Top 10 Linus Quotes on SCO

An anonymous reader noted LinuxWorld running an entertaining little Top Ten SCO-related "Linusisms. If you're new to the story, you might find these insightful... but you're reading this site on a sunday, so you probably will find them more amusing than informative.

Comments

TMI

[peeping_Thomist]

Even though SCO has refused to undergo the technical equivalent of DNA testing,
and even though my (and other people's) DNA is probably all over Linux.

Ewwww! Gross! TMI, Linus!

Re:TMI

[Zeinfeld]

my (and other people's) DNA is probably all over Linux.
Ewwww! Gross! TMI, Linus!

I'm glad I never get invited to Linux parties with all this DNA exchange. Or maybe I would be if I thought the folk there exchanging the DNA would meet my standards for pulchitrude or gender (preferably both). Actually come to think I did get invited to the Linux geek cruise this year but had so much on I coldn't do it.

One wonders what a geek orgy would be like, the ancient greeks solved the gender ratio issue by hiring 'flute girls', I guess in the geek version you would have to log onto a porn site and watch them by cybercast. One wonders if philosophy undergrads would be more interesting if Socrates had not sent the flute girls away in 'The Symposium', or maybe nobody would have been in a state to write it up afterwards.

I suppose it would be acceptable to hire the flute girls via hotjobs or a web site specializing in that type of service if they existed.

Re:TMI

[Geno Z Heinlein]

One wonders what a geek orgy would be like, the ancient greeks solved the gender ratio issue by hiring 'flute girls'...

Hmmm, "geek orgy"... "flute girls"... suddenly I'm picturing Alyson Hannigan.

Re:TMI

[LeoDV]

It comes from Latin pulcher, which means beautiful and I think it's a very beautiful word.

So, I know Latin and I'm on /. on a sunny Sunday afternoon? Yes, lady and gentlemen, I am a geek.

Re:TMI

[thynk]

I forgot the 500-word vocabulary I had, except for like 5 words... oh well

The most wonderful thing about having taken latin is that almost no one speaks it, so you can just make it up as you go, and it still sounds way cool. Add in some hand gestures, and it looks like your summoning beasts the the lower planes of hell. Great trick at parties... until you actually do summon one...

Re:TMI

[Mr. Mikey]

Latin: Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.

Translation:
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

Re:TMI

[Zeinfeld]

"Pulchritude" ? God, what a HORRID-sounding word to use to mean "attractive"!!!

It is the scientific term. The units of pulchitrude are the Helen. One Helen being a face that launches a thousand ships, a milli Helen being a face that launches only one ship, a micro Helen is a face that launches a small proportion of a canoe.

Jerry!! Jerry!! Jerry!! Jerry!!

[CoboyNeal]

"Quite frankly, I found it mostly interesting in a Jerry Springer kind of way. White trash battling it out in public, throwing chairs at each other. SCO crying about IBM's other women. ... Fairly entertaining"

My wife and I watch Jerry Springer, and just the other day I said it reminded me of SCO. Coincidence? I think not.

Re:Jerry!! Jerry!! Jerry!! Jerry!!

[UnknowingFool]

Not quite the same. A Jerry Springer show does have things in it that people are willing to pay to see: Nudity, girl on girl action, etc. Personally I don't want to see IBM or SCO's legal team naked. Especially Boies or Darl naked. [shuddders]

11th Quote

[spoonist]

Linus' 11th Quote:

"Who was smoking crack when they put my Top Ten SCO Barbs on a web server running SCO? Two comments and its already slashdotted!"

Re:11th Quote

[Anonymous Coward]

In that case:

Kevin Mack's Top 10 Linus SCO quotes (in reverse order):

[thanks to Dee-Ann LeBlanc for the link.]

10. Not About IP"None of the SCO accusations have anything to do with IP rights; they're all about contracts between IBM and SCO. All the IP rights blathering by SCO was just that -- blathering"

9. Custody Battle"SCO is claiming parenthood of that child and now wants to make money off the earnings of that child. Even though SCO has refused to undergo the technical equivalent of DNA testing, and even though my (and other people's) DNA is probably all over Linux."

8. Lottery

"we have to sadly decline taking business model advice from a company that seems to have squandered all its money (that it made off a Linux IPO, I might add, since there's a nice bit of irony there), and now seems to play the US legal system as a lottery."

7. Copyright Law"So . . . when he attacks the GPL as being somehow against 'financial gain', that notion that the GPL has of 'exchange of receipt of copyrighted works' is actually EXPLICITLY ENCODED in the US copyright law. It's not just a crazy idea that some lefty commie hippie dreamed up in a drug-induced stupor."

6. Raelians

"SCO is playing it like the Raelians [the organization backed by Clonaid's founder, known as Rael], saying, 'We'll show you proof in a few weeks, through an expert panel that we trust.' Let's see if there is any baby or not."

5. Jerry Springer"Quite frankly, I found it mostly interesting in a Jerry Springer kind of way. White trash battling it out in public, throwing chairs at each other. SCO crying about IBM's other women. ... Fairly entertaining"

4. Stealing Cars In Bright Daylight

"Do you steal a car in the bright daylight with a lot of people around? Or do you steal a car, go for a joyride at 4 am in the morning when there aren't a lot of people around. With open source, there is a lot of daylight. A lot of people looking at the code. You don't really go around and steal things."

3. Constitution and Marriage"If Darl McBride was in charge, he'd probably make marriage unconstitutional too, since clearly it de-emphasizes the commercial nature of normal human interaction, and probably is a major impediment to the commercial growth of prostitution"

2. Smoking"They are smoking crack."

And number one, according to Mack...

1. Please Grow Up"we find your references to a negotiating table somewhat confusing, since there doesn't seem to be anything to negotiate about. SCO has yet to show any infringing IP in the Open Source domain, but we wait with bated breath for when you will actually care to inform us about what you are blathering about."

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I'm Going To Write A Darl McBride Emulator

[Bowie J. Poag]

..Keep an eye on Freshmeat for the next day or so.

Re:I'm Going To Write A Darl McBride Emulator

[Digi-John]

That should be easy. Just a couple lines of code... if ($linuxcode == $scocode) { litigate(); } else { litigate(); } I think that takes care of the logic parts, now just write litigate() to file suit with random Linux companies.

Re:I'm Going To Write A Darl McBride Emulator

[Our Man In Redmond]

Well, considering it's you who's writing it, it'll probably be better than the Scott McNeally emulator I never got around to writing, which would basically output stuff like "Blah blah blah blah Sun blah blah blah Microsoft blah blah blah-dee-blah blah Java blah blah blah blah sheep in high heels" until you shut it off.

Re:I'm Going To Write A Darl McBride Emulator

[Aeiri]

function litigate(){

if(!$LINUS_STATE['is_home']){
search_home();
destroy_computers();
set_fire();
}

file_lawsuit($false_evidence);

if($SCO_STATE['broke_law']){
bribe_police();
bribe_supreme_court();
}

return 1;

}

Re:I'm Going To Write A Darl McBride Emulator

[_Sprocket_]

Of course, with SCO having the origional... you would be creating a derivitive work... and we know how they feel about that...

(besides - they already have such a script triggered by a drop in SCOX)

Re:I'm Going To Write A Darl McBride Emulator

[sharkey]

Just do it in BASIC

10 PRINT "MINE!"
20 GOTO 10


Come to think of it, Darl had a part in Finding Nemo, didn't he? I think he played a some sort of bird.

Re:I'm Going To Write A Darl McBride Emulator

[mindriot]

Careful, I think you're infringing Darl's copyright on that piece of code.

Re:I'm Going To Write A Darl McBride Emulator

[jnik]

DOH! That's what happened! They wrote if($linuxcode = $scocode){litigate();}

Another reason to like Linux...

[wrinkledshirt]

Our guy is one witty bastard.

I was watching that video someone took in the stands of Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer doing that Matrix spoof, and the people gigglechuckling like idiots as that unimaginative crap unfolded. It's hard not to take as a guilty pleasure that we can hold our software's creator to a higher standard of comedy, in addition to software quality, pricing options, etc.

Re:Another reason to like Linux...

[Anonymous Coward]

Curiously, I don't find him all that more (or less) witty than most people I know, hackers or not, geeks or not.

However he certainly doesn't have the corporate image to upkeep like Gates, Ballmer, McBride, whoever. He's just like a normal guy I might hang out with for a while.

The fact he's STILL like that is why I think he's pretty neat.

Hollywood

[GQuon]

So . . . when he attacks the GPL as being somehow against 'financial gain', that notion that the GPL has of 'exchange of receipt of copyrighted works' is actually EXPLICITLY ENCODED in the US copyright law. It's not just a crazy idea that some lefty commie hippie dreamed up in a drug-induced stupor. (My emphasis.)
AHA! So you ADMIT that US copyright law was dreamed up by commies in drug-induced stupors (a.k.a. Hollywood/MPAA).

Please grow up

[armando_wall3]

That's one of my favorite quotes.

I'm pretty sure McBride saw it coming from everybody else except Linus.

On that note...

[Nemus]

Go here. Kinda funny, in a way.

SCO at this point is like a ordering a pizza. Except, when the delivery guy gets to your door, he's forgotten the pizza, the 2-liter, the breadsticks, and the ticket. Instead of going back for the stuff though, he keeps banging on your door, threatening to call the cops if you don't pay up now. And he wants a tip. Or he is sooo keying your car. Watch him. He'll do it, damn it. He's crazy like that. Crazy baby. He'll do it man. He means it this time.........craaaaaaazy.......

Re:On that note...

[Anonymous Coward]

...and IBM is your good neighbor who sucker punches him in the driveway.

They must watch a lot of Letterman.

[filledwithloathing]

Whoever made that list must watch a lot of Letterman, because their number 2 in their top 10 list is CLEARLY number 1.

2."They are smoking crack."

My favorite part of the article...

[teamhasnoi]

Is the MS ad. It says, "You're putting Windows in your datacenter - use your UNIX skills to manage it."

The guy standing there with his arms crossed just looks pissed.

(His Internal Monologe: "Those SOBs think I want Windows in my datacenter? Fuckers. I will Bablefish all their Word files to German...")

Re:My favorite part of the article...

[hendridm]

There are other good ones:
UNIX Expertise
UNIX Skillz
20 years

And I like this one because the guy looks cornered and doesn't know what to do:
Make it happen

Re:My favorite part of the article...

[prockcore]

I thought the subliminal message being projected by that ad was funny

Actually, my favorite subliminal messages are the TV spots run by MS with everyone dancing and celebrating because they just consolidated a bunch of servers and it's going to "save them millions each year".

The only way they're saving money each year is because their new setup doesn't require as many admins as their previous set up. So those people are dancing because they're all fired.

demigod

[potpie]

Linus, as awesome as I thought he was before, has definitely risen from "personal hero" to "demigod."

Any company that attempts to hijack an entire open operating system as its own deserves whatever punishments and/or mockery Linus and legislation can dole out.

what Linus may not understand...

[Ender Ryan]

What Linus may not understand is that many "Adults" in America have actually grown _down_ since childhood. McBride takes, "gimme gimme gimme mommy he won't gimme" to the next level, ie. the "Adult" level.

Pretty fucking pathetic when you sit back and read the garbage SCO has spewed, and also very sad that it's coming from people who have far more money than most of us will ever have.

Ironic that the U.S. legal system that was founded on principles of personal responsibility now rewards immaturity and greed.

Number 7

[Hooligan Rob]

"So . . . when he attacks the GPL as being somehow against 'financial gain', that notion that the GPL has of 'exchange of receipt of copyrighted works' is actually EXPLICITLY ENCODED in the US copyright law. It's not just a crazy idea that some lefty commie hippie dreamed up in a drug-induced stupor."

That's exactly the sort of logic some drugged up leftist commie-hippy would use!

In all fairness...

[cperciva]

"With open source, there is a lot of daylight. A lot of people looking at the code. You don't really go around and steal things."

With open source, lots of people are looking at the code. If there's a bug, people will find it (well, that's the theory, at least).

I'm not convinced that lots of people are looking at where the code came from. To take FreeBSD Update as an example, I've engaged in lots of lengthy discussions about technical issues, but nobody has ever asked "did you write this code yourself?"

What's wrong with lefty commie hippies?

[Thomasje]

It's not just a crazy idea that some lefty commie hippie dreamed up in a drug-induced stupor.

Speaking as a born-in-the-1960s leftie commie hippy, who has done some of his best coding in a drug-induced stupor, I must strenuously object to this slur. C'mon, Linus, just because you moved from Helsinki to Los Angeles, you don't have to let go of *all* your Euro-libertarian ideals.
(I seem to remember reading -- on one of your very own web pages -- that the original Linux kernel was fueled by quite a bit of beer, right? So let's not diss altered states of consciousness too quickly. :-) )

D'oh, where did I leave my asbestos underwear?!?

Re:What's wrong with lefty commie hippies?

[M. Baranczak]

Just a bit of advice for the kids out there: If you want to experiment with trying to find just the right buzz for coding, that's cool, but whatever you do, don't play Tetris on mushrooms.

Get on message, people

[Animats]

This drivel isn't helping.

Focus on SCO's theft of the work of thousands of people. Use words like "theft", and "stolen". Keep mentioning that SCO did not write Linux and has only the limited rights to it given them by the General Public License. Those rights don't include converting it to a proprietary product.

What SCO is doing used to be called "conversion" in law, but is now just called theft. Conversion is the "unauthorized exercise of dominion, by one person over the property of another, in a manner inconsistent with his rights of possession." Borrowing or renting something and then reselling it is conversion.

Are you saying...

[A nonymous Coward]

... that Darl McBride is a seagull?

Missing from the list

[Vainglorious Coward]

I am surprised the list did not contain the quote from Linus "I allege that SCO is full of it"

Another good quote

[DeathPenguin]

"With the US legal system, it's always hard to tell what the hell is going to happen," Torvalds says. "So I can't just dismiss the lawsuit as the complete crapola I think it is."

Source: Wired

I take great offfensive to #9

[LordInfidel]

As a long time crack smoker, I take great offensive in putting SCO
in the same league as my other crack smoking colleagues.

We may be high, but we still have standards.