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Funny Things You've Seen on Resumes?
noackjr asks: "Everyone wants a great job, but writing a quality resume requires creativity and a fair bit of work (we won't go into actually having the proper skills, qualifications, or experiences -- let's not cloud the issue). Alternatively, sprucing up your resume with a few choice pieces of quasi-truth might set you apart from other 'qualified' candidates (the HR person will never figure it out, right?). A friend from college included knowledge of 'C, C+, and C++' on his resume. He had worked in C and C++ and just figured there had to be a C+ as well (too bad he didn't list C+-). He ended up getting a $50,000+/yr job with a major US tech firm using that resume. Anyone else come across funny/pathetic attempts to improve a resume?"
I grow weary of seeing lots of young 20-something applicants fresh out of school who claim they have excellent coding skills and then proceed to list about ten different languages including HTML. First, HTML is not a programming language. Secondly, it takes years to learn how to program WELL in a complex language like C++. You may know the basic syntax for ten different languages, but that doesn't mean you're an expert programmer in all. And I'd argue that if you think listing tons of languages makes you look impressive, I would argue you're not much of a programmer at all (unless you've been working for decades).
Another applicant wrote in his cover letter than his goal was to get a Nobel prize. We are a defense contractor. They don't give out Nobel prizes for "Most Novel New Method to Kill People". Besides, this guy had a GPA of less than 3.5. Better get cracking if you want that Nobel prize, pal.
GMD
watch this
We all know that the HR people put the impossible into their resumes (5 years of Java back in '96, anyone)?
And we also all know that HR does keyword searches on resumes, throwing out any that don't have the keyword.
So why would't turnabout be fair play?
Hmmm, then again maybe they're onto something in weeding out those who would lie on their resume to get the job.
Trolls lurk everywhere. Mod them down.
Here's one to watch for: watch for television advertisements where a product is pictured as reflected in a mirror, but the product name isn't mirror imaged. The eye will be drawn to the product name instinctively as the mind is saying "shouldn't that be backwards?"
Some people consider a Resume to be a sales tool; an advertisement for themselves; and in keeping with our long-standing tradition of skirting the truth when advertising, consider it more important to get noticed than to be truthful.
After all, the truthful ones who don't get noticed stand less of a chance at getting the job (or making the sale) than the untruthful ones which make it to the interview.
The thing about things we don't know is we often don't know we don't know them.
And of course you have to include your slashdot karma rating. Nothing impresses a potential employer more!
Plus, if its a guage of how much you want to work for the company if they actually get it.
"Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the life-long attempt to acquire it." -Albert Einstein
Then there was the guy who listed an expert network programmer, with skills in Ethernet, TCP/IP etc.
My first classic question is "How does Ethernet work ?"
I drew a blank stare, with a "I don't know" - Time to end this interview and quit wasting my time... Oh well
I have mod points and I am not afraid to use them
It seems like that the "Robert George of Princeton Law School" mentioned in the New Jersey Ballot site (second "this") is probably Robert George, Professor of Jurisprudence at Princeton. It seems like an understandable error to mistakenly assume the Professor of Jurisprudence is at a Law School.
People often forget that, it's not the language you know, but the system that you program for that's important.
.NET evangelist. All of the concepts are the same.
Learning the syntax of any programming language is incredibly easy, and once you understand the fundamental concepts of programming, you can apply it to any new language that comes out. Whether you're a C++ genius, a Java guru, a Perl hacker, a VB monkey, a Python hippie, or a Microsoft
What's much more harder, and what takes much more time, is to learn the intricacies of the system that you're programming for.
Writing solid C++ code for Linux, is incredibly different than writing solid C++ MFC code for Windows. The syntax might look alike, but the system calls and whatever else you need is different. The same goes for Java, except with that language, you are more abstracted from the hardware layer, and you program for the Java platform. But still.. you gotta know the "Java system of programming."
"What's in my pocket?" That is about as fair as your question. How many people have the fields that come up for commands for every argument combo memorized? That is why we have reference manuals and man pages.
It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning