcome respite to all players.
oh brave new world, that has such people in it!